What is she thinking, I wish I could read her mind

[SickAndTiredOfIt]

I dont want her to go, but maybe I should.

 

This is our 3rd seperation and I am scared its our last, but hoping we get back together.

 

Its been 4 weeks since she moved out.

 

I am 30 born in America, she is 33 and born in the Philippines and a US Citezen. She has been in the US for 10 years. We have a 4 year old son. I met her in

the US. We are not married.

 

1st two times we seperated was because of my drinking and smoking weed. That has stopped and now a 13 months clean and sober. This time she has moved out and

says she is just not happy. She said in anger one night that I am too controlling. Last time we went to counselling. It did a lot of good. After the 1st of

the year she didnt want to go back. I always wanted to go, but she got mad when I pushed.

 

I see that I am only controlling on 2 points, not wanting her to go out dancing with girlfriends until 2AM and spending every penny we have. Within the last

1.5 years she met friends who like to go dancing, she loves dancing. I dont like her going out, because guys are always hitting on her. I trust her, but get

very jealous. She says I am to insercure. She cheated on her last 2 husbands, I think I have a reason to worry a little.

 

Anyways, she has moved out and for the benifit of our son we are trying to be nice to each other. She said we will see what happens with us, who knows this

might make us more in love and get back together in time. So I have been real nice to her. We have had no bad words. We talk almost everyday, sometimes real

short and only about our son. 2 Sundays ago we went to the California State fair and spent 10 hours together. She held my arm 4-5 times and still always

calls me hun. Last Sunday all 3 of us went to see Superman Returns at the theater. Yesterday before soccer practice she came by 1.5 hours early and hung out,

then after soccer we went clothes shopping for me. She is nice, but still distant. She gets mad if I try asking her too much about her personal life.

 

I have read that usually the person who leaves is usually 4-6 months farther along in the emotional state and is has an easier time with this.

 

Is it possible she just wants to be friends. She seems so happy. Could she possible be thinking of coming home or am I just desperately hoping. I dont know

if I should just stop seeing her and move on or keep trying to fix this. I really want to have our family together. I can see if I was mean, drunk or imature

but I am not. If we didnt have a son, ya leave. But we have a son and I though a happy family.

 

Also I was pretty caught off gaurd about this. I thought we were pretty happy. O ya. When we are going out and doing stuff we get along great. We went to

Disneyland, Yosemite, camping and had the best time together. It seems she really gets bored and depressed when we dont go go go and spend spend spend. She

doesnt understand how hard I work to make the money stretch. Now she will on her own.

 

I am also playing it cool, because we are in the middle of child custody stuff and she has agreed to 50/50 custody. I dont want her to freak and demand more.

I can not live without my son. Also after child custody I am going to try and buy her off the house. She is going to be shocked at how little I am going to

offer her. She has some fantasy that our house is worth a lot more. She has mentioned she wants $50k, I told her before probably around $10-$15k. If we

sell now I am thinking we might get $2-$5k each.

 

Sorry for such a long story.

 

Thanks for any advice.