figgurinoutlife Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 Well, I was doing NC for a month and a half because I was tired of being my ex's backburner boyfriend. My ex would say she was in love with me, regreted breaking up with me, but still be with her boyfriend, and after they broke up she would still say those things to me, but still hang around him. I was always there for her, almost like her puppy and gave her a shoulder to cry on, etc. Well after 2 years of being broken up I snapped and said "enough" I need to finally get over this girl so I wrote her an email saying I was tired of being her doormat and to find another one. Yeah it pissed her off and she slammed me on her myspace, so I slammed her back then deleted my profile and started my strict NC. Well during the NC it was very hard but I didn't contact her one time in any way. She would call anonymously evey couple weeks with no message, then 2 weeks ago she started calling more and more to where I got 5 anonymous calls a day! I knew it was her, but I didn't answer once. This went on for a week, then she showed up in my driveway while I was leaving for work begging me for 2 min. of my time. She was crying saying the whole year she was with her now ex, she was on drugs and so strung out and it was hard to get away from that. She then said she has moved back in town and is now living w/her mom and has been clean for 2 weeks and wants to start her life over with a new beginning. She said she just couldn't be with her now ex anymore. I listened, while being skeptical. She begged me to meet her that night for dinner to talk and I agreed. At dinner she said that everything she said to me in the past about being in love with me and wanting to be with me was true and she HAS to have me in her life, that she doesn't know what it is about me but cannot let me go. We then went to the park for a walk and kissed. I told her I do not want to get hurt again and she said she wants to start over with me and doesn't want to hurt me ever again. I also told her that I do not do friends with ex's. She says she wants to take things slow, get to know each other again and build into a relationship. I was kind of surprised that she didn't want to jump right into a relationship but to take things slow. So this last week we have occasionally hung out, no spending the night yet or anything, no sex really yet, just lots of sweet text messages and phone calls. She seems really sincere about everything like sending me messages saying she wants to be with me, wants stability in her life, wants to be a family with me, seeing if I'm still in love with her, wanting me to have all of her, I'm what makes her happy, wanting to prove everything to me, wanting to know what the future holds for us, that I make her feel safe, etc. She seems like a different person and I hope dearly it's for real. I'm so afraid this will only last awhile and then she'll go back to her old ways. I am not pressuring her to get back right away even though I wouldn't mind and I'm not telling her I want her to stay the night yet even though I really want her too. I am kind of going with the flow. We are hanging out on Thurs. to go 4-wheeling for a day then she is helping me move into my new house. I am just afraid to be friend zoned again, but I don't want to scare her off by rushing things. I am kind of getting the feeling that she is afraid of scaring me off by rushing so she's not either. Am I doing the right thing by going with the flow? I had a short talk with her tonight saying I don't want to be ****ed around or played games with or I am gone, and she understood and said that she doesn't want to hurt me. Is there anything I should be doing differently here to secure a new relationship with her, and not scare her off, or be friend zoned? Link to post Share on other sites
dreamguy Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 Is there anything I should be doing differently here to secure a new relationship with her, and not scare her off, or be friend zoned? Yes there is. - Don't mention the past anymore because it's not to your advantage to remind her how you acted as a dormat. It will only revive negative feelings inside her. - Let her tell you in her own way when she wants to take it to the next step. Believe me she'll let you know just like she came to your house when she wanted you back. - And even when she makes it obvious she wants more just don't rush in. For every step you take forward stop and make sure she still wants more (just don't let her know or tell her you're doing this). Link to post Share on other sites
Vanquish Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 How long did you go out with your ex prior to the two year breakup? I have a feeling this may happen with me, only im not going to be as nice. Link to post Share on other sites
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