Too late, now what?

[jimbeck]

I made an attempt to get back in communications with one of my ex gf. A month or so back, the idea came to me, and for some reason it seemed like a good idea. After thinking about the idea for awhile, I had this strong urge to go and do it, but I kept putting it off. Finally, I went on down but at this time I wasn't feeling all that much up to the idea. I actually flipped a coin, it landed heads so I make a try for it.

 

 

I have no idea where she is now, so I ask a friend who ususally keeps a daily commuication with my ex gf. He goes on to say that he hasn't heard from her in a couple of weeks. I was then shocked to hear that she was living a town about five miles from where I live now, but he said that she to have already moved back to a city which is about 200 mile away. At that point, I was feeling some bad timing and thought no sense in even asking to get some contact info now. For some reason he asked me me twice if I wanted to leave my number and he would make sure that she got it, and for some dumb reason I did just that.

 

 

 

What I wanted to do was just see her and talk with her. I'm thinking it was a mistake for me to leave my number for her to call me. She had a tendacy that if hadn't talked to a person in awhile she would get overly shy and wouldn't call even if she really wanted to. Also, she probably has a bf and she could get the wrong idea. Ladies, if an ex bf whom you hadn't seen in over a year asked about you and left you his number, what would you think? Maybe I should stop on back and if he hasn't already tell him not to give her my number. Any advice on this?

[LaraV]

Well, first off, how did the realtionship end? Good terms? Bad terms? Who broke up with whom?

[jimbeck]

It was a few years back when the mentioned ex gf and I dated exclusively. The thing is, when I met her, one of the first thing she told me was she was going to be moving in a few months. At that time I had recently been burned after a long relationship ended with a move. I made my mind to just be friends with her. She and I became quick friends, and we went out but just as friends. However, one night we went out, then on the way back she just started pouring it out, saying that she could tell me anything, that I was her favorite person and she asked if we could just try hooking up. I really couldn't say no. However, I was always holding back, never even made out with her, only thing I really could do was hold hands.

It came time for her to move and she broke up with me, thinking that I didn't like her much.

 

 

She moved back about a 6 mos later, and then relized how much I actually liked her but she happened to move back with a bf. Then she made a move for me but I was involved. We had a couple of chances for romance afterwards but neither of us spoke up. About a year ago, she sent me flowers, and I thought this meant for me to make a big move for her which I did and she clearly wanted something with me but at the time she was getting out of a relationship. Normally I would've just waited a few more weeks, but I seen the guy, I could not believe she would date a guy like that. I got jealous and drunk, called her and asked what was she thinking, and insisted that she was

leading me on. She moved about a week, later.

 

 

What I wanted to do was just see her and talk with her. I'm thinking it was a mistake for me to leave my number for her to call me. She had a tendacy that if hadn't talked to a person in awhile she would get overly shy and wouldn't call even if she really wanted to. Also, she probably has a bf and she could get the wrong idea. Ladies, if an ex bf whom you hadn't seen in over a year asked about you and left you his number, what would you think? It's been over a week now, good chance she's being too shy to respond or just doesn't care too but I think I might stop in and tell him not to give my number to her if he hasn't already. Any advice?

[Greensleaves]

Hm, to me it sounds as if you didn't really know what you wanted back then nor now. You say: she probably has a bf and could get the wrong idea... What idea do you want her to get?

Why do you want to see her and talk to her? And I am also not sure why you think it was a mistake to leave your number? If she is too shy, she just won't call you, so you wouldn't need to ask your friend to not pass it on.

Now, if you think it was a mistake because you would have rather contacted her yourself, e.g. get her number and call, that's a different story. But it doesn' really sound like it.

 

If an ex bf calls me after a year's time I do not necessarily think it means he wants to get back together or anything, but it depends whether we had decided on NC or not. If we just stopped communicating because of circumstances e.g. moving I wouldn't think too much.

 

But I haven't figured out if this is what you are worried about; that she might think too much even though it is unjustified. Or isn't it?