Little creature Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 I have more than a year with my boy friend and I am almost breaking up with him, the main reason: because he kisses her female friends in the lips, hugs them, look into their eyes, rub each other noses, front heads and chicks...everything just in front of me! girl friends have a strong intimacy with him, and he says is nothing sexual or romantic. I told him it hurted me, and he said he had always being like that, and it was not easy to change. First, he said he just did it with one of her best female friends. The next party we were together, he did it with another friend, but he said to me that was it: just those two. After a while we were living together, and then he came to me and said: it wasnt truth, not because i wanted to lie to you, but because it was unconscious on me that i realy kiss in the lips to a lot of close female friends and even to some of them I know from a long time. I already tried to take it and it still hurting to much. And the problem is not just a simple kiss in the lips, but he gives them several little kisses all together with some other intimacies: huging, eye contact, rubbing arms, jocking, laughing.... Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 This is a bunch of bull. Your boyfriend is totally disrespecting you. If the roles were reversed. do you think he would be putting up with you kissing on the lips all of your male friends. He is living with you and enjoying meaningful kisses on the lips with other women in front of you? I am sorry but he is clearly getting off on this. You have told him how you feel and he continues. He is sending you a clear message that he does not care about your feelings. He sounds like a player and way too immature to be in a committed relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
littlepiggy1 Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 He sounds like a player. Lip kissing, hugging and staring into people's eyes is not generally normal behavior for greeting others. I would just break up with him if he's not going to try to do something about it. Link to post Share on other sites
ZGT1503 Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 I also experienced a similar thing with my boyfriend, but in my case he does not do the hugging, rubbing noses, eye contact thing, just a kiss on the lips with certain good female friends he grew up with. I was soooo shocked the first time I saw it, because for me kissing on the lips is a sexual and very intimate thing, and I have never experienced it between platonic friends. However, my boyfriend is from a different country with different 'norms' and I kind of learned to deal with it because I believe it's only a platonic thing. Although I hate seeing it. I think you have to judge whether, in your mind, he has gone a step too far. Because if you can't accept it, then he should respect you enough to understand that it's making you uncomfortable, and at least cut back on it, if not stop. I do not agree that it necessarily means he is a player or you should break up with him without further discussion. But what is for sure is that he should listen to your feelings and try to change in order to give you the respect you deserve... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 He is being an idiot. When one is exclusive with someone else, one is supposed to give up kissing other people. Sounds like he is just making excuses because he is enjoying himself. He's acting selfish. Ask him how HE would feel if you went around cuddling, kissing and rubbing noses with some men friends of yours. My best bet is, it would piss him off and make him feel jealous! Ask him! Seriously! Link to post Share on other sites
lauracollin Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 OMG. That's totally not an excuse. If he can't stop it then break up with him. He is disrespecting you and your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyfair869 Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 yeah there is no excuse for him doing that! i saw this one episode of laguna beach where this girls new boyfriend kissed his ex girlfriend and tries to say it was the girls fault but thankfully the guys girlfriend tells him to leave her alone when he tries to talk to her and just leaves and doesnt say anything to him. he was a real jerk too. my ma also would get pissed when her ex husband my ****ing step dad omg i hate him well he did that stuff to with his women friends and let me tell u the last thing a guy should do is kiss other girls even friends if he has a gf. it just isnt cool. plus the guy should be so into you that his lips are too busy with yours lol to kiss any other girls. Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck234 Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 Ha...whoa whoa whoa whoa....4 words here....BREAK UP WITH THE PRICK. Sorry, 5 words. I wouldn't deal with that sort of caper. Break up with him now and give him a bit of a wake-up call. My bf got intimate with my sister just ONCE and I gave him a tune-up. I was NOT putting up with that sh*t. Let's say he doesn't touch her now....or any girl for that matter. Do NOT do what I did and blame yourself for this. HE is in the wrong, not YOU. Break up with him, darlin, before you get hurt even more. He doesn't deserve you in the slightest.... Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 If it's so platonic demand he do the same thing with his male friends Link to post Share on other sites
littlepiggy1 Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 If it's so platonic demand he do the same thing with his male friends Ha! I like this suggestion. Link to post Share on other sites
Madaline Posted September 1, 2006 Share Posted September 1, 2006 Actually I'm one of those people who does that kissing on the lips thing and from what you have said he is crossing the line. The only thing that your suppost to do is hug and kiss them. Thats it. None of this other crap you've said hes being doing. The only people that I kiss is really good "close" friends and I'm going to do it whether or not my husband likes it or not. Its just one of those family things that I've picked up and like doing. It makes me unique and I don't mind if my guy friends wives or girlfriends kiss my husband. This way if he can't say anything to me about it because he's doing it too. It's nothing personal but just to say hello. I can see how it might be of a shock if you've never seen that before. I haven't crossed the line fully with kissing relatives like some of my relatives do. I can't seem to do that but I don't see anything wrong with kissing other people on the lips. However if you are unconfortable with what hes doing and I would be too, I would probably tell him to stop it or i'm leaving. Link to post Share on other sites
XDOR Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 I have heard that there are some studies that concluded with this: The most intimate act of love between 2 persons is the kiss in the mouth, even more than intercourse. So that said, you decide if you keep allowing your boyfriend to do what he's doing... Link to post Share on other sites
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