moving

[Bill]

I have had a one month relationship so far with the girl of my dreams. Everything has been perfect, we match so perfectly. Friday she told me that she had to move. The person who she lives with, a family friend, has problems living where they currently reside. They are moving about 40 miles east of me, in New Jersey, this is VERY far. I love her so much, and she does not really want to move. I have just sent her an email, asking her if she would like to live here. I would give her a room of her own and anything else she needs. Leaving her also means leaving a lot of things she loves, but she would have no where else to go. Her mother is dying of cancer, and only has 6 months to live. If she stayed here she would be able to see her. If she moved, neither I nor her mother could talk to her on the phone due to long distance. I am very very sad. I have never met someone so perfect, yet she has to leave... but wait, I just don't see a "has" to leave. I want to give her a chance, I wish to send her back to college and all. I want to help. I would give her anything she needs. Was I right to offer a place to live? I would be giving her a room of her own and money if she ever needed it. I am terribly sad right now. Is there a better way to ask her to live here?

[Bill]

By the way, it is so sudden... she is moving Wednesday.

I have had a one month relationship so far with the girl of my dreams. Everything has been perfect, we match so perfectly. Friday she told me that she had to move. The person who she lives with, a family friend, has problems living where they currently reside. They are moving about 40 miles east of me, in New Jersey, this is VERY far. I love her so much, and she does not really want to move. I have just sent her an email, asking her if she would like to live here. I would give her a room of her own and anything else she needs. Leaving her also means leaving a lot of things she loves, but she would have no where else to go. Her mother is dying of cancer, and only has 6 months to live. If she stayed here she would be able to see her. If she moved, neither I nor her mother could talk to her on the phone due to long distance. I am very very sad. I have never met someone so perfect, yet she has to leave... but wait, I just don't see a "has" to leave. I want to give her a chance, I wish to send her back to college and all. I want to help. I would give her anything she needs. Was I right to offer a place to live? I would be giving her a room of her own and money if she ever needed it. I am terribly sad right now. Is there a better way to ask her to live here?

[Bill]

I'm so upset ... so .....very..... very upset. Whenever I visit her, she runs to hug me, the look in her eyes... it is almost too much for me. I have never been so happy in all my life. Now, as I sit here thinking, why is this happening? ..... I would give her anything. She is so beautiful... I tell her this over and over and over again. I just keep thinking about her. She says she always thinks about me. I wish she was here. I'd give my life savings away, if only she'd stay. She does not want to leave. I miss her.... please help me on how to ask her to say with me.

I have had a one month relationship so far with the girl of my dreams. Everything has been perfect, we match so perfectly. Friday she told me that she had to move. The person who she lives with, a family friend, has problems living where they currently reside. They are moving about 40 miles east of me, in New Jersey, this is VERY far. I love her so much, and she does not really want to move. I have just sent her an email, asking her if she would like to live here. I would give her a room of her own and anything else she needs. Leaving her also means leaving a lot of things she loves, but she would have no where else to go. Her mother is dying of cancer, and only has 6 months to live. If she stayed here she would be able to see her. If she moved, neither I nor her mother could talk to her on the phone due to long distance. I am very very sad. I have never met someone so perfect, yet she has to leave... but wait, I just don't see a "has" to leave. I want to give her a chance, I wish to send her back to college and all. I want to help. I would give her anything she needs. Was I right to offer a place to live? I would be giving her a room of her own and money if she ever needed it. I am terribly sad right now. Is there a better way to ask her to live here?

[yes]

What did she say to living with u?

 

Maybe u could help her pay for renting her own place until she gets a job and can do it herself or something like that?

 

Why is it so sudden? Didnt she know before that she was moving?

 

40 miles... how many km is that? is it THAT far? can u drive to see her on weekeneds?

 

-yes

I'm so upset ... so .....very..... very upset. Whenever I visit her, she runs to hug me, the look in her eyes... it is almost too much for me. I have never been so happy in all my life. Now, as I sit here thinking, why is this happening? ..... I would give her anything. She is so beautiful... I tell her this over and over and over again. I just keep thinking about her. She says she always thinks about me. I wish she was here. I'd give my life savings away, if only she'd stay. She does not want to leave. I miss her.... please help me on how to ask her to say with me.

[Bill]

40 miles is about 48km. She did not reply yet as she is not home, but I have already sent the email. I don't have enough money to have her rent her own place. I am currently in college, and I work from 10am to 5pm Saturday. It is so sudden because if they stay past Wed, they will have to pay rent for another month. She had no idea that she was moving at all. I would drive to see her, but I am absolutely sure that would limit our time. It would be hard for me to bring her back here for privacy, time being the factor.

What did she say to living with u? Maybe u could help her pay for renting her own place until she gets a job and can do it herself or something like that? Why is it so sudden? Didnt she know before that she was moving? 40 miles... how many km is that? is it THAT far? can u drive to see her on weekeneds? -yes

[Bill]

40 miles is about 64km. She did not reply yet as she is not home, but I have already sent the email. I don't have enough money to have her rent her own place. I am currently in college, and I work from 10am to 5pm Saturday. It is so sudden because if they stay past Wed, they will have to pay rent for another month. She had no idea that she was moving at all. I would drive to see her, but I am absolutely sure that would limit our time. It would be hard for me to bring her back here for privacy, time being the factor.

 

I'm doing my calc4 homework, so i accidently wasn't thinking and used 30 for the distance then computed that on my last message...

 

This one is right. She may also be living farther than that, but no closer. I am not sure of the exact distance except that it is more than 40 miles, 64km.

What did she say to living with u? Maybe u could help her pay for renting her own place until she gets a job and can do it herself or something like that? Why is it so sudden? Didnt she know before that she was moving? 40 miles... how many km is that? is it THAT far? can u drive to see her on weekeneds? -yes

[yes]

well -thats a half-hour drive... not that bad. u can go there n back in about an hour and a bit ... that's doable... so i think even if she doesn't wanna live with u, u can keep this relationship going... and maybe she'll move in with you later.

 

u have a car, right? does she?

 

-yes

40 miles is about 64km. She did not reply yet as she is not home, but I have already sent the email. I don't have enough money to have her rent her own place. I am currently in college, and I work from 10am to 5pm Saturday. It is so sudden because if they stay past Wed, they will have to pay rent for another month. She had no idea that she was moving at all. I would drive to see her, but I am absolutely sure that would limit our time. It would be hard for me to bring her back here for privacy, time being the factor.

 

I'm doing my calc4 homework, so i accidently wasn't thinking and used 30 for the distance then computed that on my last message... This one is right. She may also be living farther than that, but no closer. I am not sure of the exact distance except that it is more than 40 miles, 64km.

[yes]

PS u've only been dating her for a month. stay cool, so she doesn't think u'r TOTALLY head over heels for her... and stop telling her she's beautiful 24-7, or she'll get used to it and wont appreciate it ne-more.

 

i know u'r sad, but stay cool - remmeber that the relationship is very new... - and while she may not wanna move in with u now... if u keep it going, she'll change her mind later... so dont give up

 

best of luck

40 miles is about 64km. She did not reply yet as she is not home, but I have already sent the email. I don't have enough money to have her rent her own place. I am currently in college, and I work from 10am to 5pm Saturday. It is so sudden because if they stay past Wed, they will have to pay rent for another month. She had no idea that she was moving at all. I would drive to see her, but I am absolutely sure that would limit our time. It would be hard for me to bring her back here for privacy, time being the factor.

 

I'm doing my calc4 homework, so i accidently wasn't thinking and used 30 for the distance then computed that on my last message... This one is right. She may also be living farther than that, but no closer. I am not sure of the exact distance except that it is more than 40 miles, 64km.

[Bill]

I have a car yes, she does not have access to one. Like I said before, this is New Jersey, and she said it was close to the beach, which takes about an hour and a half to get to, and I believe that is 40 miles, like I said the distance may be wrong. I would hope that she would move in with me now, not only for our relationship's sake but for her mother. Her mother only has 6 months to live. I also wanted to send her to college, because that is what she wanted to do. She cannot do this where she is going to live.

well -thats a half-hour drive... not that bad. u can go there n back in about an hour and a bit ... that's doable... so i think even if she doesn't wanna live with u, u can keep this relationship going... and maybe she'll move in with you later. u have a car, right? does she? -yes

[Bill]

I am totally head over heels for her. We match so well, and this relationship has already went very far in a short amount of time. I've had a past relationship for 2.5 years with someone else, and I've never felt this way about them.

 

We absolutely match, and she knows it. I am so happy with her, and she has already said she was happy with me.

PS u've only been dating her for a month. stay cool, so she doesn't think u'r TOTALLY head over heels for her... and stop telling her she's beautiful 24-7, or she'll get used to it and wont appreciate it ne-more. i know u'r sad, but stay cool - remmeber that the relationship is very new... - and while she may not wanna move in with u now... if u keep it going, she'll change her mind later... so dont give up best of luck

[yes]

I am totally head over heels for her. We match so well, and this relationship has already went very far in a short amount of time. I've had a past relationship for 2.5 years with someone else, and I've never felt this way about them.

 

We absolutely match, and she knows it. I am so happy with her, and she has already said she was happy with me.

[Bill]

I am still waiting for her, I guess to get home. She went out with her mother tonight to her mother's house.(she cannot live there).

 

I miss her so much

 

I will post as soon as I get the message!

[yes]

why can't she live with her mother btw?

 

and who's this "family friend"? is it a woman?

 

yep, let us know what she says ..... i'll check for your message later on...

 

best of luck meanwhile...

I am still waiting for her, I guess to get home. She went out with her mother tonight to her mother's house.(she cannot live there). I miss her so much I will post as soon as I get the message!

[Bill]

Her sister and his husband live in the same house as her mother. He is very abusive and trys to hit on my girlfriend. They have done very mean stuff in the past. Her mother also smokes VERY much and she cannot stand the smoke in the house. The main reason would be her brother in law though, he's really mean and controlling. Her sister and brother in law get the house once her mother can no longer live there.

 

The family friend is a 60 year old guy. He's kinda like a grandfather to her and watches out for her. He's very nice.

why can't she live with her mother btw? and who's this "family friend"? is it a woman? yep, let us know what she says ..... i'll check for your message later on... best of luck meanwhile...

[sparkle]

As far as I know, your girlfriend is an adult and fully capable of making her own decisions. You cannot force her to move in with you if she doesn't want to. And aside from offering her to live with you, there really isn't too much else you can do.

 

The decision will still be up to her, and worrying like crazy won't get you anywhere. Give her the offer, and if she declines it, realize that she is the one that is moving/staying, and whatever decision she makes, it will be because she thinks it's the best thing for her.

[Bill]

I would never force her, please don't use that word force.

As far as I know, your girlfriend is an adult and fully capable of making her own decisions. You cannot force her to move in with you if she doesn't want to. And aside from offering her to live with you, there really isn't too much else you can do. The decision will still be up to her, and worrying like crazy won't get you anywhere. Give her the offer, and if she declines it, realize that she is the one that is moving/staying, and whatever decision she makes, it will be because she thinks it's the best thing for her.

[Bill]

As I have stated in my previous message, my girlfriend was supposed to move. This is a girl that I have been seeing for a month now. We have a perfectly stable relationship on all levels. When I first met her, immediately I knew she was the one. Even on the first date, it was perfect. The date ended at about 5am, when we were at her house on the couch, with her in my arms sleeping. Ever since then, things have grown into a full relationship, g/f b/f status. After the first date however, her ex came back from the military, and she said that he thought he was with her. She thought about it for a week before he came back, after our date. He had done many mean things to her in the past and she stated that she was not attracted to him at all. She still wished to be friends with him though. After he came back, she told him that she was really leaving her. She later told me that he was planning on getting engaged to her on valentine's day, but he now returned the ring.

 

Her and I continued to date throughout this month. Friday, 2 days ago, she told me that she had to move and that it was so sudden. She had to move by Tuesday. The person that she lives with is a family friend and he had to move so she had to go with him (he's like a grandfather to her). She did not want to move at all. I was supposed to see her Saturday, but she said she wanted to see her family and asked if I understood, I said yes, and she did. I asked her out tonight, Sunday, and she said yes (asked in the morning). She said she had to go somewhere in the day, but she'd be back at 5. She never came back until 9:30 tonight. She called me and told me that she is not moving now, that she will go live with her mother. She said she was there, at home, with Brian right now (her ex), and that they just got home. This quite puzzles me, I know they should just be friends. She did not see me tonight, and I could not see her. She now is packing because she has to move out tomorrow to get to her mom's house. I'm a little worried as to why I am not with her and he is... why.... I keep asking myself this, why would she have him there?

 

I know that she does not like him in that way anymore, but I also know that he is controlling, she has told me this. I told her that I would never come over if he was there, because it would be very strange. I hate this guy from what she has said about him, how he used to treat her. I'm sure it would be a physical confrontation if I went there, and I'm sure he would start it. He may be from the military, but I'm a foot taller than him, and I played triple A Ice hockey for 7 years. I would never want to even been seen by him. Why would she be with him right now? I realize many times that he goes over, they cannot get him out because he doesn't leave.

 

Do you think there is anything happening that I don't know about? I do trust her fully, but I don't trust him. Last week she went over his house to talk to him, and he tried to do something and touch her, she left immediately. If I ever see him, I will hurt him, just because I know what he has put her through. I am not an angry person. Do you think it could have been all the confusion with moving that she did not call me soon, and that she was out late?

[yes]

I think you need to take a BIG step back.

 

It's only been a month.

 

Her ex must've been a big deal if he was about to propose engagement.

 

She has her mother dying from cancer.

 

Her sister n her husband she doesn't get along with but has to move in with now. A family friend she lived with...

 

thats a LOT for one poor girl!! give her a break... she's got SO much on her mind, you cannot and will not be a priority... and dont expect any emotional stability from her...

 

just relax, be supportive IF she needs you (more as a friend i guess)... and take it really slow. after a month, while it may seem perfect, u cant RLLY know the person.

 

thats my view

 

ive been too into in too fast before, and always got hurt...

 

best of luck

As I have stated in my previous message, my girlfriend was supposed to move. This is a girl that I have been seeing for a month now. We have a perfectly stable relationship on all levels. When I first met her, immediately I knew she was the one. Even on the first date, it was perfect. The date ended at about 5am, when we were at her house on the couch, with her in my arms sleeping. Ever since then, things have grown into a full relationship, g/f b/f status. After the first date however, her ex came back from the military, and she said that he thought he was with her. She thought about it for a week before he came back, after our date. He had done many mean things to her in the past and she stated that she was not attracted to him at all. She still wished to be friends with him though. After he came back, she told him that she was really leaving her. She later told me that he was planning on getting engaged to her on valentine's day, but he now returned the ring. Her and I continued to date throughout this month. Friday, 2 days ago, she told me that she had to move and that it was so sudden. She had to move by Tuesday. The person that she lives with is a family friend and he had to move so she had to go with him (he's like a grandfather to her). She did not want to move at all. I was supposed to see her Saturday, but she said she wanted to see her family and asked if I understood, I said yes, and she did. I asked her out tonight, Sunday, and she said yes (asked in the morning). She said she had to go somewhere in the day, but she'd be back at 5. She never came back until 9:30 tonight. She called me and told me that she is not moving now, that she will go live with her mother. She said she was there, at home, with Brian right now (her ex), and that they just got home. This quite puzzles me, I know they should just be friends. She did not see me tonight, and I could not see her. She now is packing because she has to move out tomorrow to get to her mom's house. I'm a little worried as to why I am not with her and he is... why.... I keep asking myself this, why would she have him there? I know that she does not like him in that way anymore, but I also know that he is controlling, she has told me this. I told her that I would never come over if he was there, because it would be very strange. I hate this guy from what she has said about him, how he used to treat her. I'm sure it would be a physical confrontation if I went there, and I'm sure he would start it. He may be from the military, but I'm a foot taller than him, and I played triple A Ice hockey for 7 years. I would never want to even been seen by him. Why would she be with him right now? I realize many times that he goes over, they cannot get him out because he doesn't leave. Do you think there is anything happening that I don't know about? I do trust her fully, but I don't trust him. Last week she went over his house to talk to him, and he tried to do something and touch her, she left immediately. If I ever see him, I will hurt him, just because I know what he has put her through. I am not an angry person. Do you think it could have been all the confusion with moving that she did not call me soon, and that she was out late?

[Bill]

Actually he was not with her that long. She said she could never see a future with him. He is 22 and still lives with his parents because he had no plans for the future. He proposed because he wanted to keep her.

 

As for her sister and her sister's husband, they are moving out of her mother's house in a month. The family friend that she lived with she did not really like (mainly because he acted weird around her sister, was hitting on her sister), but she had to be nice to live there.

 

I am happy now that she will be with her mother. I have been told that "I really don't know her yet" by a few people. I intend to try to take it slower and let her settle in with her mom right now.

 

I mean, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that we both have stuff going on in our lives right now. I just got back to college and i'm really busy, but I make time for her. I think I will wait till she moves back in with her mom, before I see her again. Possibly I might offer to help move stuff, because she doesn't have her car.

 

I really love her, and I would never want to lose her. I will do anything that is best.

I think you need to take a BIG step back.

 

It's only been a month. Her ex must've been a big deal if he was about to propose engagement. She has her mother dying from cancer. Her sister n her husband she doesn't get along with but has to move in with now. A family friend she lived with... thats a LOT for one poor girl!! give her a break... she's got SO much on her mind, you cannot and will not be a priority... and dont expect any emotional stability from her... just relax, be supportive IF she needs you (more as a friend i guess)... and take it really slow. after a month, while it may seem perfect, u cant RLLY know the person. thats my view ive been too into in too fast before, and always got hurt... best of luck

[Bill]

As I see that someone above is using the name "anon" which is too common I will switch to "mrbill"

Actually he was not with her that long. She said she could never see a future with him. He is 22 and still lives with his parents because he had no plans for the future. He proposed because he wanted to keep her. As for her sister and her sister's husband, they are moving out of her mother's house in a month. The family friend that she lived with she did not really like (mainly because he acted weird around her sister, was hitting on her sister), but she had to be nice to live there. I am happy now that she will be with her mother. I have been told that "I really don't know her yet" by a few people. I intend to try to take it slower and let her settle in with her mom right now. I mean, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that we both have stuff going on in our lives right now. I just got back to college and i'm really busy, but I make time for her. I think I will wait till she moves back in with her mom, before I see her again. Possibly I might offer to help move stuff, because she doesn't have her car. I really love her, and I would never want to lose her. I will do anything that is best.

 

[Bill]

I posted about a week ago that my girlfriend was moving back in with her mom and her sister(and her sister's husband) [Monday last week]. We made plans to see each other that Friday, and we did, but we had little contact over the week, except for emails. Friday was great and we both had fun, she seemed very happy. I returned her home Friday night and I asked when could I see her again. She said she'd call and maybe we could see each other Monday. It is now Tuesday,... I called her tonight, after I could not contact her from Friday night on to now. I got a hold of her and she stated that she was "packing up". She said that she would call later tonight. I asked if she wanted to go out, she said sorry.. that she had something to do. She doesn't goto school and she doesn't have a job. I am rather confused here as I am in college carrying a lot of credits and I seem to have more time to contact her. I know she does not get along with her sister's husband AT ALL. Do you think she would not contact me that long for a good reason? I sort of expected her to atleast call. I would not expect her to email since I knew her computer was not hooked up. What is a possibility of what is going on here?

[velvet]

Why is she packing again? If she is moving around from one place to another, than I imagine shes busy.

 

But, hold off on the phone calls. You both had fun Friday, you said you would be in touch. Dont let a few days frighten you. I would give it a week or two to call. If she doesnt, than a week or two is enough time for her to take care of her business, and relax long enough to think about you. Than I would say its safe to call her again.

 

Good luck

I posted about a week ago that my girlfriend was moving back in with her mom and her sister(and her sister's husband) [Monday last week]. We made plans to see each other that Friday, and we did, but we had little contact over the week, except for emails. Friday was great and we both had fun, she seemed very happy. I returned her home Friday night and I asked when could I see her again. She said she'd call and maybe we could see each other Monday. It is now Tuesday,... I called her tonight, after I could not contact her from Friday night on to now. I got a hold of her and she stated that she was "packing up". She said that she would call later tonight. I asked if she wanted to go out, she said sorry.. that she had something to do. She doesn't goto school and she doesn't have a job. I am rather confused here as I am in college carrying a lot of credits and I seem to have more time to contact her. I know she does not get along with her sister's husband AT ALL. Do you think she would not contact me that long for a good reason? I sort of expected her to atleast call. I would not expect her to email since I knew her computer was not hooked up. What is a possibility of what is going on here?

[Bill]

She didn't call .

 

Now I am wondering if I did anything wrong...

 

It would not see that way because she was happy when we were out. I'm stressed out over this, I have no idea what is going on.

 

I've also been told by a lot of people to stop being "the nice guy". I showered my past girlfriend with gifts and kindness, and she cheated on me and dumped me when I found out that she cheated for the 4th time. But, I really cannot stop doing this, I just want to be nice to this new girl. She is very nice to me, so I believe she deserves it back. I am just very worried right now because I have not talked to her in a while. I don't even know if I'm going to see her again . I worry about this.

Why is she packing again? If she is moving around from one place to another, than I imagine shes busy. But, hold off on the phone calls. You both had fun Friday, you said you would be in touch. Dont let a few days frighten you. I would give it a week or two to call. If she doesnt, than a week or two is enough time for her to take care of her business, and relax long enough to think about you. Than I would say its safe to call her again. Good luck

[arthropod98]

there's nothing that anyone can say to keep you from worrying, or to keep those "thoughts" out of your head. simple fact is, there's really not much you can do here. what you really should TRY and do though is keep yourself from trying to figure out what YOU did wrong! i mean, from what i read, you did NOTHING wrong. if she's got things to figure out or whatever, then that's what she needs to do. you've made attempts to contact her, and that says something about the way you feel, but there's just not much ELSE you can do. so, keep yourself busy there at school, and try as much as possible to not beat yourself up over this . . . believe me, i KNOW it's hard, but i really think that's what you need to do here!! best of luck!!!

She didn't call . Now I am wondering if I did anything wrong...

 

It would not see that way because she was happy when we were out. I'm stressed out over this, I have no idea what is going on. I've also been told by a lot of people to stop being "the nice guy". I showered my past girlfriend with gifts and kindness, and she cheated on me and dumped me when I found out that she cheated for the 4th time. But, I really cannot stop doing this, I just want to be nice to this new girl. She is very nice to me, so I believe she deserves it back. I am just very worried right now because I have not talked to her in a while. I don't even know if I'm going to see her again . I worry about this.

[Bill]

I talked to her online today, I am assuming she is at a friend of the family's house. I asked her what she was doing tonight and she said "nothing", "but I think I want to stay here". I am totally not sure what is going on now, if she is too busy or what is going on. I asked her if she was mad at me for any reason and she said " nono I am not mad", "I like my distance". Possibly have have I been weirding her out by trying ................................................

 

Hrm.. BEEP.. Just got an IM from her in the middle of typing that.

 

She says "I just want to let you know that I am free on friday if that is ok"

 

I quickly replied that I am absolutely free. She even ended the conversation with "I love you".

 

It's weird, we cannot "read" each other, we don't know at ALL what each other is thinking when we are together. Well me, I just have no facial expressions at all, or mixed up ones are just strange. She, well, she can only be focused on one thing at a time. Maybe this is why she hasn't contacted me, because she needs to rest. And why I didn't see this before is beyond me. Maybe her moving in the past few days has caused a lot of stress, and I know she can only focus on one thing at a time. This is a good thing though, because I try to focus on everyone at once and sometimes mess things up because of it. I'd really like to know what she is thinking. She has told me in the past that she doesn't say "I love you" unless she really means it. I am quite confused at trying to read her. I'm in school for rocket science, but that doesn't help here, not even a rocket scientist can do this. Experience in matters like this is all that counts; can anyone shed some light on this matter for me?

 

Friday we planned to go out for dinner (somewhere nice), then to go to a nice place, either outside or whatever, to take pictures with my new digital camera that I got. I have no pictures of her yet. As soon as I get a picture of her, it's going on my background on my computer.

 

there's nothing that anyone can say to keep you from worrying, or to keep those "thoughts" out of your head. simple fact is, there's really not much you can do here. what you really should TRY and do though is keep yourself from trying to figure out what YOU did wrong! i mean, from what i read, you did NOTHING wrong. if she's got things to figure out or whatever, then that's what she needs to do. you've made attempts to contact her, and that says something about the way you feel, but there's just not much ELSE you can do. so, keep yourself busy there at school, and try as much as possible to not beat yourself up over this . . . believe me, i KNOW it's hard, but i really think that's what you need to do here!! best of luck!!!