moving

[clia]

You say "I have no pictures of her yet. As soon as I get a picture of her, it's going on my background on my computer."

 

Yuck. Do what you want in the privacy of your own home, but do not let her see that you have her on the background of your computer until you are either engaged or married. That kind of thing has a tendency to turn girls off. We tend to like a challenge, too. Maybe you shouldn't be so available to her. If she IMs you, don't respond immediately. Same goes for e-mail and phone calls. Seems like she knows that whenever she's ready you'll jump. Trust me, being like that is not attractive to girls. She needs to know that you have a life, too, a life that does not revolve around her. Be careful here.

[Bill]

She will not see that on my computer. That is for me. Thank you for the "Yuck" but no thanks. I may have to agree with the part about not jumping immediately, or by sounding like I have more things to do than I really do.

You say "I have no pictures of her yet. As soon as I get a picture of her, it's going on my background on my computer." Yuck. Do what you want in the privacy of your own home, but do not let her see that you have her on the background of your computer until you are either engaged or married. That kind of thing has a tendency to turn girls off. We tend to like a challenge, too. Maybe you shouldn't be so available to her. If she IMs you, don't respond immediately. Same goes for e-mail and phone calls. Seems like she knows that whenever she's ready you'll jump. Trust me, being like that is not attractive to girls. She needs to know that you have a life, too, a life that does not revolve around her. Be careful here.

[arthropod98]

still say you need to just give her some space here. sure, you can respond to her, but i don't think i'd be initiating any contact . . . you'll start to feel pathetic if you keep doing that.

 

personally, a written "i love you" in an IM isn't very meaningful -- those are words to be spoken! i really don't get why she would throw that one on you.

 

bottom line is, you need to just give her some space here. it's obvious that she's confused and going through some issues. you can be there for her, but do NOT chase her all around!!

I posted about a week ago that my girlfriend was moving back in with her mom and her sister(and her sister's husband) [Monday last week]. We made plans to see each other that Friday, and we did, but we had little contact over the week, except for emails. Friday was great and we both had fun, she seemed very happy. I returned her home Friday night and I asked when could I see her again. She said she'd call and maybe we could see each other Monday. It is now Tuesday,... I called her tonight, after I could not contact her from Friday night on to now. I got a hold of her and she stated that she was "packing up". She said that she would call later tonight. I asked if she wanted to go out, she said sorry.. that she had something to do. She doesn't goto school and she doesn't have a job. I am rather confused here as I am in college carrying a lot of credits and I seem to have more time to contact her. I know she does not get along with her sister's husband AT ALL. Do you think she would not contact me that long for a good reason? I sort of expected her to atleast call. I would not expect her to email since I knew her computer was not hooked up. What is a possibility of what is going on here?

[Bill]

My girlfriend of 1 month now has told me that she would be going out with me tomorrow at 8pm. Then she said this, "plus we have to talk about some things". As I have seen nothing wrong in our relationship I am very confused. She then said "don't get sad or happy or confused or anything like that, i just want to talk about some things that are important to me; who what...ect; I hope you will listen and understand". This is SO confusing to me. I have heard things like this before, and they were not good. As I have posted in my previous thread, I cannot at all read her thoughts. I have no idea what she is referring to. This truly scares me. I sure hope that she is not referring to leaving me. In mid December my ex, who I was with for 2.5 years left me in the worst way, by cheating on me many times. I do not wish to lose another. I like this girl more than I ever liked my ex, we have so much in common. Can anyone possibly think of what she might be referring to? I am so worried. If that happens, I give up.

[velvet]

You will know tomorrow night. It can be anything. And don't give up. Every individual is differnt. Dont focus on the negative of tomorrow night. Be cool & good luck!

 

My girlfriend of 1 month now has told me that she would be going out with me tomorrow at 8pm. Then she said this, "plus we have to talk about some things". As I have seen nothing wrong in our relationship I am very confused. She then said "don't get sad or happy or confused or anything like that, i just want to talk about some things that are important to me; who what...ect; I hope you will listen and understand". This is SO confusing to me. I have heard things like this before, and they were not good. As I have posted in my previous thread, I cannot at all read her thoughts. I have no idea what she is referring to. This truly scares me. I sure hope that she is not referring to leaving me. In mid December my ex, who I was with for 2.5 years left me in the worst way, by cheating on me many times. I do not wish to lose another. I like this girl more than I ever liked my ex, we have so much in common. Can anyone possibly think of what she might be referring to? I am so worried. If that happens, I give up.

[Bill]

I hate my life. It is worrying me so much as to what she could tell me tomorrow night. I can almost hear it in my head "My life is really busy right now, so I cannot be tied down with a boyfriend". She is not extremely busy though, but I feel that is what is going to happen, just because I expect the worse. I do hope though, that is not the case. I seem to have the worst possible things happen to me, and the oddest of them. Has anyone been HUNG before? I was, almost broke my neck. I am just so down about everything right now. I don't think I can take a rejection again. This girl told me last night that she loves me, but when I read that message over and over again it looks as if she is going to leave me. Life is getting complicated, I don't even know what I want to do anymore. I know that I do truly love her. I wish something would go right in my life. I wish I could stay with her. I wish that is not what is going on. However, I will listen to what she has to say, and respect anything she says. I can only hope now that my perception of this situation is wrong.

 

Please help.

You will know tomorrow night. It can be anything. And don't give up. Every individual is differnt. Dont focus on the negative of tomorrow night. Be cool & good luck!

[yes]

Bill...... i know it happens sometimes that u feel like everything's falling apart. I just felt like it last night... But it's not the end of the world. It gets better.

 

I dont believe u can LOVE someone after just a month... it's more like u'r very afraid of another rejection. same with me - i am having a very hard time accepting that i have no choice but to get rejected sometimes. try to relax a bit ..... even if she breaks up w/ u, its not the end of the world... i know its hard but we gotta cool down and stop taking life so seriously..... easy said, i know ... but hey - im doing my best here, and so should u.

 

no human in the world can make u happy - it's only u. even if u think - if only she LOVED me - i'd be happy. but u wont be ... u'll be worried about her cheating, about caring about her more than she cares about u, about this n that ...

 

you just gotta care a bit less about what others do ... dont let yourself fall into depending on their actions ...

 

believe me, i know EXACTLY how u feel ...... been there... it gets better ... just stay cool, maybe meditate...

 

-yes

I hate my life. It is worrying me so much as to what she could tell me tomorrow night. I can almost hear it in my head "My life is really busy right now, so I cannot be tied down with a boyfriend". She is not extremely busy though, but I feel that is what is going to happen, just because I expect the worse. I do hope though, that is not the case. I seem to have the worst possible things happen to me, and the oddest of them. Has anyone been HUNG before? I was, almost broke my neck. I am just so down about everything right now. I don't think I can take a rejection again. This girl told me last night that she loves me, but when I read that message over and over again it looks as if she is going to leave me. Life is getting complicated, I don't even know what I want to do anymore. I know that I do truly love her. I wish something would go right in my life. I wish I could stay with her. I wish that is not what is going on. However, I will listen to what she has to say, and respect anything she says. I can only hope now that my perception of this situation is wrong. Please help.

[Gweedo]

A couple of items are confusing. The fact that you seem to have attached yourself to this girl after one month even moreso than your ex of two and a half years. Understandable, if this new girl is SO much better than the ex, but then why were you with your ex for so long? Maybe you should slow down a little with this new girl. And not get so incredibly serious after only a month. Then you wouldn't be so stressed out like you are now. And are you sure you both are in love? Take a little more time to get to know her; that's my advice. And trust me: Trying to understand how a woman's mind operates will surely drive you insane.

My girlfriend of 1 month now has told me that she would be going out with me tomorrow at 8pm. Then she said this, "plus we have to talk about some things". As I have seen nothing wrong in our relationship I am very confused. She then said "don't get sad or happy or confused or anything like that, i just want to talk about some things that are important to me; who what...ect; I hope you will listen and understand". This is SO confusing to me. I have heard things like this before, and they were not good. As I have posted in my previous thread, I cannot at all read her thoughts. I have no idea what she is referring to. This truly scares me. I sure hope that she is not referring to leaving me. In mid December my ex, who I was with for 2.5 years left me in the worst way, by cheating on me many times. I do not wish to lose another. I like this girl more than I ever liked my ex, we have so much in common. Can anyone possibly think of what she might be referring to? I am so worried. If that happens, I give up.

[Bill]

Well I just spoke to a friend that basically knows our whole story, from what I've told her anyway. She told me that "maybe thats all she has to tell you is that she loves you; and shes havin problems and she wants you to stick by her; im sure it is nothing bad; she appreciates you, can't you tell"

 

I do believe that I love her, even after one month. Yes, I have had a past relationship, and no I did not love my past partner in one month. This girl is quite different from my ex, we actually have more than one thing in common, way more than one thing.

 

It's going to take a lot to put me to sleep tonight, as I plan to take this whole thing of nightquil. I need something to put me out, I do not want it to be like last night... waking up scared.. but for a reason I don't know. I woke up about 5 different times. I have been known to sleep walk and talk in my sleep. I fear what is to come, but I sure hope my friend is right.

 

To know that she gave me a chance is a lot, to know that she loved me is a lot, to know that our relationship might end scares me a lot. I can only hope.

 

My problems might seem insignificant to some, but everything will change tomorrow if that changes. I will be moving away, forever, if that happens. I do not know if I will be able to take that emotionally. If it does not happen, I will be there, and will be with her.

 

Sincerely,

 

Bill

Bill...... i know it happens sometimes that u feel like everything's falling apart. I just felt like it last night... But it's not the end of the world. It gets better. I dont believe u can LOVE someone after just a month... it's more like u'r very afraid of another rejection. same with me - i am having a very hard time accepting that i have no choice but to get rejected sometimes. try to relax a bit ..... even if she breaks up w/ u, its not the end of the world... i know its hard but we gotta cool down and stop taking life so seriously..... easy said, i know ... but hey - im doing my best here, and so should u. no human in the world can make u happy - it's only u. even if u think - if only she LOVED me - i'd be happy. but u wont be ... u'll be worried about her cheating, about caring about her more than she cares about u, about this n that ...

 

you just gotta care a bit less about what others do ... dont let yourself fall into depending on their actions ... believe me, i know EXACTLY how u feel ...... been there... it gets better ... just stay cool, maybe meditate... -yes

[Bill]

I was totally blind with my ex, who was my first girlfriend. I let her get away many times with doing horrible things. I don't know why me and this girl hit it off, even on the first date she was sleeping in my arms. I do not mess with something that "just happened". I am stressed out because we are so similar, and it would be a terrible thing to lose. But we are slowing it down, as I have not seen her for a week or more. I was letting her get moved in to her new place and all. She has a lot of time to relax and think. I would not call to bother her or anything, I don't email like I used to.

 

Everything seems fine though, I just sure hope that she is staying with me.

A couple of items are confusing. The fact that you seem to have attached yourself to this girl after one month even moreso than your ex of two and a half years. Understandable, if this new girl is SO much better than the ex, but then why were you with your ex for so long? Maybe you should slow down a little with this new girl. And not get so incredibly serious after only a month. Then you wouldn't be so stressed out like you are now. And are you sure you both are in love? Take a little more time to get to know her; that's my advice. And trust me: Trying to understand how a woman's mind operates will surely drive you insane.

[Bill]

Depending on what my girlfriend says tonight... the results will surely change my life. Although my friends say it cannot be anything negative, and that this girl really likes me, I am still fearing what she has to say. She told me last night that she had to "talk" to me. She told me this again today on the phone, she said it was something she should not talk about over the phone or on an instant messenger. She said she wanted to talk about things that are important to her. Our relationship has been perfect so far. She is having problems with her brother-in-law, which is preventing her from moving in with her mom, for about another week. I do not see anything wrong, but maybe she finds something wrong? She was so happy to be around me, that is why a "talk" is confusing.

 

1. If it's negative: ie. "leaving me"

 

I'm moving away. I'm sacraficing school issues right now while being at this satellite campus that I'm at right now. I will move all the way to the main campus and live there (and not come back). At the end of college, I will move again. I was only down here for the reason that my ex lived so close and I planned to goto the satellite campus then, instead of the main campus. I was planning to move, but then I met this girl.

 

2. If it's positive : ie. "she wants me to help her with something"

 

I'll do anything I can to help. Also, I would stay at the satellite campus and go through the long process of getting the classes I need here. I do love her.

 

--- I am just unsure of what she could have to talk about.

[clia]

Well, you aren't going to know until you talk to her tonight, so please try to stop worrying about it. Honestly, it could be anything.

 

I'm a little curious, though, because you said "Our relationship has been perfect so far", yet you've been posting here like crazy about the problems you've been having. If everything was so perfect, it's doubtful you'd be asking for advice. Don't kid yourself. If you "really" thought everything was perfect, you wouldn't be worrying yourself sick about what she has to talk to you about tonight.

 

Also, please, please, please do not make a school decision based on anyone else, unless you are married to them. This goes for where you go to school, where you live while at school, and what to major in. You need to do what is best for you, not stick around some satellite campus for a girl. You will miss out on the joys of college life while you are pining after this girl. I know you probably won't listen to this, and if all of this works out it may not matter, but if it doesn't, you just might look back someday and regret not doing what was right for YOU and basing your decision on someone else. Being on main campus is a wonderful part of college life.

 

I think it's great that you "love" her after a month, but that sounds a little crazy. You may have deep feelings for her, but love? And you're willing to sacrifice your entire future for her already and make things more difficult for yourself? That's very noble, but is she also willing to do the same for you? Does she feel the love that you feel? I'd just hate to see you make a decision you'll regret later. Please don't base a major life decision on a girl you've been dating for ONE month. If I was dating a guy who did that, I would honestly think he was nuts. It would be flattering, but I'd still think he had a few screws loose.

Depending on what my girlfriend says tonight... the results will surely change my life. Although my friends say it cannot be anything negative, and that this girl really likes me, I am still fearing what she has to say. She told me last night that she had to "talk" to me. She told me this again today on the phone, she said it was something she should not talk about over the phone or on an instant messenger. She said she wanted to talk about things that are important to her. Our relationship has been perfect so far. She is having problems with her brother-in-law, which is preventing her from moving in with her mom, for about another week. I do not see anything wrong, but maybe she finds something wrong? She was so happy to be around me, that is why a "talk" is confusing. 1. If it's negative: ie. "leaving me"

 

I'm moving away. I'm sacraficing school issues right now while being at this satellite campus that I'm at right now. I will move all the way to the main campus and live there (and not come back). At the end of college, I will move again. I was only down here for the reason that my ex lived so close and I planned to goto the satellite campus then, instead of the main campus. I was planning to move, but then I met this girl. 2. If it's positive : ie. "she wants me to help her with something" I'll do anything I can to help. Also, I would stay at the satellite campus and go through the long process of getting the classes I need here. I do love her. --- I am just unsure of what she could have to talk about.

[Bill]

No no no, we don't have any problems. The problems are not between us, she just has problems with certain members of hre family and where she is living. Our relationship thus far has been perfect. I just worry a lot, especially when I heard the phrase "we need to talk about some things". From my past relationship this always meant something bad. I've been told by a lot of people that I should not have based my school decision on my ex, but I did, it was a big mistake. I'm telling you everything there is to tell, I am just worried when she says that we need to talk about some things. I realize that I wont know until tonight about all this, and that is what drives me insane. It's because I like her so much and that I enjoy being around her, that I am scared to lose her if something else in her life is giving her problems. Thank you for your advice on the schooling thing though. I know I am missing out on a lot. I'm not the social type though. This was the first girl that I set to meet by myself, and I did meet her. My ex I met through someone. Both campuses have their benefits though. This one is much cheaper, and if I go here next year I will have a full scholarship with books and everything paid for. The classes would have to be somehow made at this campus though, the classes I need. The class sizes are very small here though, like 5 people in my Calculus 4 class. Maybe I am worrying myself too much.

Well, you aren't going to know until you talk to her tonight, so please try to stop worrying about it. Honestly, it could be anything. I'm a little curious, though, because you said "Our relationship has been perfect so far", yet you've been posting here like crazy about the problems you've been having. If everything was so perfect, it's doubtful you'd be asking for advice. Don't kid yourself. If you "really" thought everything was perfect, you wouldn't be worrying yourself sick about what she has to talk to you about tonight. Also, please, please, please do not make a school decision based on anyone else, unless you are married to them. This goes for where you go to school, where you live while at school, and what to major in. You need to do what is best for you, not stick around some satellite campus for a girl. You will miss out on the joys of college life while you are pining after this girl. I know you probably won't listen to this, and if all of this works out it may not matter, but if it doesn't, you just might look back someday and regret not doing what was right for YOU and basing your decision on someone else. Being on main campus is a wonderful part of college life. I think it's great that you "love" her after a month, but that sounds a little crazy. You may have deep feelings for her, but love? And you're willing to sacrifice your entire future for her already and make things more difficult for yourself? That's very noble, but is she also willing to do the same for you? Does she feel the love that you feel? I'd just hate to see you make a decision you'll regret later. Please don't base a major life decision on a girl you've been dating for ONE month. If I was dating a guy who did that, I would honestly think he was nuts. It would be flattering, but I'd still think he had a few screws loose.

[Bill]

I am happy that I am going to be seeing her, but sad that I don't know what she's gonna say.

Depending on what my girlfriend says tonight... the results will surely change my life. Although my friends say it cannot be anything negative, and that this girl really likes me, I am still fearing what she has to say. She told me last night that she had to "talk" to me. She told me this again today on the phone, she said it was something she should not talk about over the phone or on an instant messenger. She said she wanted to talk about things that are important to her. Our relationship has been perfect so far. She is having problems with her brother-in-law, which is preventing her from moving in with her mom, for about another week. I do not see anything wrong, but maybe she finds something wrong? She was so happy to be around me, that is why a "talk" is confusing. 1. If it's negative: ie. "leaving me"

 

I'm moving away. I'm sacraficing school issues right now while being at this satellite campus that I'm at right now. I will move all the way to the main campus and live there (and not come back). At the end of college, I will move again. I was only down here for the reason that my ex lived so close and I planned to goto the satellite campus then, instead of the main campus. I was planning to move, but then I met this girl. 2. If it's positive : ie. "she wants me to help her with something" I'll do anything I can to help. Also, I would stay at the satellite campus and go through the long process of getting the classes I need here. I do love her. --- I am just unsure of what she could have to talk about.

[Bill]

nope, date was canceled. She was running late with her friends that she was going out with tonight. They just went out now, were supposed to go at 5. No time now.

I am happy that I am going to be seeing her, but sad that I don't know what she's gonna say.

 

[clia]

May I point out how rude it is to cancel a date at the last minute? Excuses don't apply unless it's a dire emergency. Why did she plan to go out with friends before you if you had a date? That makes no sense to me at all. I'll tell you what, from what you've posted about this girl, she doesn't seem too considerate of your time or feelings. But, I guess it's okay if you love her anyway. Don't you think you deserve to be treated better?

nope, date was canceled. She was running late with her friends that she was going out with tonight. They just went out now, were supposed to go at 5. No time now.

[Bill]

I would have to agree with you on this. She has done this before, cancelled. It's time for me not to call anymore. I will not message her or anything. What is weird is, about Wednesday, she told me she was free Friday. Then she said last night that she would see me about 8 Friday because she was going out with her friends before our date. Now she cancelled it at about 7:30, because her and her friends were waiting for someone and they still hadn't gone out yet. I will probably have to mention this to her, how she has canceled on me so much.

 

Sorry, I'm just so used to being cancelled on by everyone that I never take this into account. It is really hard switching around my plans though. eh.

May I point out how rude it is to cancel a date at the last minute? Excuses don't apply unless it's a dire emergency. Why did she plan to go out with friends before you if you had a date? That makes no sense to me at all. I'll tell you what, from what you've posted about this girl, she doesn't seem too considerate of your time or feelings. But, I guess it's okay if you love her anyway. Don't you think you deserve to be treated better?

[clia]

Of course it's hard to switch around your plans! That's why it's rude for people to cancel on you at the last minute. And for her to cancel 1/2 an hour before you were supposed to get together is even worse. Seriously, she gave you no notice at all, nor any opportunity to make other plans. You seriously can't keep putting up with this. The reason people cancel on you all the time is because you let them. If you make it clear that you think it's inconsiderate, they will not do it again.

 

And let's see here...as of Wednesday she was free, so she made plans with you. Then she proceeded to make plans with her friends also. I'm sorry, and I know this probably hurts you, but that is not cool at all. She should've been cancelling on her friends tonight if they couldn't get their act together and go out when they were supposed to, not you. But she chose to cancel on you. What does that tell you? (I'm sorry, I know this is painful for you, but I hate it when people are inconsiderate and take advantage of other people. Please don't let her do that to you!)

 

And I implore you, don't call her, e-mail her, or IM her. You need to let her know that what she did was extremely rude. People who care about you don't treat you like that. They call when their supposed to call, and go out with you when you make plans. Obviously what she had to talk to you about wasn't bothering her that much, or she would've gone out with you to have the talk.

I would have to agree with you on this. She has done this before, cancelled. It's time for me not to call anymore. I will not message her or anything. What is weird is, about Wednesday, she told me she was free Friday. Then she said last night that she would see me about 8 Friday because she was going out with her friends before our date. Now she cancelled it at about 7:30, because her and her friends were waiting for someone and they still hadn't gone out yet. I will probably have to mention this to her, how she has canceled on me so much. Sorry, I'm just so used to being cancelled on by everyone that I never take this into account. It is really hard switching around my plans though. eh.

[Tony T]

People do what is most important to them. She obviously considers keeping her plans with her friends more important than keeping her plans with you.

 

This has got to be a hint about what she plans to talk to you about.

 

Whatever she has to say, you take control of the situation. No matter what she says, good or bad, keep your wits about you.

 

I wouldn't awfulize at this point about what she may have to talk to you about. But if you're used to people dumping on you, then I wouldn't expect this talk to have any pleasant surprises.

 

You need to get a grip on this relationship and start setting the pace and taking the lead. That's what women want. If the guy is a passive wimp, the lady will have no respect for that.

[Tony T]

YOU WRITE: "2. If it's positive : ie. "she wants

me to help her with something" I'll do anything I can to help. Also, I would stay at the satellite campus and go through the long process of getting the classes I need here. I do love her."

So what you are saying is that it would be positive if she announces she wants to use you in some what. That's really so very sad. How did your self esteem get to ZERO?

 

If that's the most positive thing you can anticipate from a talk with your lady...her asking for some kind of help...you're with the WRONG gal, dude!!!

 

What is it you love about her? The way she cancels on you...the way you have no idea where you stand...the way she uses you...the way she puts friends before you???

 

EEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!

[Bill]

What would be the best way to approach her about this issue? She is supposed to call me tonight, I just need to tell her this somehow. I want to bring it up without trying to sound rude about it.

YOU WRITE: "2. If it's positive : ie. "she wants So what you are saying is that it would be positive if she announces she wants to use you in some what. That's really so very sad. How did your self esteem get to ZERO? If that's the most positive thing you can anticipate from a talk with your lady...her asking for some kind of help...you're with the WRONG gal, dude!!! What is it you love about her? The way she cancels on you...the way you have no idea where you stand...the way she uses you...the way she puts friends before you??? EEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!

[velvet]

Nope, she doesnt sound like good company to me. If she ends up calling you just tell her you aint got that kind of time.

 

And after tonight you have made up your mind. CLICK!!!

 

She deserves it.

I would have to agree with you on this. She has done this before, cancelled. It's time for me not to call anymore. I will not message her or anything. What is weird is, about Wednesday, she told me she was free Friday. Then she said last night that she would see me about 8 Friday because she was going out with her friends before our date. Now she cancelled it at about 7:30, because her and her friends were waiting for someone and they still hadn't gone out yet. I will probably have to mention this to her, how she has canceled on me so much. Sorry, I'm just so used to being cancelled on by everyone that I never take this into account. It is really hard switching around my plans though. eh.

[Bill]

I agree with you totally. I will tell her tonight that what she did was wrong. How she made plans with me.. her exact words are as follows...

 

Her: I just want to let you know that I am free on friday if that is ok

 

Me: absolutely

 

Her: cool

 

Me:

 

Her: so have any ideas?

 

Her: for friday

 

Me: sure

 

Me well of course dinner

 

Her: it doesn't matter to me

 

Her: i guess just spending time together

 

------------------------------------------------------

 

She later told me in another chat that she was going to a place at 5 and would not be home till around 8, and then we'd go out. But as it turns out, we never did.

 

Thank you for your help thus far.

 

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Of course it's hard to switch around your plans! That's why it's rude for people to cancel on you at the last minute. And for her to cancel 1/2 an hour before you were supposed to get together is even worse. Seriously, she gave you no notice at all, nor any opportunity to make other plans. You seriously can't keep putting up with this. The reason people cancel on you all the time is because you let them. If you make it clear that you think it's inconsiderate, they will not do it again. And let's see here...as of Wednesday she was free, so she made plans with you. Then she proceeded to make plans with her friends also. I'm sorry, and I know this probably hurts you, but that is not cool at all. She should've been cancelling on her friends tonight if they couldn't get their act together and go out when they were supposed to, not you. But she chose to cancel on you. What does that tell you? (I'm sorry, I know this is painful for you, but I hate it when people are inconsiderate and take advantage of other people. Please don't let her do that to you!) And I implore you, don't call her, e-mail her, or IM her. You need to let her know that what she did was extremely rude. People who care about you don't treat you like that. They call when their supposed to call, and go out with you when you make plans. Obviously what she had to talk to you about wasn't bothering her that much, or she would've gone out with you to have the talk.

[clia]

Say "I found it extremely inconsiderate of you to cancel on me at the last minute. You really left me hanging, since you canceled only 1/2 an hour before we supposed to meet. Would it have killed you to let me know earlier? And why was I so easy to cancel on? Why did you not cancel on your friends, since technically, I was the person you made plans with first? What happened to the first come, first served rule?" etc... I think you have every right to sound rude, and if she doesn't understand why you're pissed, then you don't need her anyway.

 

Or, better yet, don't answer your phone when (and if) it rings, and let her think that you went out and weren't sitting home waiting for her call.

 

Actually, I'm beginning to think that the latter would be the better approach with this girl.

 

And when she asks you what you did, just slyly say, "Oh, I just went out for a little while," and change the topic immediately.

 

Bill, I hate to say it, but you need to be more of a challenge! She's walking all over you!

What would be the best way to approach her about this issue? She is supposed to call me tonight, I just need to tell her this somehow. I want to bring it up without trying to sound rude about it.

[Bill]

I think I will talk to her about it, and tell her that she made plans with me on a free day, then cancelled on me for plans she made with her friends. Obviously she thinks this is a "understanding" issue, but to me it is not anymore. She did make the plans with me and I will let her know that.

Say "I found it extremely inconsiderate of you to cancel on me at the last minute. You really left me hanging, since you canceled only 1/2 an hour before we supposed to meet. Would it have killed you to let me know earlier? And why was I so easy to cancel on? Why did you not cancel on your friends, since technically, I was the person you made plans with first? What happened to the first come, first served rule?" etc... I think you have every right to sound rude, and if she doesn't understand why you're pissed, then you don't need her anyway. Or, better yet, don't answer your phone when (and if) it rings, and let her think that you went out and weren't sitting home waiting for her call. Actually, I'm beginning to think that the latter would be the better approach with this girl. And when she asks you what you did, just slyly say, "Oh, I just went out for a little while," and change the topic immediately.

 

Bill, I hate to say it, but you need to be more of a challenge! She's walking all over you!