I'm TheWife-my story finally

[jonesgirly]

.

You sound very confident in your ability to move forward from this relationship. I admire that.

 

 

The 'banter' between you and your husband provided a more than interesting Saturday afternoon for me:

Quote:

Originally Posted by jonesgirly

I know its wrong, but I'm addicted to MotoMan and TheWife.

 

I feel like a voyeur.

 

I'm actually laughing at your response. He*l, if anything else, if we're a source of sick reality entertainment for folks during this weekend and make you all feel luckier, then it's all good... I think... LOL!

 

 

You really did provide the no-nonsense approach to life, and Loveshack would be a great place for you to offer up some 'words of wisdom' to others. This place is addictive, especially when you realize how a person ends up here to begin with - usually going through hell in their personal lives. The people are supportive and offer an 'outsiders view' on things that is almost always helpful. Sometimes just being able to tell your story helps - there's been many of my long, rambling posts that seriously opened my OWN eyes by the time I finished. Yep, I put my own pathetic self out there for the world to see, and they didn't even call me a weeny for it

 

I still can't help but feel that you and your H............well, nevermind. I know that you've both decided on an amicable split which is the best for all concerned. Besides, who knows what may happen in the future?

[LakesideDream]

Hey, Lakeside, you seem so righteous in your plain rightwing opinionated mind. If you didn't want to read life's drama, what the he*ll are you doing surfing on this site? Last time my H and I were in MC, I didn't see a fly on the wall. So you couldn't have known what was discussed, could you?

 

A couple of "facts":

 

1) If it weren't a real bullet, don't you think the officer would've known when she examined it closely that it wasn't a bullet and would have just left it with me?

 

2) My father was shot by a drunken man with a gun. If you were in my oooohhhhh "drama shoes" would you:

A) overreact and take precaution to save your life? OR

B) Undereact and not take action and be dead?

 

Pick ONE!

 

Grab your beer and your TV remote control and click on Nascar. I think it's on right now. It requires no thinking....really....just watch....

 

__________________________________________

 

 

The Wife, there you go. I'm sure your husband appreciated that type of diatribe. Obviously he put up with it a few months before finding someone else to lean on.

 

Sorry, not a "right winger", not that it would matter anyway. Politic's aren't the subject, unless of course you actually believe that everyone who's belief's don't coincide with yours is a "ignorant redneck". BTW, Never watched an hour of Nascar total in my life.

 

Me things you were overreacting a bit when you began attacking and name calling. Ah... it's all part of the Drama though isn't it?

 

Sorry about your father being shot "by a drunk" (the bullet wasn't aware of the shooters condition, it just followed instructions). I have been shot 3 times, no bowl of Cherrio's, it really smarts.

 

You are here posting, making your point, countering your husbands point (s) because you are competitive. You will do what it takes to be the winner. That's fine, especially if you consider your situation a competition. If you actually are interested in solutions to you and your husbands problems you should take of the head mask and gloves.

 

Whether it's trying to work out the problems, or getting divorced with the least acremony and hardship possible, it won't happen with both of you in Attack mode.

 

Does make entertaining reading though.

[TheWife]

__________________________________________

 

 

The Wife, there you go. I'm sure your husband appreciated that type of diatribe. Obviously he put up with it a few months before finding someone else to lean on.

 

Sorry, not a "right winger", not that it would matter anyway. Politic's aren't the subject, unless of course you actually believe that everyone who's belief's don't coincide with yours is a "ignorant redneck". BTW, Never watched an hour of Nascar total in my life.

 

Me things you were overreacting a bit when you began attacking and name calling. Ah... it's all part of the Drama though isn't it?

 

Sorry about your father being shot "by a drunk" (the bullet wasn't aware of the shooters condition, it just followed instructions). I have been shot 3 times, no bowl of Cherrio's, it really smarts.

 

You are here posting, making your point, countering your husbands point (s) because you are competitive. You will do what it takes to be the winner. That's fine, especially if you consider your situation a competition. If you actually are interested in solutions to you and your husbands problems you should take of the head mask and gloves.

 

Whether it's trying to work out the problems, or getting divorced with the least acremony and hardship possible, it won't happen with both of you in Attack mode.

 

Does make entertaining reading though.

Hey Lakeside, I like you. I don't like Cherios, but I like Nascar and I do like beer. My H & I just watched it for a few minutes in fact. It reminded me of you actually.

 

You also seem to have a competitve edge, I like that about you. But gee wheeze, why are you such a pessimist? Take a load off. You seem angry at the world? Were you scorned? Do you have SO? Married? Single? Or do you just have a computer to tinker with on a Saturday night? You still haven't answered my question and another poster, which is "what's your thread?" You are so busy telling people your rightwing opinion, yet we don't know much about you. So what makes you tick that causes you to be so angry?

 

By the way, who do you think wins in an affair?

[JamesM]

after reading both stories, I was at first baffled as to what may have happened. They always say that there are three stories...and here I believe it is true...there is her side, his side, and the truth.

 

When I came to the last few posts of TheWife, I began to see a different side of her peaking through as compared to the first posts. I can see a bit of where Moto is coming from.

 

I am not going to side with either one, but I can see that reconciliation is not happening. He shouldn't have cheated, but I am willing to guess that something in their relationship led him to such a point.

 

I am not sure what diference it makes when one is right or left in politics when it comes to giving advice.

[TheWife]

after reading both stories, I was at first baffled as to what may have happened. They always say that there are three stories...and here I believe it is true...there is her side, his side, and the truth.

 

When I came to the last few posts of TheWife, I began to see a different side of her peaking through as compared to the first posts. I can see a bit of where Moto is coming from.

 

I am not going to side with either one, but I can see that reconciliation is not happening. He shouldn't have cheated, but I am willing to guess that something in their relationship led him to such a point.

 

I am not sure what diference it makes when one is right or left in politics when it comes to giving advice.

 

Well, I guess I'm not done. Thanks for your reply. Let me summarize without the "drama".

 

1) H & I acknowledge we had a breakdown in our M. H knows as I have aknowledged in MC what my part is on the breakdown, such as in communication among other things. H & I acknowledge that H tends to generalize and I prefer specifics. Maybe this is a gender thing.

 

2) H& I acknowledged that we haven't come into terms on how we view his affair. H claims I didn't meet his emotional needs, hence the A. But, my EN were not met either. He thought he did, but he never asked what they were other then respect and courtesy which I view as one of the basic foundation in a M along with love.

 

3) H hasn't been willing to end the A although he said he did but lied. I was committed to rebuilding M.

 

4) Our upbringing, style of handling conflicts are opposite. H & I have acknowledge this. My family deals with the conflict as they arise. Each member takes part in helping solve the conflict. H family avoids conflicts and never brought up (swept under the carpet so to speak). In fact, H & I talked earlier today, (yes, I know it's strange considering what we posted so far) about this. I said, part of our problem in this area is that since what we do as adults are learned behavior, I carefully said (so as to not criticize because I understand this to be one of H's love language and change my approach...at least I try to anyway) that when people avoid conflicts, they never really learn the skills to resolve them. So when coflicts do arise, they do what comes natural which is to avoid. But the end result becomes compounded in a slew of resentment, anger, etc. Before you know it, bam! you forget why you got married in the first place. H acknowledged that this is something that he realized as a result of being with me and he knows now what he needs to do so that he can be a better person. For this, I'm glad.

 

5) H & I had certain expectations prior to and during M. This happens in every M. It was dissected at each MC. I expected H to let me know ahead of time if he plans anything with his friends or whatever it is that he wanted to do just so I don't go all out preparing dinner. H expected that he shouln't have to ask me if "it's okay" to go spend time w/his friend. I think anyone would agree if you approached that you have to ask, it would not be a joyful agreement, but a resentful one over time, which is how it turned out. I repeatedly told H that I didn't care if he spent time w/his friends because it meant I got to do anything I wanted by myself. I thought this was resolved. Apparently I was wrong. Because to this day, he still brings it up.

 

6) H assumes a lot. Me, in my assertive way, just tell me what it is so that I don't have to assume and react based on those assumptions because 9 out 10, my reaction will be wrong. This subject was also dissected in MC. H & I acknowledge that as our MC pointed out, we have developed the habit of "negative framing". All couples do especially when times are tough. H&I acknowledge the damage negative framing has done to our M. H claimed his friends and family don't like me because of how he negatively framed his views of me. I, as my H knows has acknowledged, my friends and family have never viewed him negatively at anytime during our M because I chose to not frame him negatively. As a result, H's friends never invited me to do things with them or as couples, BUT YET, my H & I did things together as couples with my friends. Even after D-day, my friends welcomed my H to their home to talk if he needed to. H's friends and family (with the exception of H's step-mom whom I adore) never once called to offer the same. Of course, now, my family and friends no longer view H positively.

 

H&I agree neither one regardless of the circumstances, want a nasty "war of the roses" divorce. I think that H&I will continue to care for one another. Neither one us has reached the point of hating each other. In fact, he brought home flowers yesterday because as he said, he knows that I like it when he does it. But, we also know and acknowledge that we are not meant to be married to one another because we have resigned to the fact that we are different. Very different. And we've also resigned to the fact that there is so much anger and resentment that our M is beyond repairable.

 

I think I wrote earlier on one of my replies on my thread that while there's a beauty in having two people who are vastly different could be a complemetary, sometimes the difference is too great to bridge that gap. H&I have already come to terms with this. Our differences are too different. And we are moving forward so that he can find whatever it is that he needs whether or not it's with the OW or someone new. I simply just need to move on.

[Ladyjane14]

How long until you can move into Plan B? ...Not geared toward recovery of course, since you have both decided to end the marriage, but rather as a means of acquiring emotional separation.

 

I can't imagine it's healthy having your STBXH up your butt all the time. In fact, if I 'walk a mile' I believe I'd find the endless litany of excuses quite grating by now.

 

You've done a fairly complete post mortem of the marriage. That's an important ingredient for "moving on", but it seems to me that it's well past time for somebody to pack a bag.

 

I'll be honest.... I'd be hard-pressed to be wringing my hands in mourning over a guy who couldn't even make it to the FIRST anniversary before dipping his wick outside the marriage.

[TheWife]

How long until you can move into Plan B? ...Not geared toward recovery of course, since you have both decided to end the marriage, but rather as a means of acquiring emotional separation.

 

I can't imagine it's healthy having your STBXH up your butt all the time. In fact, if I 'walk a mile' I believe I'd find the endless litany of excuses quite grating by now.

 

You've done a fairly complete post mortem of the marriage. That's an important ingredient for "moving on", but it seems to me that it's well past time for somebody to pack a bag.

 

I'll be honest.... I'd be hard-pressed to be wringing my hands in mourning over a guy who couldn't even make it to the FIRST anniversary before dipping his wick outside the marriage.

 

I like your no-nonsend come backs! You and I really do speak the same language.

 

I told H this mornig that I can't have him living here anymore. He said, he will move out next week.

[Ladyjane14]

I like your no-nonsend come backs! You and I really do speak the same language.

 

Yep.... right to the point.

 

I told H this mornig that I can't have him living here anymore. He said, he will move out next week.

 

I hope you'll make some plans of your own for next week then. Get out of the house, have some coffee with friends, get your nails done... whatever it takes.

 

Over at the divorce board, I've noticed that the ones who heal fastest, are the ones who CHOOSE it. They are proactive in their healing. Not to say that they don't go through all the steps of grief... but they also pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and get back out into the world. They take up a new hobby, look up old lost friends, and they take good care of themselves.... body and spirit.

[TheWife]

Yep.... right to the point.

 

 

 

I hope you'll make some plans of your own for next week then. Get out of the house, have some coffee with friends, get your nails done... whatever it takes.

 

Over at the divorce board, I've noticed that the ones who heal fastest, are the ones who CHOOSE it. They are proactive in their healing. Not to say that they don't go through all the steps of grief... but they also pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and get back out into the world. They take up a new hobby, look up old lost friends, and they take good care of themselves.... body and spirit.

 

Thanks LJ, started to do some of that. Heard from friends haven't heard in ages. As a matter of fact, I'm due for a pedicure! Next week will be perfectomundo! I've been putting off flying up to Portland OR to see one of my old friends who just bought a yacht. So I'll do do that. Looking forward to sailing along the coast to Canada with a few of his friends.

[NoIDidn't]

With no real time invested neither should be "fretting" about the "marriage" Moto is a cheat, instant, mama's boy cheat. I called him a "snake". Dispicable child, words are wasted on him.

 

The Wife is a dominant female, (nothing wrong with that) who has an inflated sense of drama and self worth. Going all a twitter over a "bullet shaped" cigar cutter (I have a similar one, they exist), justifying each of her actions without endorsing the possibility that she made bad choices or contributed to the relationsip failure. Also immature, not dishonest and despicable like Moto, but not laudable either.

 

It's time for them to move on, find people they fit with and try again. Wasting time with the blame game is senseless.

 

Lakeside, I agree with you mostly. Not sure why anyone took offense. I don't think you were insulting at all. Plus TW said it herself, she is not perfect and has her own issues like everyone else. They both just need someone more compatible for them.

[TheWife]

Lakeside' date=' I agree with you mostly. Not sure why anyone took offense. I don't think you were insulting at all. Plus TW said it herself, she is not perfect and has her own issues like everyone else. They both just need someone more compatible for them.[/quote']

I don't think anyone took offense. I like Lakeside. To some extent, I see myself in Lakeside that's why I responded similarly. Sorry Lakeside, if I've offended you.

 

And you are absolutely right. H & I need to be with someone different. I simply need to move on.

[JamesM]

As LadyJane said...

I'll be honest.... I'd be hard-pressed to be wringing my hands in mourning over a guy who couldn't even make it to the FIRST anniversary before dipping his wick outside the marriage.

 

That to me is why I could not see everything Moto's way. If this was after a few years...maybe five to ten...actually, no less than probably ten, then maybe I could understand his POV. But after being married over 15 and not always having it easy, I have a harder time understanding how someone can quit his commitment so easily and so early.

 

 

Yes, I waffled on these two threads quite a bit. Good thing I am not their MC!

[TheWife]

As LadyJane said...

 

 

That to me is why I could not see everything Moto's way. If this was after a few years...maybe five to ten...actually, no less than probably ten, then maybe I could understand his POV. But after being married over 15 and not always having it easy, I have a harder time understanding how someone can quit his commitment so easily and so early.

 

 

Yes, I waffled on these two threads quite a bit. Good thing I am not their MC!

 

OH, James, you have no idea! It was exhausting that I didn't want to be around H after! Never again! Or I should say, been there, done that, no more! Whewww!

[jonesgirly]

You are wise to cut your losses on this one now, and move on.

 

I think I admire you for your ability to actually DO that, when I have been unable to. Must be that I'm older, and less self-confident that you are.

 

Regardless of all the 'reasons' your H used to justify his affair, the real truth remains that it was a character flaw. You don't go have a LTA with someone without first trying to work on the marriage. End of story.

 

The fact that it continued, along with the lies and deceit, just puts him in the 'cheaters-club' for life. Nobody FORCES a spouse to have an affair. Nobody FORCES a spouse to lie.

 

And nobody FORCES a spouse to NOT make amends and try to salvage the marriage IF its important to them.

[jonesgirly]

Oh yeah, and I'm glad you decided to stick around.

[LakesideDream]

Lakeside' date=' I agree with you mostly. Not sure why anyone took offense. I don't think you were insulting at all. Plus TW said it herself, she is not perfect and has her own issues like everyone else. They both just need someone more compatible for them.[/quote']

 

 

I took no offense, this is a message board! As to being a pessimist, maybe. My first 50 years or so were dedicated to optomism.

 

As to the question "where's my thread", I didn't make one. My divorce happened over five years ago and is over with. In my various posts I have pretty much told the story piecemeal. If you are really curious I will try to condense it into a reasonable length novella, and post it here.

 

I discovered LS through a female friend (who posted) she reccomended it. I need to admit that LS is cathardic even at this late date.

 

I find many men's behavior reprehensible, and many ladies behavior incomprehensible. I'm learning a lot about the female psyche from their heartfelt posts. Hopefully I will have the oppertunity to apply the knowledge sometime in the future.

[TheWife]

I took no offense, this is a message board! As to being a pessimist, maybe. My first 50 years or so were dedicated to optomism.

 

As to the question "where's my thread", I didn't make one. My divorce happened over five years ago and is over with. In my various posts I have pretty much told the story piecemeal. If you are really curious I will try to condense it into a reasonable length novella, and post it here.

 

I discovered LS through a female friend (who posted) she reccomended it. I need to admit that LS is cathardic even at this late date.

 

I find many men's behavior reprehensible, and many ladies behavior incomprehensible. I'm learning a lot about the female psyche from their heartfelt posts. Hopefully I will have the oppertunity to apply the knowledge sometime in the future.

Sorry to hear you went through a D. You don't have to post your story. No sense in reliving any of it unless if it helps. I don't think men and women will ever come to understand each other any time soon. It's been this way for over 2000 years.

 

I'm usually not the type to post my life for the world to read. I have a hard enough time telling my friends and family what's going on. Only did it when read H's post and then it took a life of its own. Yesterday I decided I wasn't going to log on to LS anymore, primarily just to move on. But I was curious to see if you might respond. Glad that you did.

 

LS is and has been cathardic for me as well. But in a good way.

 

I knew there was a soft side in you, Lakeside. Glad it finally came out. Take care.

[LakesideDream]

The_Wife, glad I didn't dissapoint. Talking about my "life" and marriage doesen't hurt anymore. It's been long enough I think.

 

It wasn't always that way, even though I tried. Being an Alpha male, old soldier, and generally an all around "Butch" guy, it was important to keep up appearances around friends especially. I didn't fool anyone, but I kept my self esteem.

 

The "downstream" effects have not moderated however. I am not even slightly accepting or understanding when a woman lies to me, which has on occasion put a damper on my "dating life".

 

Things are good however. I have nothing in life to complain about, still have a dream or two, and life goes by at warp speed.

[TheWife]

The_Wife, glad I didn't dissapoint. Talking about my "life" and marriage doesen't hurt anymore. It's been long enough I think.

 

It wasn't always that way, even though I tried. Being an Alpha male, old soldier, and generally an all around "Butch" guy, it was important to keep up appearances around friends especially. I didn't fool anyone, but I kept my self esteem.

 

The "downstream" effects have not moderated however. I am not even slightly accepting or understanding when a woman lies to me, which has on occasion put a damper on my "dating life".

 

Things are good however. I have nothing in life to complain about, still have a dream or two, and life goes by at warp speed.

 

Understanding you better. We, women go through the same crap you men go through. We can't tell when you guys are lying or not. But the ONE thing we, men and women have in common is gut instincts. Intensity varies from how well you know the person and just having the natural ability to read people. Kinda like a psychic. And then there's the ability to read a liar's body language. The tough part is cracking those who live htheir lives lying and have been very succesfull in convincing everybody around them. Boy this is starting to sound familiar.

 

Part of it is maturity and integrity. Don't know. Age not a factor. I hear stories people giving wrong phone numbers rather than just being honest.

 

But take heart, Lakeside. While life might be short, try not go through it at warp speed. There's a lot you can miss which you might find that you never thought you would enjoy or someone you overlooked.

[LakesideDream]

I didn't say I enjoyed life whizzing by, just that I noticed it.

 

I was never any good at "catching" my ex in a lie. She got away with it for 24 years by just lying. I believed everything she said. I even believed it when she said:

 

"I was so young when I married you, you have done almost everything, I need space to find out if I can do it myself". Yea Right!

 

Worked for a couple of weeks until it fell apart when her "purse rang" (she didn't have a cell phone.")

 

She even tried it after the Divorce, saying our daughter (then 22) needed over $10k of dental work.. would I pay half. I said sure have the daughter call me. When the kid did call and asked for a check, I told her to have the dentist call (interstate) and I would give him a credit card over the phone... That's when my daughter had to confess that "Mom" put her up to it so she could get the down on a new car. (she was already living with the OM). Sweet eh?

 

But who cares? I didn't fall for it, and I even got sucked into ranting about it !~! You're good.

 

Truth is that All I want out of life is a person to "Have, hold, love, and cherish" that will return the favor. Guess I'm just aiming to high.

[TheWife]

I didn't say I enjoyed life whizzing by, just that I noticed it.

 

I was never any good at "catching" my ex in a lie. She got away with it for 24 years by just lying. I believed everything she said. I even believed it when she said:

 

"I was so young when I married you, you have done almost everything, I need space to find out if I can do it myself". Yea Right!

 

Worked for a couple of weeks until it fell apart when her "purse rang" (she didn't have a cell phone.")

 

She even tried it after the Divorce, saying our daughter (then 22) needed over $10k of dental work.. would I pay half. I said sure have the daughter call me. When the kid did call and asked for a check, I told her to have the dentist call (interstate) and I would give him a credit card over the phone... That's when my daughter had to confess that "Mom" put her up to it so she could get the down on a new car. (she was already living with the OM). Sweet eh?

 

But who cares? I didn't fall for it, and I even got sucked into ranting about it !~! You're good.

 

Truth is that All I want out of life is a person to "Have, hold, love, and cherish" that will return the favor. Guess I'm just aiming to high.

There's nothing wrong in trusting the one you love. You wore your heart on your sleeves. Unfortunately, there are people such as your X who took advantage of it.

 

And there is absolutely nothing wrong in wanting a person to "have, hold, love and cherish." There are poeple like these! Maybe if continue to tone down your "butcher boy" persona a little, someone might actually notice the person that needs to be "had, held. loved, and cherished."

[LakesideDream]

I'm a writer, it's easy for me to communicate with a keyboard (typewriter in the old days), In person I'm just a big lovable teddy bear.

 

Frankly, (and I hate it) meeting gals isn't the problem, wanting them is. I haven't met a woman I actually wanted in quite awhile.

 

Trust isn't really the issue. It doesen't usually get to that. I get "amped up" at the sound of distant gunfire. I don't wait for it to catch up to me. (butcher boy metaphyor I know). It doesen't help that I'm carrying a bonfire around either.

[TheWife]

You are wise to cut your losses on this one now, and move on.

 

I think I admire you for your ability to actually DO that, when I have been unable to. Must be that I'm older, and less self-confident that you are.

 

Regardless of all the 'reasons' your H used to justify his affair, the real truth remains that it was a character flaw. You don't go have a LTA with someone without first trying to work on the marriage. End of story.

 

The fact that it continued, along with the lies and deceit, just puts him in the 'cheaters-club' for life. Nobody FORCES a spouse to have an affair. Nobody FORCES a spouse to lie.

 

And nobody FORCES a spouse to NOT make amends and try to salvage the marriage IF its important to them.

Thanks! I'm with you on all counts. My recent horsocope said, I would hear from friends I haven't heard from in ages. Sure enough, I did.

 

And hey, you're NEVER too old to do anything different. You're only too old when you stop. Think about it...

[TheWife]

I'm a writer, it's easy for me to communicate with a keyboard (typewriter in the old days), In person I'm just a big lovable teddy bear.

 

Frankly, (and I hate it) meeting gals isn't the problem, wanting them is. I haven't met a woman I actually wanted in quite awhile.

 

Trust isn't really the issue. It doesen't usually get to that. I get "amped up" at the sound of distant gunfire. I don't wait for it to catch up to me. (butcher boy metaphyor I know). It doesen't help that I'm carrying a bonfire around either.

OK, then put out that bonfire and start a new one. It's no different for women in the the same situation. So, why haven't you met a woman you actually wanted in quite awhile. Maybe I'm missing something here. Explain.

[LakesideDream]

You haven't read my posts on other threads, I can tell. Ok a short version:

 

[sIZE=2]Almost 40 years or so ago, I met a gal, first "real" love for both of us. Being a stupid kid my eyes wandered and I moved laterally to another gal after a year. I didn’t lose touch of the first gal though. After the second relationship blew up, I couldn’t get in touch with the other gal. She had moved out of state and "moved on". Well not so much.

 

A few years later I met my "ex wife to be" and we married. I didn’t forget. Kids came, marriage difficulties.. we worked through it, or so I thought. By the time the kids were in middle school, I had grown up enough to know that I was "in love" with my wife for real. I believed it would last forever. I rarely thought of the "other gal". Once in a while, I would think back. Usually listening to old music and drinking single malt on the patio.. (a rare occurrence).

 

The best of "thinking back" would be giving my Son "fatherly advice" when he was 17. He had a GF, who adored him. They knew each other for years, he totally took her for granted. Messed her over as a matter of habit (just like dad). I sat him down and talked to him for hours, trying to convince him to grow up and see what was right in front of him. Of course he didn’t/hasn’t. I was speaking from the heart.

 

Anyhow, fast forward to 2001. Wife says … need space etc. There had been a problem a year and a half before after I had my first "illness" had a surgery and came home to "I need space", she relented after a couple of months (she didn’t have her ducks in a row yet). Luckily the worst of the pain came then, not a year and a half later. We went to counseling (described in another post) and I thought things were OK. She treated me like everything was golden for another year.

 

Anyhow.. (complicated eh?) The day my ex gave me the "need space" speech for the second time in two years, she left the house for a while to take a drive and think things over (call her OM). I went to the computer to check my business mail, and it was open to Classmates.com. Well naturally, I typed in my "first’s" name and bingo.. there it was. I didn’t have the password, so I opened my own account and typed a message: "Want to write"? She did. She had joined classmates two days before. Ends up she never got over me. She was married (same length of time I was, same year and month) had two kids, (youngest 17 a year younger than my boy) and claimed her husband was a dolt. Exactly what I needed when I was beaten, battered, and even suicidal.

 

Needless to say, within a couple of months, we were blazing like the sun. Long distance heat (I had already divorced, where I live divorces take 72 hours). It lasted a few months, and she got cold feet.

 

We are barely in contact now. Just emails and a call once in awhile. Flowers on "special days" (delivered to her work) Christmas and birthday presents. The romantic love is still there, the inertia isn’t, I don’t really know why and don’t pry. I haven’t "given up hope" I just don’t think about it very often.

 

I haven’t met anyone who made me feel that way.. sadly. As you can guess there’s enough more to fill a small book, but that’s the gist of it.

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