Guest Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 This is a question for the men but women may answer as well becasue it might pertain to your situation too. Do you think men who don't get alot of sex from their wives, would cheat? Defining "alot" can mean different things to different people I'm sure. Some might be happy with 3 times a week or even once a week. Some might be happy with 2 times a month etc. But what if you and your spouse harldy ever had sex. Say theres no medical reason for it either. Say you have tried everything in your power to explain why it is you don't feel sexual towards your spouse in hopes they get the message and try harder in the relationship if more sex is what they are wanting. Sure the right thing to do would be after all has been tried and you still were not getting the sex you wanted to get out of the situation, but my question is do you think men/women who don't get alot of sex will cheat? I guess the same could be said for a spoouse whos not getting emotional needs met either just like some not getting sexual needs met. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 depends on the strength of their marriage. Is communication, understanding, love – all that good stuff – a bedrock of the marriage so much so that when the physicality of the relationship wanes, there's still a respect for other and for the relationship? That an extramarital relationship (physical or emotional) isn't really even a consideration? I think the (wo)man who can look beyond the sexual aspect of a relationship will find it easier to stay loyal to that relationship because (s)he understands that while the sex is important, it's not the be-all, end-all of a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 This is a question for the men but women may answer as well becasue it might pertain to your situation too. Do you think men who don't get alot of sex from their wives, would cheat? Defining "alot" can mean different things to different people I'm sure. Some might be happy with 3 times a week or even once a week. Some might be happy with 2 times a month etc. But what if you and your spouse harldy ever had sex. Say theres no medical reason for it either. Say you have tried everything in your power to explain why it is you don't feel sexual towards your spouse in hopes they get the message and try harder in the relationship if more sex is what they are wanting. Sure the right thing to do would be after all has been tried and you still were not getting the sex you wanted to get out of the situation, but my question is do you think men/women who don't get alot of sex will cheat? I guess the same could be said for a spoouse whos not getting emotional needs met either just like some not getting sexual needs met. It depends on what their needs are. Have you read His Needs Her Needs how to affair proof your marriage?? By Willard Harley?? It's an awesome book and it details in there alot of things about affairs and how they happen. It's one of the best selling marriage books of all time- and he states that women and men both have a top emotional need and if that need is not met consistently and the balance in your partners love bank begins to fall, then even the most moral and religious people will cheat. He lists it as "affection" for women and "Sexual fufillment" for men. He said there are a few spouses who won't cheat under those circumstances- if they are deeply religious and have a very strong family committment. Yet, he states that he's seen highly successful men, men in the ministry, heads of state- completely lose their mind over a special sexual relationship and give up everything they have to keep it. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 Some people will cheat, and some people will leave the marriage instead of cheating. Some people will cheat even if they are getting all the sex they want in the marriage, or are getting their needs met. Some poeple would never cheat as they are just opposed to duplicity and deceit, even though they stay in the marriage for the sake of the kids or financial reasons or whatever. It all depends on the people involved. Link to post Share on other sites
CynicalP Posted September 1, 2006 Share Posted September 1, 2006 Excellent question. I find myself in this exact situation. I been with my wife for 11 years. For the past five years I have been unsatisfied with the frequency and quality of sex with my wife. (Ladies - while you may mean well, it's extremely insulting to a man to just lie there and say 'go to it and get your rocks off'. If your not going to engage in the enjoyment of the act might as well tell to him to go F*** himself and save him the trouble of trying.) In answer to your question, yes you run the risk of your significant other cheating on you. While I understand, you may have physical problem or totally lost the desire for sex - your are imposing a sentence of forced celibacy upon your partner. This is unfair. The thing is I think most men would settle for a BJ or hand job in place of intercourse. The real important thing to remember is a man gets a sense that he is loved and appreciated and the you sincerely want to give him pleasure. I am sorry to inform you ladies that there is a pull string on man's heart and it's called a penis. If you want that heart to continue to throb for you keep pulling it. Granted this applies to men who have some sense of respect for women and relationships. Those men who cheat at a drop of a dime will do so regardless how much love and appreciation you shower them. They have no dignity nor honor. Link to post Share on other sites
stoopid_guy Posted September 1, 2006 Share Posted September 1, 2006 This is a question for the men but women may answer as well becasue it might pertain to your situation too. Do you think men who don't get alot of sex from their wives, would cheat? Defining "alot" can mean different things to different people I'm sure. Some might be happy with 3 times a week or even once a week. Some might be happy with 2 times a month etc. But what if you and your spouse harldy ever had sex. Say theres no medical reason for it either. Say you have tried everything in your power to explain why it is you don't feel sexual towards your spouse in hopes they get the message and try harder in the relationship if more sex is what they are wanting. Sure the right thing to do would be after all has been tried and you still were not getting the sex you wanted to get out of the situation, but my question is do you think men/women who don't get alot of sex will cheat? I guess the same could be said for a spoouse whos not getting emotional needs met either just like some not getting sexual needs met. Some men will cheat under any circumstances. But a man who would never consider cheating under other circumstances might cheat under those. (Having said that: Ladies, should you use sex/affection to keep your husbands from cheating or leaving you? NO. If that's why you're doing it, you're both better off apart. (IMHO)) Link to post Share on other sites
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