How to fake it??

[precious99]

This weekend I am going to a wedding (yes - if you have read my other posts it was supposed to happen a month ago but the brides father had a heart attack ) Anyways it is the wedding of a past "fling" of my BF's and his best friend. This past "fling", although the bride-to-be, still carries a troch for my BF and attempts to make me uncomfotable any time that I am in her presence. Hopefully she will be pretty busy this day as she is getting married . I have met many of his friends but have not gotten to know them nor do they like me at all (they think that I am taking him away from their clique!! God! They are all 25 - 30 years of age!)

 

So, my BF is one of the groomsmen and I will be arriving at both the wedding and reception alone and being seated with people I do not know and undoubtedly have nothing in common with - as I am older then he is and really see no value in smoking weed or getting so drunk that I pass out or throw up on someone . So my question is this...how do I walk into such a loaded and volitile situation with an air of confidence that I honestly do not possess?? How can I give everyone the impression that I am secure and unaffected by their childish behaviour?? I do not want to impress them but I want my behaviour to show my BF, when he looks over at me from the head table, that I am a bigger person than they are and that I exhibit characteristics that he can be proud of. Also, I am hoping that as the day progresses my "faux confidence" will morph itself into the real thing.

 

Thanks.

[norajane]

You start out by wearing a great dress that you feel fantastic in. Killer shoes and bag. Knowing that you look good in what you're wearing always kicks up your confidence a bit.

 

The wedding itself won't be much of an issue. You'll be seated in a church pew or whatnot, and isn't really the time for socialing or anything. So greet your bf with a big smile and gracious kiss, tell him he looks handsome, and then walk to your seat on his (or another usher's arm) with a hint of a smile playing on your lips. Say hello and smile to whomever is seated near you, and make small talk if possible. If not, don't worry about it - admire the flowers and don't fidget (fidgeting makes you look uncomfortable).

 

When you arrive at the reception, first thing is to find the ladies room and make any adjustments to hair, makeup and hemlines. If there's anyone in there, say hello and talk to her - even if they're kids or grandmas. Your goal is to be friendly and take the high road all night. Making friends with the younger girls and older ladies will have you in a good mood - they're not going to criticize you or say anything behind your back; they have no agenda.

 

Then you put that smile back on your face and go through the receiving line, if they have one. Be gracious to everyone, especially the bride. This is your 'kill her with kindness' night. It's her day, so tell her she looks gorgeous and thank her for inviting you to her lovely wedding. Congratalate her husband. Again, tell your bf how handsome he looks and whisper in his ear how you can't wait to get him home to take off his tie. As you walk past him, look back and tell him you'll save a dance for him.

 

Then, again with that hint of smile on your face, find your table. Hold your head high, walk slowly and look around a bit, getting a feel for the set up inside. At the table, say hello to everyone, be friendly and make comments about the bride's beautiful dress, the pretty flowers, the lovely place settings, whatever. This would be a great time to have a glass of champagne to steady your nerves!

 

Don't get drawn into any catty conversations. Don't criticize anything or anyone. Be as friendly and kind as you can. If you start feeling uncomfortable, that's a great time to excuse yourself and get another drink at the bar, or go to the ladies room, or just take a little breather in the hallway. Dinner will arrive, so you'll be busy eating. Ideally, there will be at least one other person at your table that you can talk with. If not, no worries. It's just an hour or so. Once the dancing starts, your bf won't have so many duties and can spend a little time with you.

 

Have fun!

[silentcharon]

NJ is right, that's killer advice right there. Just kick back, relax and have fun!