heyduh Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 I posted this in the Break Up section, but this area may be more appropriate ... before you try to "win back the ex" (WHICH I DO NOT ADVISE AT ALL!!) ... you need to understand the real reasons for the breakup. Unless it was an abusive relationship, chances are that the ex just "fell out of love" ... some will not admit this is the real reason and instead will try to rationalize their decision with so-called "problems" which really should not be dealbreakers if they really loved you. I'm a guy and speaking from a male perspective ... I read a lot of "relationship" material over the past few months. A couple of e-books by Carlos Xuma (The Dating Black Book, and Secrets of the Alpha Man) are the highlights. Some people say that Carlos has copied material from other "gurus" - whatever, I don't care - he has done an excellent job of condensing and organizing the main points of man-women dynamics. As I was reading his e-books, I realized that I made every mistake possible in keeping her attracted towards me. It was as if these e-books were a case study on MY very own relationship. So uncanny. When we first started dating, I was in a healthy, normal self-confident mental state and easily attracted this woman (who is MUCH better looking than I am) ... she proclaimed her love before I was even thinking about it, we spent every moment (non working) together. And then **** started to happen. Many of the things written by Carlos may be found digging through the archives here ... many things may be found in other relationship books, and e-books, but like I said, he has done a good job of putting it all together. The reason I stopped reading through these archives was the general negativity. Great advice, just not a very healthy environment IMHO. Another good book (on Amazon) is The Way of the Superior Man .. although this is more spiritual so if you're not into that it may be a drag At first I felt a lot of resentment and bitterness towards her, the way she left me, and then kept it lingering on for a while ... I would argue that she was stringing me along, giving me false hope ... But after reading all of these materials I realized that I was the REASON she behaved the way she did. I simply made every mistake that there is to be made in a romantic long-term relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
ilmw Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 Read the same books listened to the CD's.... agree 100%... Girl fell in love with you for a reason.... if you change... lose that edge... you are sunk... seems it does not matter what the reason is... But Carlos's material is helpful in that it identifies what you had before.. any Beta male behaviour... and helps you focus and regaining that edge... well.... it has and is for me.... It would be nice if all this relationship crap was easier... bit alas... it ain't:) Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts