boyfriend

[zxy]

I am no longer in contact with angie. it has been a month. we went to college together for two semesters. we became very good buddies. we had our disagreements. She played the role as a perpetual victim in the beggining but not at the end. I knew not to get involved with her. The problem is, I am trying to get completely over her. I know it will happen. But, when I get over her, I don't want her to call me all of the sudden. During the time when we were together as friend, she said that she cared for me. and at times she said that she considered herself as having no boyfriend.

 

I do care for her but I no loner want to have these feelings for her. I will not call her and she probably won't call me. at the last day of class, when i saw. I thanked her for being my friend and said good bye. And she told me this was not the end. For me, I sincerely want it to be the end if she is going to have her current boyfriend, but at the same time I wouldn't mind talking to her again if she leaves her boyfriend.

 

how do I deal wiht these feelings?? I will not call her. and she will probably not call me. I could live with her and I could live without her.

[Tony T]

If she's got a boyfriend, resolve yourself to life without her. It's just not good business to put your feelings on hold while somebody goes through the course of a relationship. She could end up getting married to this guy and there's no assurance she won't find someone else in the meantime to go off with if a break up occurs. Don't even think about doing something like this in the future.

 

It's also NOT good business to continue a platonic friendship with someone for whom you have romantic feelings and a desire to date when the other has a relationship going. That could be very hurtful over time.

 

How you deal with having no contact with her is something you'll have to handle. The very best way to get over someone is to stop all contact completely and resolve yourself to that so you can go through the healing process. You are absolutely correct that if in the future you resume a healthy, fulfilling life without her and then she calls you, old emotions could dredge right up. Tell her you just want no contact at all.

 

You never actually dated her so this should be of no difficulty at all. It should take you no time at all to get over her unless you've made a lot more of this in your head than what it was.

 

I'm not sure who is using who here. But if anybody in a relationship keeps somebody like you on the side on the outside chance their relationship tanks, that is just plan using and a horrifically sick thing to do. Don't let yourself get used. Move on. Some women love to have a reserve parachute like you handy in case they break up with their guy...but these reserves are only that...until they find someone else.

 

Do yourself a favor. Start the healing process today and write this lady out of your life, especially if she has a boyfriend. If she wanted to be with you, she would be.

[moe]

Thank you very much for your advice. I really appreciated to hear the truth. True, she played games. And she won't be playing me anymore. Strange, how some females think they can change their boyfriend. it never will happen. Thanks again!

If she's got a boyfriend, resolve yourself to life without her. It's just not good business to put your feelings on hold while somebody goes through the course of a relationship. She could end up getting married to this guy and there's no assurance she won't find someone else in the meantime to go off with if a break up occurs. Don't even think about doing something like this in the future. It's also NOT good business to continue a platonic friendship with someone for whom you have romantic feelings and a desire to date when the other has a relationship going. That could be very hurtful over time. How you deal with having no contact with her is something you'll have to handle. The very best way to get over someone is to stop all contact completely and resolve yourself to that so you can go through the healing process. You are absolutely correct that if in the future you resume a healthy, fulfilling life without her and then she calls you, old emotions could dredge right up. Tell her you just want no contact at all. You never actually dated her so this should be of no difficulty at all. It should take you no time at all to get over her unless you've made a lot more of this in your head than what it was.

 

I'm not sure who is using who here. But if anybody in a relationship keeps somebody like you on the side on the outside chance their relationship tanks, that is just plan using and a horrifically sick thing to do. Don't let yourself get used. Move on. Some women love to have a reserve parachute like you handy in case they break up with their guy...but these reserves are only that...until they find someone else. Do yourself a favor. Start the healing process today and write this lady out of your life, especially if she has a boyfriend. If she wanted to be with you, she would be.