greaser14 Posted September 1, 2006 Share Posted September 1, 2006 Alright ladies I need your help. I have a girl who is a friend of mine. She has been for awhile. We had a past together physically but didn't really date. We cut the physical **** out before it ruined our friendship. It seemed to work because we've remained friends. About a year later I ended up meeting a friend of hers who I befriended and who of course I eventually fell for. They had a little falling out before any form of dating occurred. Now the girl that i'm kinda dating gets terribly insecure when I'm around my friend because obviously she knows about our past. I don't want to put her in a position to be insecure because i can see where she's coming from. At the same time I don't want to lose my friend either. Is there any resolve? Will it ever be accepted as the past or will it just linger until it deteriorates one or both of my relationships? I need a woman's perspective because of course, as I guy, I think it's no big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
WomanGuest Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 You hit it bang on the head! You will have a deterioration of one relationship. The girlfriend has already stated that she is uneasy about your past with the girl..friend. Sorry to say it, but it ain't going to get any easier for you. I would also say that out of the two, the girlfriend will be the one to split. This is about 88% the case with two woman having shared the same man (regardless of who is in his bed at the time). The bottom line is that both of the women are in your heart, and both will feel the other is more of a priority regardless of what you do to make one feel secure. This is from a woman who has been the one to walk away because of your exact situation (PS - I was the girlfriend). Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 Communication is the only way through this. Keep talking to your gf and reiterate that you and your friend only want to be friends, that it didn't work when you were physical, and that if you wanted to be together, you would have been, but you're not. Be patient and keep telling her this until it sinks in. Also, show your affection for your gf as much as possible to reassure her that she's who you want to be with - no half-hearted BS, show her that you have no doubts. Link to post Share on other sites
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