when a marriage becomes dead.

[Guest]

I had posted in another forum but for some reason the thread was closed. Here's my problem: I am married to a man who I love but who I am no longer in love with. Because we have two small children, I do not want to leave. He is a good father, a good provider and a good man. He is not, however a good husband. We have had distance for years. Sometimes when the kids go to bed I feel as though we're living in a tomb. I have expressed my unhappiness sevarl times and one year ago begged for a divorce. He refused and now I am at a point where I do not want to split our family up, but being in this marriage I feel like I am in limbo. I have tried everything; i am not a bad wife to him. i do not nag. I have not let myself go. I try to show my respect although it feels like I have lost alot of love for this man. My family says he has beaten it out of me, having been so distant for so long. Now I've lost interest. Someone said the problem is me and that i should leave; but it is not that simple. I left my career to stay at home and there are times when I am so depressed I feel numb. I am not a bad person-I just can't force myself to feel what isn't there. I still harbor feelings for my ex-but he seems to feel nothing for me. I'm not even going to bother with that one. I still loved him when I got married and it was my mistake to marry someone when I still hadn't gotten over someone else. I thought if i buried it all, eventaully it would go away. I was wrong.

My marriage might have been a mistake-but my kids aren't.Also, we work nicely together as a couple and a family-but when we're alone I feel nothing.