That_girl Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 There's this really adorable guy that just starting working for my company (in my department). He has a girlfriend, he mentioned her to another co-worker of mine, however he has worked with us for about 5 months and he has only mentioned her once to me (casually in conversation). Anyhow, this guy and I have a ton of things in common. It seems we can't stop chatting at work about anything and everything. I can't really tell however if he is flirting with me or just being friendly. The thing is he's a real friendly guy, but he isnt; nearly as talkative around other people at work. With me, he likes to joke around and we're always playfully insulting each other...like kids do when they're in elementary school and they have a crush on one another. He'll say things like "Your hair looks different today, what did you do to it?", when it looks the same as usual. Now I'm not trying to flirt with him, it just gets to the point where I can't stop smiling or blushing around him because I'm so into him. He laughs at practically everything I say too which makes it pretty difficult to keep a professional conversation going. I'm not trying, nor do I have any intention of taking anything to the next level, as I know that he has a girlfriend. And of course I would not appreciate someone doing that to me, nor would I want someone who has a girlfriend to ask me out. I just don't want to lust after him anymore because I'm really starting to like him alot and not knowing what he;s thinking is killing me. Is it just wishful thinking to dream about him dumping his girlfriend (who lives in another city) and ask me out? Link to post Share on other sites
shldknwbtr Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 This happens all the time. When a guy does not mention his sig other around you, he is into you or at least interested in more. Maybe he will never act on it, but its the cat and mouse thing that will keep him doing it. It is natural to have work crushes. This happens to married people too in the workforce (and leads to affairs). If you really like him just keep doing what you are doing and things will work themselves out. Don't worry about his girlfriend, let him worry about that. If he was so into her he wouldn't be focusing his attention at work on you. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 Two big red flags here: - You work with him, and dating people you work with is a big danger when things go badly (and they often do, eventually). It's a big danger even if things go well, because people start noticing and talking about you, and if your flirting and teasing and whatnot gets in the way of work projects or starts to annoy people, your boss will hear about it. If you can't stop chatting about anything and everything, and it's getting in the way of you having professional conversations, you've already crossed the line. Believe me, others have already noticed. - That he has a girlfriend and is acting this way around you makes him a bad risk as a boyfriend. Even if he dumped his gf to ask you out, could you really trust him to be faithful to you? Yes, it's wishful thinking, and naive wishful thinking at that. Link to post Share on other sites
robyr77 Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 I think you should do what you really feel inside you, obviously to be involved in a story in the place where you work has always positive things but bad as well. Link to post Share on other sites
penkitten Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 never mix buisness and pleasure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author That_girl Posted September 5, 2006 Author Share Posted September 5, 2006 I appreciate all the replies. I am aware that it is "naive" wishful thinking, but its not like I'm going to act on it. Besides, I'm sure alot of people have crushed on someone that is unnattainable. The only problem that I have is that it is interfering with my work because he is getting my hopes up. I did think that there was such a thiing as "harmless" flirting, provided you dont act on it. But, as someone mentioned above, there really is no such thing. I've been flirting with him because I am incredibly sexually attracted to him. The reason it interferes with my work is not because I'm looking to take it furthur...I;m not even sure if he feels the same way about me yet. Alot of his jokes revolve around me and my personality. He's always saying that someone needs to bring down my ego jokingly because he knows that alot of guys at work come onto me. But anyways, I justt wanted to know what you all thought was the real motive behind this and if it really was "flirting". Link to post Share on other sites
Marcus1963 Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 well lets see he has a gf and works with you.....he apparently has a crush on you but that doesnt mean anythign why not jst forget about him ?i'd say hes nothing but bad news if he hasnt asked you out by now he probably wont but if he does make sure he got rid of his gf first Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 never mix buisness and pleasure. Its not always so bad. I met my boyfriend at work and we still work together and now live together. We have been together for almost 6 years now. Link to post Share on other sites
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