Does it count if it happened BM (before marriage)?

[lovelylady1234]

I don't really mean, does it count, what I mean is HOW LONG does it count? I posted another thread on here about a recent argument my H and I had. And some of you read other threads I have posted and saw that I cheated before I got married. Then this was brought up in replies as it pertains to the recent arguement. My husband and I have been married for 7 years, together total of 12 years (the cheating was longer than 8 years ago and I never had intercourse with the OM)

The trust issue is big with me. We had problems a year or two before we got married. I am not tying to be heartless but am I supposed to pay for that forever. I have been completly faithful in our marriage, yes I thought I had a crush recently, BUT I NEVER acted on it. Looking back I am not sure it was a true crush, it was mostly in my mind. I value our marriage and our vows. My therapist said that he is so scared I will disappoint him, that he is almost willing it to happen. He is becoming a self fullfiling prophecy. If I have done nothing wrong, I don't want a scarlett letter. It just pushes me away. (Guys please don't yell too loud at me;) )