the way people think and see you

[twkvfx]

from my position, the way my friends and other people think and see me as is false. what i mean by that is that they may think that i'm not (mentally) strong, like open-hearted, socialable, confident, etc. whereas i am inside. shy, whereas i truly am not inside. how can you turn friends' and peoples' perspectives about you? the way they see you as would turn to the opposite. from negative to positive.

[HokeyReligions]

Who cares what others think? Are you happy with you?

[Brittanyjean06]

I know exactly what you meen, but you know who you are and leave it at that. I recently posted about peoples perceptions of you. Hating the way others percieved me as...but what does it all matter? You gotta love you first before letting others dictate who you are. And if there your friends than they should see you for you? Do you not open up to them?

[greaser14]

What's up dude. I know people might say that you shouldn't worry about what other people think but lets be honest. easier said than done right?

You're still young but i'm sure you're starting to come into your own. You know.....figuring out what you like and responding to situations based on your own ideals and morals.

You need to understand that when youre young the world is pretty small. You have your own little clicks of friends and even your acquaintances are all in your business. It's kinda like a majority rules thing. if your personality strays from the group you become misperceived. Then people start talkin and the next thing you know your gettin judged on false pretenses.

You'll see that stuff like that even happens to us older folks. the difference is that once you get older the world gets alot bigger and you'll be able to find people who are similar to you. Once you do that, you'll find that it'll be alot easier to express yourself.

As for now, unfortunately people your age can be real jerk offs. My advice dude.....they don't know anything more than you do. ESPECIALLY ABOUT YOURSELF! The more time you try to "prove" yourself, the more time your wasting. If you need to crack the shell go out of your way for someone. BUT DON'T GET TAKIN ADVANTAGE OF! That way you gain respect by showing that you are the things you say you are and by not being a pushover. The losers that are using you will try to pressure you when you say no while the ones who truly appreciate your services will stick around. There sir are your true friends. Give it a shot.

[twkvfx]

can you guys clarify your comments please?

[blind_otter]

Behave in a manner that more accurately reflects your belief system. That's pretty much it.

 

You can't control anyone's perception, but your own. You cannot control how other people perceive you. The only thing within your control is that manner in which you chose to behave.

[SmoochieFace]

can you guys clarify your comments please?

 

Quit worrying about what other people think of you. If people accept you - great. If they don't accept you - great too.

 

Your confidence and self-esteem should not be dependent on how others see you. Those things come from the inside and you can only cultivate them based on YOUR perceptions of YOU.

[audmc911]

When you can say to yourself, "and what makes you think I care what you think?" and really feel it - is when you take your personal power back. I couldn't do that until I was 30. The sooner you learn that, the happier you will be in life and the MORE SUCCESSFUL!

 

That advice is the result of a lot $$$ spent on therapy - so take it!

 

Greaser 14 gave the best advice of all. Read it over and over again.

 

Good luck!

 

[audmc911]

Speak up! Say, you got it wrong. You're wrong. You don't know me. You can change it around that way.

 

Don't be agressive - but learn to be assertive when peeps are making false judgments. Challenge them. Take debate classes.

[greaser14]

Hard to make what i said any clearer. your first step might be to be more specific in your questions my friend but i'll give it a shot.

I'm assuming your still in high school. You're confined to a small group of people most of whom are trying to fit in with one another. Nobody knows what the h*ll is going on. "Popular" is the majority in high school plain and simple. if your interests stray from the majority you feel left out for the sole reason that there just aren't too many people around that like what you like.

Then you'll move on to college or the real world and the people pool will get a lot bigger and you'll realize that there are a whole lot of people who share your personality and ideas. and you won't feel so isolated.

Lastly, perception is a weird thing. Cliche but One man's trash is another mans treasure. so what if your shy or quiet. Some people see it as "weird." Others might see it as "Cute." As far as the other stuff goes, everyone has virtues that aren't up to par. doesn't neccissarily mean its negative. Find the ones that you're good at a use em. if your a clown, make someone laugh. If youre a good listener, ask someone whats wrong and LISTEN to them. Instead of going through every scenario maybe i should ask you....what is it that you're good at? how do you want to be perceived? Give some examples. That's the best i can do for ya right now. This may sound wishy washy but just stay true to yourself. Listen to what people say but don't dwell on it. They'll give you clues as to the MINOR adjustments you may need to make. In the end though your core is who you are and you're gonna find people who respect you for it. You need to figure out your core and build from it.

[greaser14]

Hard to make what i said any clearer. your first step might be to be more specific in your questions my friend but i'll give it a shot.

I'm assuming youre still in high school. You're confined to a small group of people most of whom are trying to fit in with one another. Nobody knows what the h*ll is going on. "Popular" is the majority in high school plain and simple. if your interests stray from the majority you feel left out for the sole reason that there just aren't too many people around that like what you like.

Then you'll move on to college or the real world and the people pool will get a lot bigger and you'll realize that there are a whole lot of people who share your personality and ideas. and you won't feel so isolated.

Lastly, perception is a weird thing. Cliche but One man's trash is another mans treasure. so what if your shy or quiet. Some people see it as "weird." Others might see it as "Cute." As far as the other stuff goes, everyone has virtues that aren't up to par. doesn't neccissarily mean its negative. Find the ones that you're good at a use em. if your a clown, make someone laugh. If youre a good listener, ask someone whats wrong and LISTEN to them. Instead of going through every scenario maybe i should ask you....what is it that you're good at? how do you want to be perceived? Give some examples. That's the best i can do for ya right now. This may sound wishy washy but just stay true to yourself. Listen to what people say but don't dwell on it. They'll give you clues as to the MINOR adjustments you may need to make. In the end though your core is who you are and you're gonna find people who respect you for it. You need to figure out your core and build from it.

[twkvfx]

okay, maybe i'll do that. but first i need to bring back my confidence, be motivated and learn to stop worrying about anything.

[twkvfx]

but what happens if you like make a forcement in any way?

[filiasan]

I think that the way people see you is mainly wrong, some right. Like I can tell you right now, most people see me as an eccentric, which is very try. But many make the incredibly FALSE assumption that I'm confident, and happy to live in my own world. I do live in my own world, but it's only because I'm unhappy in THIS world. I can't see why people would think I'm confident. Is it because I'm aloof? I have nothing to be proud of.

 

When it comes to stereotypes, I get a whole gamot of labels. Airhead, alluring, amusing, awkward, baby, biased, bitch, clumsy, confused, confusing, cute, elloquent, fat-ass, freak, geek, half-assed, hard-headed, hot, lazy, lesbo, loony, manic, misfit, misunderstood, obnoxious, outcast, pretentious, prude, push-over, quirky, silly, slut, space-case, space-head, spacey, stubborn, weirdo, whore

 

And while some of those labels are true, a LOT of them are just assinine assumations.

[moises786]

What's up dude. I know people might say that you shouldn't worry about what other people think but lets be honest. easier said than done right?

You're still young but i'm sure you're starting to come into your own. You know.....figuring out what you like and responding to situations based on your own ideals and morals.

You need to understand that when youre young the world is pretty small. You have your own little clicks of friends and even your acquaintances are all in your business. It's kinda like a majority rules thing. if your personality strays from the group you become misperceived. Then people start talkin and the next thing you know your gettin judged on false pretenses.

You'll see that stuff like that even happens to us older folks. the difference is that once you get older the world gets alot bigger and you'll be able to find people who are similar to you. Once you do that, you'll find that it'll be alot easier to express yourself.

As for now, unfortunately people your age can be real jerk offs. My advice dude.....they don't know anything more than you do. ESPECIALLY ABOUT YOURSELF! The more time you try to "prove" yourself, the more time your wasting. If you need to crack the shell go out of your way for someone. BUT DON'T GET TAKIN ADVANTAGE OF! That way you gain respect by showing that you are the things you say you are and by not being a pushover. The losers that are using you will try to pressure you when you say no while the ones who truly appreciate your services will stick around. There sir are your true friends. Give it a shot.

 

 

thanks alot, i mean what u siad was all this kid needs to know im also = 18 and what u said was great

[twkvfx]

thanks for that greaser14 and moises786.

[greaser14]

Howdy again. I see we have some new posts.

 

Confidence is gonna come from success. Life is full of battles. choose them wisely. If someone 6'2" 240 wants to pick a fight with you run like hell. If they're 4'6" 60 pounds beat the crap out've 'em. If they're your size then it might take twelve rounds. Some rounds your gonna win. some your gonna lose. You just gotta hang in there.

I'm not tellin you to pick fights but I think the analogy is clear. Again this stems from what you're good at. If your confidence is really shot than pick the easy stuff first. climb the hills not the mountains. Build yourself up again.

if the lack of confidence is coming from other people. You know what people make you feel like s**t. Don't associate with them. Do your thing.

Oh and this is huge dude. If you get picked on. DON'T RETALIATE! Thats why people pick on people. FOR THE REACTION. Don't give them the pleasure. Dont walk away with your tail between your legs either. Just show em that it doesnt bother you. If they say something funny about you smile. I mean a confident one. Show them that your comfortable with your short comings. The reason they're rippin on you is because they're insecure. They're trying to prove their "coolness" to someone else. You won't see to many people ripping on you when they're alone. you may not think so but trust me on that one.

 

The worrying thing is a little innate. I'm afraid youre born with that. Its a tough one. I guess its kinda like the first hill of a roller coaster. The first hill looks scary as hell from the ground as does life alot of the time. Somehow, and im sure this is different for everyone, you gotta grow a set and find a way to get yourself on the coaster. Cause once its over, then and only then, will you be sittin there askin yourself what it was you were so worried about because that was one heck of a ride.

 

How'd I do it? I just told myself about a thousand times, "youre not gonna die, how bad can it be." Well....maybe two thousand. Thank goodness it was a long line. Anyhow, after that I didn't worry as much anymore....at least about roller coasters. I hope you get the picture.

[greaser14]

Oh and i have no idea what a forcement is. So if ya want my take on that you might have to reword.

[twkvfx]

because of my rudeness and awkardness that i've committed towards them before, they won't socialise with me whenever i've been seen by them. say you kind of walked past them and they saw you coming into their direction but you can't tell if they've seen you, by looking at where the pupils are pointing at, and it seems as they are looking straight ahead, and then walked past you with no notice on purpose, because of what i've done. if instead of me walking past them would be another person then the situation is the opposite. do you understand what i mean? i've been rejected in a way because i've rejected them in the past. what can i do? you don't know how personal this is.

[twkvfx]

so what do you think of the consequences in this situation?