a painful flash back.

[C.R.Y.S.T.A.L.]

just a while ago i was hanging in the bath room doorway as my guy was getting ready for a meeting. i have done this several times in the past.

 

you know how you just stand there and talk to someone? well i was doing that and leanig against the doorway when out of know where i had a flash back of being pre-teen to early teens.

 

the flash back was of my mom getting ready to go out. she would be in her little dressing room/closet, putting on her lipstick and dress.

 

i use to watch her and talk to her, bug her for money. i don't know where this flash back came from, all i know is it hurt me deeply that i had to leave and am still fighting back tears from missing her.

 

she died almost ten years ago. i guess they say the pain never goes away, you never really stop missing them do you? well anyway, i can't really talk to anyone about this anyway, my guy had to run and i know he didn't want to be bothered by my problem.

 

i'm still sad, i still miss her mostly when i'm troubled or hurting from a fight with my guy, or have a problem i can't or don't want to talk to anyone else about. those are the times i really really really really miss her!

 

just wanted to say that, that's all, and if anyone wants to respond please do, it would be welcomed. and please note, this is CRYSTAL, not anybody else!!!

[Tony T]

My mother died when I was 13 and, yes, you are right. You never get over it. Of course, the older you get the better you are prepared for that kind of loss.

 

But when someone as close as a parent dies, a part of you sort of goes with them and you never get that back. There's an emptiness that nobody can understand until they've gone through the experience.

 

There are no particular times when you can feel that void but I suppose when you have fights with your guy that's as good a time as any.

[velvet]

I lost my mother 3 years ago. it was just after Christmas. I was mad at myself because it had been the first time I had not spent the holidays with her. I was living a thousand miles from home and decided to spend my christmas kissing multi-millionare butts. My fiance and I had planned a ski trip to visit my parents when she passed away. The years I lived so far away helped me cope with the loss of her because I was already living as if my family were dead. I was close with my family and just a plane ride away but still a thousand miles away.

 

After her service I drove to her house and in the spare bedroom she had the christmas tree set up gifts. I sat and unwrapped each gift wishing she were there for me to hug her. The night she died she was with her husbands family reunion and the dinner party was video taped. I was given a copy and in the movie she said she was anticipating my visit. I have her last night on a movie.

 

A little over a year ago I moved back to my home state. No longer a plane ride away. She could be just a drive a way.

 

A drunk driver killed my mother when she was 44. She had just got married, & was at a real happy time in her life.

 

Im 24. I often wonder when Im 54 if I will still remember her smile,laugh,& how funny she was when she got angry with me. Now shes a lifetime away.

 

Though my r/s with my fiance ended I preserved her wedding dress,shoes,vail. So I suppose in a way she will be there when/ or if I get married.

 

Its healthy to miss a lost one. Its healthy to cry. It means they are still in your heart.

 

My mother died when I was 13 and, yes, you are right. You never get over it. Of course, the older you get the better you are prepared for that kind of loss. But when someone as close as a parent dies, a part of you sort of goes with them and you never get that back. There's an emptiness that nobody can understand until they've gone through the experience. There are no particular times when you can feel that void but I suppose when you have fights with your guy that's as good a time as any.