Is being SELFISH becoming a trend???

[tine_23]

Hi! this thread may sound weird...and not that important to you...but I need to write this to feel better...

 

I broke up with my ex about 2 months ago (I left him)...and we haven't talked for 2 month. Since we would see each other often (same friends and other activities) I asked him is he would like to try and talk again (not to be friends just be polite and talk sometimes) cuz it was very weird to be around each other when we would be with our friends...he didn't hesitate or said he had to think about it... he simply said yes... so liI went and talk to him on msn like...2 times... he would answer back but didn't seem to put any interest... I mean if you don't wanna talk to me just don't answer back my im... or simply say no when I ask to talk again...and when I saw him like 5 days ago he didn't even look at me or said Hi!.. anyway

 

then...today he came and talked to me on msn only to ask me about a email I had sent him like in the beginning of our relationship...it was like a email with like 50 questions to answer about him... personal things... it's kinda like a game to get to know the other person more...

 

anyway...he asked if I still had it cuz he didn't have the one I sent him when we were togheter and he wanted it "back"....

 

I got so mad (but didn't tell)!!! He acts like he doesn't give a **** about me when I'm around or when I try to be polite with him and then suddently he needs a "question-game" I sent him probably cuz he wants to send it to some other chick...and now he's all nice and he comes to talk to me...IT IS SOOO SELFISH! He doesn't care to talk to me...but now he needs to flirt with some other girl (which I don't care about)...so he comes and acts all nice...I mean... It gets me mad to see how people can be so hypocrit..... he's such a jerk!

 

thanks for reading!

[Guest]

No disrespect to you, but this is why I think that once a relationship is over all contact should cease. Period.

 

I don't even think you should share the same friends. It's way better to remove yourselves from each other until a much later time.

 

Sorry I wasn't any help to you.

[luvstarved]

If selfishness is a trend in your (non)relationship, I'd venture to opine that you were the pioneer.

 

You left him, you have given him up. You have no right to expect anything of him whatsoever. If he chooses to be polite towards you, lucky you. If not, that is his business.

 

It is possible that he is still really hurt and asked you for the question game just so that you would THINK he was going to send it to another chick. If so, that is a little sad but I wouldn't call it selfish exactly. When he did correspond with you, at least it was with some motive, to get the questionnaire. Be a sport and send it to him.

 

I can understand your wanting to agree to be cordial in unavoidable social circumstances, but why did you IM to him? What was YOUR motive?

 

Don't toy with this guy. Let it go.

[tine_23]

If selfishness is a trend in your (non)relationship, I'd venture to opine that you were the pioneer.

 

You left him, you have given him up. You have no right to expect anything of him whatsoever. If he chooses to be polite towards you, lucky you. If not, that is his business.

 

My oh my! that was a hard one! ...

 

I can understand why you would say I'm selfish...of course I asked him to start talking again and I sometimes IM him so that I get to know how he's going cuz I still think about him sometimes...even thought I've moved on...

So it is in my favor that I sometimes talk to him...you're right...

 

You probably wouldn't have called me a selfish person if you would have known the the reasons of why I broke up with him... he's the one that told me he didn't have time for me and that we should spend more time apart...We tried...but I just can't have a relationship with someone who thinks that it's ok to call your girlfriend once or twice a week...and let her "wait" for you and your free time so that then you can spend time together...always according to HIS schedule...also...like a week after we broke up he told me he did NOT miss me and that he doesn't have time to think about me... and that he HE does not IM me it's because he doesn't have anything to say to me...

 

See...he doesn't care about me at all...that why I say he asked me this email only for his benefit...!!! because he usually doesn't seem to care about me...

 

The only reason why I asked him to talk again so that WE wouldn't feel weird when we're around...and also our friends won't be uncomfortable to do things with the both of us together...

 

I never thought of the possibility that he might still be hurt because he always told me he didn't miss me...

 

You think it's possible that he might be hurt after all he said??? I'm confused...

 

Oh and I did send him the email...

[Jaded-Arie]

If selfishness is a trend in your (non)relationship, I'd venture to opine that you were the pioneer.

 

You left him, you have given him up. You have no right to expect anything of him whatsoever. If he chooses to be polite towards you, lucky you. If not, that is his business.

 

It is possible that he is still really hurt and asked you for the question game just so that you would THINK he was going to send it to another chick. If so, that is a little sad but I wouldn't call it selfish exactly. When he did correspond with you, at least it was with some motive, to get the questionnaire. Be a sport and send it to him.

 

I can understand your wanting to agree to be cordial in unavoidable social circumstances, but why did you IM to him? What was YOUR motive?

 

Don't toy with this guy. Let it go.

 

 

 

*******Standing Ovation********

 

She first says she wanted to be cordial in (their common) company, then she IMs. Why??? ****! If my ex who left me did and pulled that card of DEMANDING and EXPECTING more than cordial contact, I would be fuming too. In fact, I would think he was a selfish jerk.

 

Tine, you left the dude, which means you didn't want him anymore, give him the gotdamned questionaire!!!! He needs to get laid too, 2 months is a very long time.....

[Woggle]

You left him and now you complain that he doesn't seem interested in you. This is another case of a woman breaking up with a guy and then getting upset when he is doing fine without you.

[littlekitty]

My oh my! that was a hard one! ...

 

I can understand why you would say I'm selfish...of course I asked him to start talking again and I sometimes IM him so that I get to know how he's going cuz I still think about him sometimes...even thought I've moved on...

So it is in my favor that I sometimes talk to him...you're right...

 

You probably wouldn't have called me a selfish person if you would have known the the reasons of why I broke up with him... he's the one that told me he didn't have time for me and that we should spend more time apart...We tried...but I just can't have a relationship with someone who thinks that it's ok to call your girlfriend once or twice a week...and let her "wait" for you and your free time so that then you can spend time together...always according to HIS schedule...also...like a week after we broke up he told me he did NOT miss me and that he doesn't have time to think about me... and that he HE does not IM me it's because he doesn't have anything to say to me...

 

See...he doesn't care about me at all...that why I say he asked me this email only for his benefit...!!! because he usually doesn't seem to care about me...

 

The only reason why I asked him to talk again so that WE wouldn't feel weird when we're around...and also our friends won't be uncomfortable to do things with the both of us together...

 

I never thought of the possibility that he might still be hurt because he always told me he didn't miss me...

 

You think it's possible that he might be hurt after all he said??? I'm confused...

 

Oh and I did send him the email...

 

Sounds to me like you might not be over him.....?

[tine_23]

 

Tine, you left the dude, which means you didn't want him anymore, give him the gotdamned questionaire!!!! He needs to get laid too, 2 months is a very long time.....

 

Yeah right!... as if I'm gonna help my ex to get laid! Oh and I didn't leave him because I didn't want him...I left him cuz HE didn't show interest anymore and did not want ME anymore... he actually told me that the week after...so he was just acting all distant because he wanted to break up but did not have the guts to do it...!

 

I guess you guys don't have all of the relationship background...

 

I say he was selfish because since the beginning he has been...it's not just that specific situation...

 

Littlekitty....maybe you're right...I thought I was....maybe seeing him just the other day made something clicked inside of me and I thought I was over him....but turns out I'm not....I don't know...

[HeyYouGuys]

If he doesn't want contact with you, that's his perogative.

 

Perhaps he's hurt over the relationship ending....or perhaps he WANTED it to end and wants to move on.

 

Sometimes people need to establish distance between themselves and an ex because they're interested in someone else.

 

They don't want the new person seeing them hang out with their ex! They want the new person to know they're free and available.

 

 

Sorry, but when you're an ex, you don't get all the benefits 'friends' get. You are an ex. There is baggage. It takes time for all that to clear.

[tine_23]

Perhaps he's hurt over the relationship ending....

 

I don't think so... he told me he didn't have time to think about it and/or time to miss me...

 

It takes time for all that to clear....

 

I guess you're right... and since we didn't go out that long...I thought 2 months might be enough for me to move on... like Littlekitty said...I might not be over him...just like I thought I was...

 

Thanks to those who have answered to my thread nicely!

[LaraV]

Tine, I'd like offer you my .02, but before that lemme ask you a question: have you ever been left by someone before, or have you always been the one to do the dumping?

[climbergirl]

In lieu of being a defense mechanism, which may be your ex's or your motive....selfishness isn't or shouldn't be classified as a 'trend', but rather an inherent trait in an individual. And unless they can step out of this revolving door of self-absorption, it's pretty much impossible to continue a relationship.

[tine_23]

In lieu of being a defense mechanism, which may be your ex's or your motive....selfishness isn't or shouldn't be classified as a 'trend', but rather an inherent trait in an individual. And unless they can step out of this revolving door of self-absorption, it's pretty much impossible to continue a relationship.

 

Hi Climbergirl! You are right...it is a part of a person's personnality to be selfish... I asked if it was becoming a "trend" because I feel like more and more these last years people seem to be thinking about themselves alot more like... I feel like people are less real...less loyal to other people... and sometimes it makes other people around them feel left out.... like I did... my ex actually told me I wasn't his priority... he had other things he felt right now were more important in his life... but he still wanted to be my boyfriend...(at that time)... I couldn't stay knowing I was not important to him... I'm not saying that I need to be the first on his list...but I could have been third and he could have showed some interest...I would have stayed... he was and still is doing everything always FOR HIMSELF!

 

I do take care of myself too and I like my alone time...but sometimes people are too much!?! like me...me ...me! Me myself and I... know what I mean? and I see it more and more these days...that why I talked about a "trend"...

 

Hi LaraV...to answer your question...yes I have been dumped in the past...it is the first time I left a boyfriend...one of the hardest thing I ever had to do...!... I didn't wanna do it... still feel bad and sad about it... even thought HE never seemed to be sad about it...!! may I ask why this question?

[Diver012]

Facing the one that rejected you is always awkward. Put yourself in his shoes, what ever he did wrong doesnt matter at that point. He is looking at the person that rejected him, the person that told him he wasnt good enough. It has nothing to do with selfishness. Its about self awareness.

Facing the fact that your flawed, and the person you were with, may not be capable of dealing with who you are is a tough realization. Stepping back out and trying again with someone else is brave and noble.

 

If he is out on the market again trying to stand back on his own 2 feet, good for him. Lifes to short. Personally, I think they way he is handling things is very brave.

[LaraV]

Hi LaraV...to answer your question...yes I have been dumped in the past...it is the first time I left a boyfriend...one of the hardest thing I ever had to do...!... still feel bad about it... even thought HE never seems to be sad about it...weird...!! may I ask why this question?

 

I was trying to figure out why all the indignation from your part at the way your ex is treating you. I think the reason most people here came hard down on you is because it's contradictory to kick someone out of your life and then be so concerned about the way he chooses to treat you after you've given him the boot. I think anyone who's been dumped before intuitively gets this, you know? Even if a person didn't matter to you that much, when someone breaks up with you, the ego gets injured, and it's kindda hard to behave in a nice, polite or friendly way to the person that just injured your ego.

 

I think it's reasonable to expect very little from his part. Truth is, he doesn't owe you anything at this point. I would expect a mature person to treat you in a civil way, but what exactly are you expecting from him? To be really nice and friendly? You dumped him - you can't possibly expect much from him can you? Especially since you said he didn't seem to care about you to begin with!

 

Anyway, my point is simply that there's no reason why this should be upsetting you so much. So what if he's acting like an a$$? Why do YOU care? You let him go so let him go. Forget about him, and move on.

 

He's not being selfish - really! You said good bye, so really, he doesn't owe you anything anymore.

[tine_23]

Hey LaraV...thanks!

 

I understand totally everything you just said...and I agree with you... I thinkk people thought my thread was meaner then I wanted it to look like...

 

I was mad and mostly sad that he had the guts to ask me for a "game" I had the idea to send him when we were together so that I would get to know him even better...and now we've broken up...he doesn't talk to me for 2 months and all of a sudden comes back for that questionnaire... propably to flirt with some other girl... and he acts all nice with me and once he as it... (I sent it to him...the one with my answers cuz I was too sad so I deleted his...ahahah! I'm bad )..then....he returns to being unpleasant... you know...would you have to guts to do that to your 2 months ago ex??? I couldn't...I cared about him too much to do that...

 

...anyway! thanks again LaraV!

[Rooster_DAR]

You left him and now you complain that he doesn't seem interested in you. This is another case of a woman breaking up with a guy and then getting upset when he is doing fine without you.

 

I agree with above completely. Before you break up with someone, you better get all your eggs in on basket first. What a bunch of crap!!

[tine_23]

I agree with above completely. Before you break up with someone, you better get all your eggs in on basket first. What a bunch of crap!!

 

What is your problem people???...Can't you give an opinion without making the person who wrote this thread (ME!) feel like an idiot???

 

I asked (not really actually if you read the theard right I don't even ask for help...).... for opinion not people telling me how I'm the jerk... and if you think I am...there are nice way to say it... like LaraV did...she gave her opinion... I didn't feel judged while reading her...

[swirly27]

Tine-

 

I understand how you are feeling....sometimes people on here are quick to jump down someone's throat. Everyone who is on here is somewhere in their lives/relationships where they need some advice or somewhere to vent....so if people want to disagree with you, they could be nicer about it.

 

But, I broke up with the guy I was dating and I am the heartbroken one - things aren't always so black and white when it comes to the dumper vs. dumpee and people need to remember that. I dated my guy for a short while and in that short time I really really liked him and got really excited about things, hence why I am the one with the broken heart....but I didn't end it because I didn't want to keep dating him - I ended it based on his actions or lackthereof......so technically I said the ending words, but his actions lead to this and he disappeared, so am I not allowed now to feel broken hearted Rooster?? Basically, my guy started blowing things off and when I tried to talk to him about it, he got uncomfortable but when I verbally asked him if he wanted to not date anymore, he said no that wasn't it and he was very interested....but for 3 days in a row (amongst other times) he blew me completely off....made plans, said he'd call and the final straw was he said he'd be right over.....and never showed up. So, because I wasn't being treated right at all, I ended it. All he would have had to have done was communicate a little with me, but he didn't want to, yet he wouldn't take the out I have him either, so I had no choice really. But I really liked him, so I am the one missing him. I could have NOT ended it and gone on and on with him blowing me off, but thats not gonna work either.

 

So Tine, if you know you did the right thing because of how he was treating you, then thats all you need to know. Not everyone on here is so judgemental. Its hard to end things with someone when you still love them or care about them and actually want to be with them, but they are not treating you right. If him contacting you for this email affected you this much, I would guess you're not entirely over him either. I would start just thinking a little about that.

[tine_23]

Thank you so much swirly27!!! You just made my day... I think we are going through the same thing!! I'm with you completely!!

 

I broke up and I'm the heartbroken one too... doesn't it make you feel sad and mad that he isn't...even at least a little tiny bit?... is it possible not to care that much?

 

I saw him yesterday at school... we were hanging out with the same friends....he didn't talk or look at me... but I didn't talk either...didn't know what to say...actually I had nothing to say... still...I made a joke about something that happened a week ago...and he laughed a bit... he was not acting as mad as before... I guess he doesn't have anything to say either... which is ok... I understand that...

 

Keeping NC for 2 months made me suppose that I was over him...I realize I'm not when I see him and all I wanna do is cry cuz I wanna grab him and kiss him...my god he's so handsome... oh! and rip his clothes off ahahah!but I just can't go that...!!! sometimes I wonder how he would react is I actually do rip is clothes ahah!!!

 

it's good to know you're not alone feeling this way!...

 

Another thing that is always on my mind and that I wish I would have told him is that... he was only the second guy I ever slept with...because the first bf I had sex with actually forced me too...I wasnt not ready at that time... but hey what can a girl do with her 175 pounds bf in on top of her...she can't really move...anyway...I'm not saying I was raped...but I cried so much... It was 5 years ago...and I just told me best friend about it...

 

I feel kinda responsable cuz the first time I slept with my ex...the feeling of my first time came back and I started freaking out but didn't tell him....so let me tell you when your first time with a bf is bad...it's hard to recover from it... after we had sex...he kinda lost interest...and me too...cuz I was ashamed of not being good enough for him in bed...anyway... I feel it's my fault our first time was not good enough to keep us both interested... and he was really good...so I felt bad that he didn't has much fun as I did when we would do other things before the sex...anyway... :S I wanted to try again and proove him I coudl be rellll good but didn't have the chance to do that... I knnow sex isn't everything but it's kind of important...

 

thanks!

[swirly27]

Tine,

 

I am very sorry to hear your experiences with your first bf were so negative. That would affect anyone very deeply. Whats a shame though now is your ex now, even if you reacted a bit funny when you guys first had sex, couldn't he tell? Didn't he ask you what was wrong? Did he seem to care? Is that when things went downhill for you two, because if thats what caused the downfall, one uncomfortable sexual experience, then he didn't seem to really care at all about you and your feelings? Let me know if I am way off here.

 

Yes, my break up has been hard on me. I really have no idea what happened but I keep telling myself I may never. I keep blaming myself but when I tell friends and family the whole story, I did nothing wrong in their eyes, this guy is just a coward. I ended up ending things with him in a text message - and I regret that. But I tried talking to him and I tried calling, and after being blown off 3 times in a row, I was just so hurt that I think I wanted a reaction out of him. What sucks is, he did blow me off but when we did talk, he was his nice normal self and kept trying to talk all nicey and romantic and plan when we could see each other next....but not talk about why he blowed off our plans. So who knows. The other HARD thing is this guy is a good friend of one of my girlfriends and I know some of his other friends and he does not have this reputation......when they all heard that we got together, they were all so excited because they all thought we made a great couple and I was a nice girl and he was not a jerk or player......so I guess they didn't know him as well as they thought.

 

Basically, him and I had plans, I asked him to a party that I was going to either way, invited him to go but said it was no big deal, he said he'd love to. Night before the party, I texted him about it and he never answered. The day of the party, I never heard anything and the next day I never heard anything. I couldn't take it anymore and contacted him and he answered and we talked fine - but when I brought up him blowing me off, he did say he was sorry but would rather talk about it face to face - so he said he'd call me the next day after work.....didn't call till 9pm the next night! So, I'm even more annoyed - he talked fine again and now I am doubly hurt because I really like him yet he is being a jerk and I don't want to end things but I didn't deserve the blowing off - I even told him the night before that if this just wasn't working out for him, then he could tell me that and he said NO NO NO. So I gave him an out and he didn't take it. Lastly, he could tell I was uncomfortable with us not having gotten together to talk, so he said he'd get a shower and be over.....and he never showed up. So I sent a text message saying I was sorry things didn't work out for us and to take care. I never heard anything back from him, nothing at all. I even called once a week later to try and smooth it over or have something said or SOMETHING and he didn't answer and never called me back. There is a little more to this but that is the jist of it. He told my friend then later on that I wanted more than he did and just wanted to yell at him!!! He set the pace for us, I let him do most of the calling and plan asking....so for him to say I wanted more is just a cop out.....I don't know what happened, but it sucks because I miss him alot!! Tomorrow will be a month since I have ended it. Its just gonna take time. I feel for you having to still run into him and see him. I haven't seen my ex yet, but if I do I plan on being cordial and acting as if nothing is wrong. Maybe you could try doing that, although it sounds like you already are. Him asking you for an email could be nothing and it probably is nothing. I would just try really hard to get on with your own life, like you have been and soon one day his actions or lack of won't affect you at all. I can't wait for that day!!

[tine_23]

Hi Swirly!

 

Did I write the reply you just wrote...seems like I could have written that ahah!!!

 

I totally understand how you feel... My ex and I were making plans too...he actually told me one night that his mon had hopes again of having grandchildren because I was in his life...and he didn't seem to freak out about that... He took me on a romantic week end and had never done that...I was a first...he had bought me a gift like 5 days after we had started to go out together... (it was a xbox thing but he loves to play so he wanted me to play with him...which I think is really cute and romantic in a way...)...he did all sorts of thing that never would let me think he didn't want to be with me...he even told one of his guy friend (that is my best gf's boyfriend) one night that he didn't know if we were going to be able to see each other that night but he would call me cuz he really wanted to hear my voice and talk to me...!!! I was soooo happy!

 

Then all of a sudden he starts to act all weird...calls less often...doesn't kiss me as much... some of my friends think he freaked out... it might be what you ex did too... since he didn't have the reputation to be a jerk!

 

When I told him I wanted things to end he said he didn't expect it at all and that he had tought that maybe we could start seeing each other like in the beginning...when we would go out dancing or for lunch...like seeing each other once or twice a week....and that we would see from that were it could lead again...cuz he really liked me... but he never called... I got mad...told him a week later he was a jerk to play with me like that and that's when we officially ended things...

 

I don't think I did nothing wrong either... I want my boyfriend to respect me...is it too much to ask for?

 

I personnally thing that he was not ready to handle a serious relationship and that even thought he said he wanted a woman like me that has a strong personnality and that knows what she wants...I don't think he was ready for me either...

 

When we slept together...I didn't let him know that I felt weird and didn't show it so he couldn't find out...and since it was our first time I guess he just thought I was really bad... I just pretty much faked liking it...so he thought everything was ok... I don't know... He did told me he loved me for the first time afterwards so it made me feel better....but now I think he was not really thinking those things when he said it...

 

About that questionnaire thing... I don't think it affected me because it was probably for another girl (i'm not sure...I suppose it is)...I think it affected me because he doesn't talk to for 2 months and then because it's in his benefits to have the questionnaire...he ask for it and is all nice and then goes back to being mad...I just thought it was weird for an ex to ask for that sort of thing...like if I would help him get laid... or something...I wouldn't even ask my ex of 5 years for that kind of thing...maybe it's just me... am I being too polite?

 

Anyway... It's been two months since I broke up...I still think about him sometimes...but I have fun and it's easier to breathe and live then it was like a month ago...so hang on girl!!!

 

tine

[SmoochieFace]

You left him and now you complain that he doesn't seem interested in you. This is another case of a woman breaking up with a guy and then getting upset when he is doing fine without you.

 

...

 

My thoughts exactly. Why is it that SOME (so as to not piss off ALL women... lol...) women have this 'I wanna have my cake and eat it too' mentality?

[swirly27]

Tine,

 

Thats funny that you think we could have written the same replies. Man, these men I tell ya.

 

How long did you and your guy date again? Sorry if I missed that already. See, my guy and I only dated for a month and a half, so I feel stupid already being this upset over someone I dated for a short while, but that happens I guess.

 

My guy was interested in me last year and asked about me throughout the year but he had broken up with an ex last May and my friend said they had a huge history so she didn't advise I date him then, so I didn't. I only saw him one time, but when she saw him, he'd ask about me. Then this past summer we saw him out at a club and he asked about me again....so 2 weekends later, him and I hang out and its WONDERFUL and we click and there are sparks and I know how I felt and from what he told his friends about me, it was mutual. But he was always blah with following thru on phone calls and plans. ALWAYS....so I feel I went with the flow quite good. (he also told my friend I couldn't go with the flow....what he meant was HIS flow) So the following week he asked me to hang out on a saturday and 6 hrs go by and I had to call him twice to see what was up....I should have just went out somewhere else, but there is more to this.....we got along GREAT and could talk and the chemistry was WAY THERE and passion too, but we had fun, laughed, the whole thing....and he talked so greatly about me to his friends. But I questioned about me waiting around for 6 hrs and we talked fine about it I though....talked fine the next 3 days....and that next weekend was the party he blew me off about....and I ended things that monday.....so I am stumped and very hurt! I guess my answer is he obviously doesn't want to see or talk to me....but what a coward! I'd love to think he got spooked and really does care about me but that is just a fantasy of mine. He told my friend that me wanting to talk about stuff reminded him of his ex always yelling at him....BUT I NEVER YELLED, I only spoke calmly....about a situation he caused I might ass. UGH! Its just so frustrating.

 

Did your ex have a bad past relationship or did he ver offer any type of explanation as to why he backed off all of a sudden? Do you mind if I ask how old you and him are? I think for me I am just soooo sick of dating and finding guys that pursue me and seem all into me and then when I feel comfortable with them and want what they want, they back off. All I expected was some respect...and here I am wondering what I did wrong. I am having self esteem problems right now too cause I never heard anything back, so it just feels like I wasn't even worth verbally ending it with, he just disappeared. I am just confused.

 

I am glad you are feeling better though after 2 months. Little setbacks like these will pop up though, especially if you still have feelings for him, which is sounds like you do. Plus, you didn't break up with him because you lost feelings for him, you just weren't being treated fairly. So just keep telling yourself you did the right thing.....thats what I keep trying to tell myself.

[SmoochieFace]

What is your problem people???...Can't you give an opinion without making the person who wrote this thread (ME!) feel like an idiot???

 

I asked (not really actually if you read the theard right I don't even ask for help...).... for opinion not people telling me how I'm the jerk... and if you think I am...there are nice way to say it... like LaraV did...she gave her opinion... I didn't feel judged while reading her...

 

I see... so you really don't want people to give their honest opinions and advice. You want people to tell you what you want to hear. Is that what you want?

 

Why do some people loathe the idea of being told that their thinking is flawed?