Did I overreact?

[L.]

Today is my birthday and my boyfriend called to wish me a happy birthday. Everything was great, then he told me something that really uspet me.

 

Next week he has to go away for a month on business, and when he told me this a few days ago he told me not to worry that he would call me and keep me posted. The country he is going is between a third world and "second" world country, so he didn't know where he would be staying all the time so he said he'd call me. This made me really happy.

 

Well today over the phone he said that instead of calling me from there he would write me. I reacted as if I had been stung by a wasp and yelled, "No! No! NOT on my birthday!" and I slammed the reciever down on him.

 

The reason I was so upset is because he knew how much it meant for him to call me, and to change his mind like that and announce it today seemed cruel and insensitive. Do you think I overreacted?? I feel rotton now and have been crying for hours.

[Chairman of the Bored]

i think you overreacted. tell him you are sorry it hit you the wrong way. i hope he will forgive you and say he is sorry to.

 

happy birthday

Today is my birthday and my boyfriend called to wish me a happy birthday. Everything was great, then he told me something that really uspet me.

 

Next week he has to go away for a month on business, and when he told me this a few days ago he told me not to worry that he would call me and keep me posted. The country he is going is between a third world and "second" world country, so he didn't know where he would be staying all the time so he said he'd call me. This made me really happy. Well today over the phone he said that instead of calling me from there he would write me. I reacted as if I had been stung by a wasp and yelled, "No! No! NOT on my birthday!" and I slammed the reciever down on him. The reason I was so upset is because he knew how much it meant for him to call me, and to change his mind like that and announce it today seemed cruel and insensitive. Do you think I overreacted?? I feel rotton now and have been crying for hours.

[violet]

Well girlfriend, we ARE woman. And getting hysterical and overreacting tends to be something females are good at. And that's a fact. However, if you have hurt feelings, than they are the RIGHT feelings, because they are YOURS. But probably you could have found a better way to express them. And let me just add this: Probably since you gave no explanation of your feelings, and instead just hung up on him, he might have no idea why you are so upset. I wouldn't be surprised!

Today is my birthday and my boyfriend called to wish me a happy birthday. Everything was great, then he told me something that really uspet me.

 

Next week he has to go away for a month on business, and when he told me this a few days ago he told me not to worry that he would call me and keep me posted. The country he is going is between a third world and "second" world country, so he didn't know where he would be staying all the time so he said he'd call me. This made me really happy. Well today over the phone he said that instead of calling me from there he would write me. I reacted as if I had been stung by a wasp and yelled, "No! No! NOT on my birthday!" and I slammed the reciever down on him. The reason I was so upset is because he knew how much it meant for him to call me, and to change his mind like that and announce it today seemed cruel and insensitive. Do you think I overreacted?? I feel rotton now and have been crying for hours.

[Tony T]

Is there a reason maybe he may not be near a telephone on your birthday?

 

Birthday cards and letters are very acceptable forms of expressing birthday greetings. Furthermore, it takes much more work to sit down and pen a letter or card than it does to make a phone call.

 

There is probably a very good reason he can't call you on your birthday.

 

If a girl reacted to me the way you reacted to him, she'd be my EX girlfriend. A guy does not want an emotionally immature and volatile person for a partner. You could at least have given him a chance to explain why he was going to write rather than call. Maybe he was just joking but you'll never know now. You've screwed it all up real bad.

 

Make yourself attractive as a possible mate to someone by taking life...and your BIRFFDAYS...a little less seriously.

 

And, by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY in advance. I'd call you but I don't have your phone number.

[Bored Monitor]

Are you the gal whose BF is going off to Panama for some kind of business dealings that he won't divulge to you? I think the whole thing stinks, personally. Nevermind the fact that he told you of his change of plans on your birthday, what about the fact that he makes a habit of not being totally honest with you (and on a regular basis)? Are you going to spend the month that he's gone, dying inside and stressed to the nines because you don't know if and when you'll hear from him, what he's doing down there and so on? That's not a relationship, that's a joke. But not a funny one. Why would even want to be with a guy who has secretive business dealings in Panama? How do you know he's not involved in illegal/criminal activity? Surely you could find yourself a better man than this, no?

Today is my birthday and my boyfriend called to wish me a happy birthday. Everything was great, then he told me something that really uspet me.

 

Next week he has to go away for a month on business, and when he told me this a few days ago he told me not to worry that he would call me and keep me posted. The country he is going is between a third world and "second" world country, so he didn't know where he would be staying all the time so he said he'd call me. This made me really happy. Well today over the phone he said that instead of calling me from there he would write me. I reacted as if I had been stung by a wasp and yelled, "No! No! NOT on my birthday!" and I slammed the reciever down on him. The reason I was so upset is because he knew how much it meant for him to call me, and to change his mind like that and announce it today seemed cruel and insensitive. Do you think I overreacted?? I feel rotton now and have been crying for hours.

[yes]

He did call her on her bday, saying that when he will be away, he will not be able to call her. her bday is today...

Is there a reason maybe he may not be near a telephone on your birthday? Birthday cards and letters are very acceptable forms of expressing birthday greetings. Furthermore, it takes much more work to sit down and pen a letter or card than it does to make a phone call.

 

There is probably a very good reason he can't call you on your birthday. If a girl reacted to me the way you reacted to him, she'd be my EX girlfriend. A guy does not want an emotionally immature and volatile person for a partner. You could at least have given him a chance to explain why he was going to write rather than call. Maybe he was just joking but you'll never know now. You've screwed it all up real bad. Make yourself attractive as a possible mate to someone by taking life...and your BIRFFDAYS...a little less seriously. And, by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY in advance. I'd call you but I don't have your phone number.

 

[Tony T]

That makes it even worse. If she can't handle the fact that he won't be able to call but will have to write...I feel really sorry for him...not at all for her.

 

He's got a girlfriend who is self centered and not very understanding at all. Being in countries like that is pretty nasty.

[Anthony]

did you over react.... most likely yes.

 

Just to point out that the country he is in might not have an easily accessible phone where he is at or any way to make an international call at a reasonable price.

 

beyond that.. your responce might have been boosted by some hormonal activity... + selfesteem problems... etc.

 

just wait untill he cals back and apologise or if he doesnt

 

you call him and try to make amends.

 

Try asking him what hios reason for changing his communication habits are. Talk it over...

 

Well that what i would try to do if i really cared about someone.

 

anyways good luck

Today is my birthday and my boyfriend called to wish me a happy birthday. Everything was great, then he told me something that really uspet me.

 

Next week he has to go away for a month on business, and when he told me this a few days ago he told me not to worry that he would call me and keep me posted. The country he is going is between a third world and "second" world country, so he didn't know where he would be staying all the time so he said he'd call me. This made me really happy. Well today over the phone he said that instead of calling me from there he would write me. I reacted as if I had been stung by a wasp and yelled, "No! No! NOT on my birthday!" and I slammed the reciever down on him. The reason I was so upset is because he knew how much it meant for him to call me, and to change his mind like that and announce it today seemed cruel and insensitive. Do you think I overreacted?? I feel rotton now and have been crying for hours.

[velvet]

It was dramatic. I bet the crying you did also came from hanging up on him. I would of cried more from hanging up on him over my birthday. You should have listend to him. He didnt forget about you. Instead you made him feel bad. He could of been on his way out to shop for a birthday card and a gift but instead decided not to because of the way you over reacted. You should tell him you over reacted.

Today is my birthday and my boyfriend called to wish me a happy birthday. Everything was great, then he told me something that really uspet me.

 

Next week he has to go away for a month on business, and when he told me this a few days ago he told me not to worry that he would call me and keep me posted. The country he is going is between a third world and "second" world country, so he didn't know where he would be staying all the time so he said he'd call me. This made me really happy. Well today over the phone he said that instead of calling me from there he would write me. I reacted as if I had been stung by a wasp and yelled, "No! No! NOT on my birthday!" and I slammed the reciever down on him. The reason I was so upset is because he knew how much it meant for him to call me, and to change his mind like that and announce it today seemed cruel and insensitive. Do you think I overreacted?? I feel rotton now and have been crying for hours.

[Julia]

My boyfriend has just got back from a month away, which included being away on my birthday...

 

I received a birthday card in the mail on my birthday, but i would have really liked a call....and i talked my feelings to everyone exept my boyfriend...and guess what! He turned up for a surprise visit...and because i expressed and vented feelings to someone else i didnt take it out on him, and we had a wonderful time....

 

When he was away he called for the first week while he had an accessible phone...and wrote letters.....and then he could only write letters...and i tell u, the letters have more emotion than a phonecall could ever have

 

feel grateful that he even wants to contact u..and letters are great! u can read them over and over again!

[L]

I am the same idiot who overreacted to my boyfriend's minor change of plans a couple of days ago on my birthday. (I hung up on him when he said that instead of calling me from Panama he would write..)

 

After that I left a bunch of messages telling him I was sorry but he didn't answer the phone. The next day we talked and he told me that if I had listened to what he was going to say instead of jumping, he was going to tell me that he would call me from there maybe once or twice, but that it was too expensive, so he preferred to write.

 

As you can imagine he was very upset with me and told me he didn't want me to call him anymore, but I pleaded with him and suggested we not have any contact for a month and a half. He accepted this idea and told me that he wanted me to learn a lesson from my behavior, and by not having contact for the duration of his trip it would serve as a "punishment" which I would benifit from in the future.

 

That this would serve as his "lesson" to me. At the same time he told me he wanted me to write him letters telling him what I was doing and how I was coping and as soon as he gets back he will read them all and then call me.

 

I asked if he was going to write me at all from Panama, and he said, "Don't push, and don't expect it..I can't promise that now..."

 

I cried and he told me he loved me and forgave me, but he wanted me to "be strong" and that it was necessary to do this. He said that if he doesn't call me by the end of the month and a half, it will mean he is dead. So I asked him, "what if something like that happened? Couldn't you tell your daughter to call me?"

 

and he responded that it wouldn't happen...

 

Then he told me a parable about a bunch of cats who were trained to be waiters in a restaurant. THese cats learned to serve drinks, meals ect. just like humans. One day somebody pulled a mouse out and immediately all the cats dropped their food platters and chased the mouse...

 

His message to me was "Don't ruin everything just because of a mouse."

 

Anyhow, I was just wondering if he is being overly severe in his treatment of me, or if you think it is good. I have mixed feelings about it all.

[C.R.Y.S.T.A.L.]

all i can say is that would make me feel like a little kid being patronized but that's just me.

I am the same idiot who overreacted to my boyfriend's minor change of plans a couple of days ago on my birthday. (I hung up on him when he said that instead of calling me from Panama he would write..) After that I left a bunch of messages telling him I was sorry but he didn't answer the phone. The next day we talked and he told me that if I had listened to what he was going to say instead of jumping, he was going to tell me that he would call me from there maybe once or twice, but that it was too expensive, so he preferred to write.

 

As you can imagine he was very upset with me and told me he didn't want me to call him anymore, but I pleaded with him and suggested we not have any contact for a month and a half. He accepted this idea and told me that he wanted me to learn a lesson from my behavior, and by not having contact for the duration of his trip it would serve as a "punishment" which I would benifit from in the future. That this would serve as his "lesson" to me. At the same time he told me he wanted me to write him letters telling him what I was doing and how I was coping and as soon as he gets back he will read them all and then call me. I asked if he was going to write me at all from Panama, and he said, "Don't push, and don't expect it..I can't promise that now..."

 

I cried and he told me he loved me and forgave me, but he wanted me to "be strong" and that it was necessary to do this. He said that if he doesn't call me by the end of the month and a half, it will mean he is dead. So I asked him, "what if something like that happened? Couldn't you tell your daughter to call me?"

 

and he responded that it wouldn't happen...

 

Then he told me a parable about a bunch of cats who were trained to be waiters in a restaurant. THese cats learned to serve drinks, meals ect. just like humans. One day somebody pulled a mouse out and immediately all the cats dropped their food platters and chased the mouse... His message to me was "Don't ruin everything just because of a mouse." Anyhow, I was just wondering if he is being overly severe in his treatment of me, or if you think it is good. I have mixed feelings about it all.

[Laurynn]

L,

 

No, I don't think you overreacted to your shady boyfriend telling you the day of your birthday that he wouldn't be phoning you while down doing God-knows-what in Panama, but that he'd write you instead. YOU DID NOT OVERREACT.

 

This guy is a controlling, manipulating ABUSER. A B U S E R.

 

Someone doesn't have to hit your smack you around to be an abuser. A person can be emotionally and mentally abused, which is EXACTLY what he's doing to you, and HAS been doing to you from the time you started to see him.

 

I wish with all my heart you would contact a local Battered Women's Shelter in your area...just call them up on the phone (It's anonymous)....and explain what you're going through. They have women volunteers there who would be GLAD to talk to you........they've been in your shoes (have suffered some form of abuse at the hands of a man, have LIVED IT!). I wish you would realize that you're in a very toxic, unhealthy, one-sided, ABUSIVE relationship.

 

When you REALLY LOVE someone, you don't "teach them lessons" or "punish them" or withhold contact from them as a way of getting them to realize their behavior was wrong (wrong to who?). That is sadistic, selfish, cruel, UNloving, abusive, twisted and creepy.

 

You need to get to the point where you realize for yourself that your boyfriend is a LOSER. He's deceptive, secretive, he's in total control here, he calls all the shots, and he treats you worse than dirt.

 

What are you even GETTING from this relationship?

 

So now he's going to be gone for 6 weeks, and the rat b*stard is not only NOT going to phone you (to teach you a lesson), he won't allow you to call him and he won't even read the letters you write to him while there, but he still wants you to write him?

 

The guy is a sick f*ck, I don't even know how else to explain it. You are obviously already so brainwashed and manipulated that you're just not able to see things clearly or with the least bit of objectivity (and I'm not putting you down for this cuz I have been in your shoes before, and I understand).

 

A relationship is supposed to be one in which both partners are EQUAL partners.....where EACH one is treated with dignity, respect, consideration, love and HONESTY. This man is a deranged, heartless, unhealthy individual who clearly has no respect for women, namely you. He is damaged goods and at his age, he will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER change. The longer you stay with him, the more miserable you'll be...and the tie between you two will increase (on your end) and you'll never be able to emotionally break free.

 

Please...call up a shelter.....just talk to them......the gals who volunteer/work at these places are worth their weight in gold. They are the ONLY ones who really understand about abuse, and the hold an abusive a**h*** can have over a woman (plus those of us who've been in these shoes). I'd also suggest getting some professional counselling....you could ask the shelter if they recommend anyone who specifically deals with abusive men/abuse on women.

 

L

[Tony T]

You always have a way of sayin' things...so I can understand...

[yes]

uhhh.... hit the breaks... this guy is not as bad as u make him sound.

 

if someone hung up on me just cuz i said i wont be able to call much while im in a diff. country, i'd simply think they're too mentally unstable and dump them... so he's being nice sticking around her

 

thats my view

 

-yes

L, No, I don't think you overreacted to your shady boyfriend telling you the day of your birthday that he wouldn't be phoning you while down doing God-knows-what in Panama, but that he'd write you instead. YOU DID NOT OVERREACT. This guy is a controlling, manipulating ABUSER. A B U S E R. Someone doesn't have to hit your smack you around to be an abuser. A person can be emotionally and mentally abused, which is EXACTLY what he's doing to you, and HAS been doing to you from the time you started to see him. I wish with all my heart you would contact a local Battered Women's Shelter in your area...just call them up on the phone (It's anonymous)....and explain what you're going through. They have women volunteers there who would be GLAD to talk to you........they've been in your shoes (have suffered some form of abuse at the hands of a man, have LIVED IT!). I wish you would realize that you're in a very toxic, unhealthy, one-sided, ABUSIVE relationship. When you REALLY LOVE someone, you don't "teach them lessons" or "punish them" or withhold contact from them as a way of getting them to realize their behavior was wrong (wrong to who?). That is sadistic, selfish, cruel, UNloving, abusive, twisted and creepy. You need to get to the point where you realize for yourself that your boyfriend is a LOSER. He's deceptive, secretive, he's in total control here, he calls all the shots, and he treats you worse than dirt. What are you even GETTING from this relationship?

 

So now he's going to be gone for 6 weeks, and the rat b*stard is not only NOT going to phone you (to teach you a lesson), he won't allow you to call him and he won't even read the letters you write to him while there, but he still wants you to write him? The guy is a sick f*ck, I don't even know how else to explain it. You are obviously already so brainwashed and manipulated that you're just not able to see things clearly or with the least bit of objectivity (and I'm not putting you down for this cuz I have been in your shoes before, and I understand). A relationship is supposed to be one in which both partners are EQUAL partners.....where EACH one is treated with dignity, respect, consideration, love and HONESTY. This man is a deranged, heartless, unhealthy individual who clearly has no respect for women, namely you. He is damaged goods and at his age, he will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER change. The longer you stay with him, the more miserable you'll be...and the tie between you two will increase (on your end) and you'll never be able to emotionally break free. Please...call up a shelter.....just talk to them......the gals who volunteer/work at these places are worth their weight in gold. They are the ONLY ones who really understand about abuse, and the hold an abusive a**h*** can have over a woman (plus those of us who've been in these shoes). I'd also suggest getting some professional counselling....you could ask the shelter if they recommend anyone who specifically deals with abusive men/abuse on women. L

[Laurynn]

There's a lot more to this 'relationship' than you obviously know. This guy has a long history of treating "L" like crap. And if you want to talk about mental instability, a stable man doesn't "punish" his girlfriend or "withhold contact from her for 6 weeks while off in a volatile country" as a way of "teaching her a lesson." You don't even treat a dog that way.

[Ariadne]

L-

 

I don't like this 'punishment' stuff. It's immature, and it will only get worse. Reminds me of an ex...

 

I think there's more to the story for you to lose your temper over this guy AND his reaction.

 

Do you really want to be in a relationship with a person who will probably hold this (and any other transgressions (real or imagined) over you the rest of your lives?

 

And why did you overreact? I think there's a definate communication problem, which is a symptom of things to come.

 

Try stepping back and evaluating the situation. I don't think relationships should be a power struggle.

 

But it sounds like he has you even more hooked when he pushes you away. You are now pleading?

 

I think you should dump him.

 

He's bringing out the worse in you, and you are allowing it.

 

It will not get any better unless you put an end to it.

 

Good luck.

[velvet]

I dont believe it. He's full of it. He will be calling sooner than you think. But he does sound controlling.

 

How tough are you. You can wallow in it and cry or you can just let it be and let him do the work to make the amends.

 

I dont believe in tough love, it's obsolete.

 

He knows hes got you wrapped as long as you keep up the drama. Dont be dramatic, dont cry, pick the fights that are worth it. This is too much over a phone hang up. Your heart & mind is tougher than you think. Hes playing with you. You can try not talking to him for a month. If he wants to play dead. You can make yourslef look dead too.

 

I may not be helping, but just be strong.

I am the same idiot who overreacted to my boyfriend's minor change of plans a couple of days ago on my birthday. (I hung up on him when he said that instead of calling me from Panama he would write..) After that I left a bunch of messages telling him I was sorry but he didn't answer the phone. The next day we talked and he told me that if I had listened to what he was going to say instead of jumping, he was going to tell me that he would call me from there maybe once or twice, but that it was too expensive, so he preferred to write.

 

As you can imagine he was very upset with me and told me he didn't want me to call him anymore, but I pleaded with him and suggested we not have any contact for a month and a half. He accepted this idea and told me that he wanted me to learn a lesson from my behavior, and by not having contact for the duration of his trip it would serve as a "punishment" which I would benifit from in the future. That this would serve as his "lesson" to me. At the same time he told me he wanted me to write him letters telling him what I was doing and how I was coping and as soon as he gets back he will read them all and then call me. I asked if he was going to write me at all from Panama, and he said, "Don't push, and don't expect it..I can't promise that now..."

 

I cried and he told me he loved me and forgave me, but he wanted me to "be strong" and that it was necessary to do this. He said that if he doesn't call me by the end of the month and a half, it will mean he is dead. So I asked him, "what if something like that happened? Couldn't you tell your daughter to call me?"

 

and he responded that it wouldn't happen...

 

Then he told me a parable about a bunch of cats who were trained to be waiters in a restaurant. THese cats learned to serve drinks, meals ect. just like humans. One day somebody pulled a mouse out and immediately all the cats dropped their food platters and chased the mouse... His message to me was "Don't ruin everything just because of a mouse." Anyhow, I was just wondering if he is being overly severe in his treatment of me, or if you think it is good. I have mixed feelings about it all.

[L (pathetic me!!)]

Thank you everyone for being so supportive!!

 

I just want to quote the letter I sent him and see what you think, as I'm sure he will get it before he leaves for Panama.

 

Dear _____,

 

All the tears of sorrow from my bleeding heart wouldn't be enough to fill the ocean...I am paying the price of my actions most severly now, and the best consolation for me is the fact that time is moving forward with every breath I take, and with every beat of my heart.

 

You are teaching me a HUGE lesson which I will be grateful for the rest of my life...

 

YOu have set me free from the heavy burden I was carrying, and now I must learn to fly- to soar.

 

I have NO CHOICE but to use this opportunity to learn and grow! I must concentrate better on my studies, go back into the world I left so long ago... Come back to myself which I abandoned. Why did I do this? Why was I so afraid? so insecure? WHy did I have to take it out on you?

 

I will have to work thru all these questions now that you have given me the space I so much needed, but was too terrified of letting go....to scared of taking the plunge into unfamiliar waters.

 

Thank you _____ for giving me what I was too afraid to do on my own.

 

THese first few days will be difficult and I will fight the urge to fall back into old patterns, but once the days start moving it will get easier..

 

(You know what I think and it is non necessary to repeat myself over again)

 

I want to say goodbye, but I can't find the way to do it...Okay I'll say it:

 

"Dos Vidania!" There I said it.

 

L

 

PS Have a safe trip

 

After sending this on Monday I suddenly got scared that he might think I was leaving him, so I sent another short note that went like this:

 

Dear ------

 

I hope the last letter didn't sound too cold. I just wanted you to see I was strong. I love you very much and you are one of the most important people in my life. I will be waiting for you after your return.

 

yours always,

 

L

 

As you can see I am very mixed up here and right now I am looking for consolation, ANYTHING!!

 

What do you think his reaction to these letters will be?

 

Sorry for being so pathetic, I can't help it right now.

 

L

[yes]

Lemme give u some advice - yes, be strong, yes, learn, and, along the way, dump the guy. it doesnt matter what his reaction is. he isnt important right now - U r!

 

i believe u need to be single and alone in order to learn to be secure, emotionally stable, etc ...

 

speaking from personal experience!

 

good luck,

 

yes

Thank you everyone for being so supportive!!

 

I just want to quote the letter I sent him and see what you think, as I'm sure he will get it before he leaves for Panama. Dear _____, All the tears of sorrow from my bleeding heart wouldn't be enough to fill the ocean...I am paying the price of my actions most severly now, and the best consolation for me is the fact that time is moving forward with every breath I take, and with every beat of my heart. You are teaching me a HUGE lesson which I will be grateful for the rest of my life... YOu have set me free from the heavy burden I was carrying, and now I must learn to fly- to soar. I have NO CHOICE but to use this opportunity to learn and grow! I must concentrate better on my studies, go back into the world I left so long ago... Come back to myself which I abandoned. Why did I do this? Why was I so afraid? so insecure? WHy did I have to take it out on you? I will have to work thru all these questions now that you have given me the space I so much needed, but was too terrified of letting go....to scared of taking the plunge into unfamiliar waters.

 

Thank you _____ for giving me what I was too afraid to do on my own. THese first few days will be difficult and I will fight the urge to fall back into old patterns, but once the days start moving it will get easier..

 

(You know what I think and it is non necessary to repeat myself over again) I want to say goodbye, but I can't find the way to do it...Okay I'll say it: "Dos Vidania!" There I said it.

 

L PS Have a safe trip After sending this on Monday I suddenly got scared that he might think I was leaving him, so I sent another short note that went like this:

 

Dear ------ I hope the last letter didn't sound too cold. I just wanted you to see I was strong. I love you very much and you are one of the most important people in my life. I will be waiting for you after your return. yours always, L As you can see I am very mixed up here and right now I am looking for consolation, ANYTHING!!

 

What do you think his reaction to these letters will be? Sorry for being so pathetic, I can't help it right now. L

[Tony T]

You've got a lot to learn about love. Your first letter is pitiful.

 

When you have these kinds of things to say, it's much better to wait until you see the person in the flesh. Second best way is to talk on the phone.

 

Please try not to write something like this again. Best thing to do when you've got a "bleeding heart" is to wait a few weeks until it's not so bad before you decide on what action to take.

[L]

You've got a lot to learn about love. Your first letter is pitiful.

If my first letter is pitiful, does that mean my second letter is better?? Sorry to be a bit "slow" here, but can you please explain more what you mean Tony?

 

Thanks

[clia]

You ask "What do you think his reaction to these letters

 

will be?"

 

Well, I don't know what HIS reaction will be, but I'll tell you mine...

 

In your first letter, you rather dramatically "dumped" him and insinuated that you were moving on in your life without him. Then in your second letter, you said that you "wanted him to see that you were strong", but "that you will be waiting for his return." Those are conflicting statements. You seem to want him to think you are strong, yet you are still waiting for him. To be strong, you have to tell him to have a nice time in Panama, that you are moving on with your life, and see ya later, buddy.

 

No offense, but you sound nuts. If I received a series of letters like this, the words that would come to my mind are "drama queen" and "psycho." Men don't tend to like either. I agree with Tony that you should've waited until you calmed down before taking any action.

 

But, since it's done, the only thing you can do is wait and see what his reaction is. Maybe you've acted this way with him before and he's used to it. But frankly, given your past posts, I'm not sure why you want him to stick around anyway. He seems to be causing you nothing but grief. Why don't you sit down and write out everything about him that you love and see how far you get. You just might be surprised.

Thank you everyone for being so supportive!!

 

I just want to quote the letter I sent him and see what you think, as I'm sure he will get it before he leaves for Panama. Dear _____, All the tears of sorrow from my bleeding heart wouldn't be enough to fill the ocean...I am paying the price of my actions most severly now, and the best consolation for me is the fact that time is moving forward with every breath I take, and with every beat of my heart. You are teaching me a HUGE lesson which I will be grateful for the rest of my life... YOu have set me free from the heavy burden I was carrying, and now I must learn to fly- to soar. I have NO CHOICE but to use this opportunity to learn and grow! I must concentrate better on my studies, go back into the world I left so long ago... Come back to myself which I abandoned. Why did I do this? Why was I so afraid? so insecure? WHy did I have to take it out on you? I will have to work thru all these questions now that you have given me the space I so much needed, but was too terrified of letting go....to scared of taking the plunge into unfamiliar waters.

 

Thank you _____ for giving me what I was too afraid to do on my own. THese first few days will be difficult and I will fight the urge to fall back into old patterns, but once the days start moving it will get easier..

 

(You know what I think and it is non necessary to repeat myself over again) I want to say goodbye, but I can't find the way to do it...Okay I'll say it: "Dos Vidania!" There I said it.

 

L PS Have a safe trip After sending this on Monday I suddenly got scared that he might think I was leaving him, so I sent another short note that went like this:

 

Dear ------ I hope the last letter didn't sound too cold. I just wanted you to see I was strong. I love you very much and you are one of the most important people in my life. I will be waiting for you after your return. yours always, L As you can see I am very mixed up here and right now I am looking for consolation, ANYTHING!!

 

What do you think his reaction to these letters will be? Sorry for being so pathetic, I can't help it right now. L

[Tony T]

Don't ever get down on your knees an grovel, either in writing or in person. WAIT for some time to pass so those feelings pass and then you can deal with situations more rationally.

 

Men just don't like receiving letters that are so...I don't know what word to use...sorry. You'll learn one day. I had to learn the same thing in dealing with women.

[PooPoo Bear]

My reaction after perusing this text is to run to the bathroom in response to a severe gag reflex...

 

Here's a hint for future referrence - Keep vomitous rantings like this to the confines of a private journal - We're all guilty of going over the deep end once in a while, after all... Carefully edited-for-content, re- and re-written versions of the same sentiments can (Sometimes) be deemed safe for delivery to the intended victim...

 

("All the tears of sorrow from my bleeding heart wouldn't be enough to fill the ocean..."??? Ick...)

 

And to "thank" someone for punishing you? For the deepest crime of - What was it again? Sharing your feelings - Baring your pain to someone with whom you supposedly share a emotional bond? For being honest about feeling hurt?

 

How dare you???

 

Give him or anyone such power over you, that is...