prefer not to say Posted February 2, 2002 Share Posted February 2, 2002 what do you do, when you look at your life and can't find anything right with it?...relationships, work, friends, family...everything is messed up.....I just dont know where to start or how to start to change and start living a life that I like and am happy with.....can anyone help me?? thanks Link to post Share on other sites
C.R.Y.S.T.A.L. Posted February 2, 2002 Share Posted February 2, 2002 the first thing that comes to my mind is getting religion. that does help alot even if you are not religious you can still have a higher power that you pray to when things are not going good. you can pick one thing in your life that you really enjoy and or are really interested in and become an expert in that subject. that always gives one a sense of accomplishment and esteems your self. i always recommend reading good books as well. going to the self-help section in your local library can give you ideas that you may need some work on that can help you to feel better about your self. hope this helps. what do you do, when you look at your life and can't find anything right with it?...relationships, work, friends, family...everything is messed up.....I just dont know where to start or how to start to change and start living a life that I like and am happy with.....can anyone help me?? thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 2, 2002 Share Posted February 2, 2002 When things get bad enough, you'll change your entire life...one thing at a time...until you feel good about it. Must not be bad enough yet. Link to post Share on other sites
sparkle Posted February 2, 2002 Share Posted February 2, 2002 I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time. Take a deep breath and a few steps backward...don't attempt to fix everything at once. Your life may feel totally upside down and in need of a serious makeover. However, if you try to solve all your problems at once, you'll only feel overwhelmed and discouraged. Take each negative situation, one by one, break it down, find out the underlying problem, and set some immediate goals to fix it. Why not email us back and be specific about everything that's wrong, and describe in more detail what's bothering you... That way, we can hopefully offer you some better advice. Link to post Share on other sites
boomerang Posted February 2, 2002 Share Posted February 2, 2002 Have you tried talking to a counselor? I know that my health clinic has counselors for short term treatment for free. I think you probably need some help in that field. Cognitive therapy works miracles. I went through a phase where nothing seemed to satisfy me. I read some books on cognitive therapy (that boosts your positive thinking) and I looked really hard for things to stimulate my appetite for (everyday) life. And i found them in my work place. I am a peoples' person so I volunteered to organize career workshops, mixers, things like that. Try to find that one stimulating thing in your life that matches your needs and character and all of a sudden you'll find the energy to do everything else in your life and enjoy it. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
rEaLitY BiTeS Posted February 3, 2002 Share Posted February 3, 2002 The most confusing part, as you have mentioned, is where to start. Been there myself, just recently as a matter of fact. Generally, the most logical thing is to CHANGE the things in your life that are making you unhappy. Do this ONE STEP AT A TIME. I'll let you in on a little secret...I am currently unhappy in the city I am living in. I have been for a long time, except I can't afford to leave there yet because I have debts to pay off, which means I cannot budge at all yet. I am in a major city, yet I am just not happy. I have also been rather unhappy with the status of my love-life (or lack thereof) for a while too. Last year, I changed jobs because I felt that where I was just was not leading me anywhere...and that included work friendships, my role in general etc. I am now in a new job. That was mission number 1 accomplished. I am meeting new people in my job. Mission number 2 underway. I am on a much better wage and I am saving my little butt off to relocate to a place where I know I will fit in so much better. Also, I will finally be able to move away from my family. I love them very much, but I am terribly stifled living with them and I need my own space and time. I am also clashing (and have been for some time) with my only sibling who has lost respect for other people in the household. I had to think long and hard about where it made sense to start first. My reasoning was: I'm not happy where I have to be 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I need more money, a wage that I deserve. I will find a job that I am happy in, that pays what I am looking for. Then, I can get some outstanding bills out of the way, meet my monthly debt repayments and at the same time, have a smart savings plan. I have worked out the amount of money I can afford to save per week (after debts, necessities, spending etc). In approx 1.5 to 2 years, I will be able to move interstate and start my life in a place where I know I will be happy. In the whole scheme of things, it seems rather daunting, but the minute you get 'a masterplan' underway, you will be amazed at how relieved you will feel that you have set yourself a goal and that you know is 100% attainable...IF YOU STICK TO IT. Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted February 3, 2002 Share Posted February 3, 2002 First what you must do is find somwhere your comfortable, try something relaxing. Its all a state of mind. Draw a bath fill it with soaps and bath beeds, light some candles and dim the lights. Soak your troubles a way. Just an example. But you asked where to start. It starts in your mind. And what better place than somewhere comforting. You have to take your mind off whats bothering you before nature can help. consuming yourslef with anxieties will only do the opposite, and make things worse. Forget about the family, the r/s, work. Just for a bit. Heal yourself. Relax first, tell your family, your companion, the dishes, what ever you need to take some "ME TIME" and do something that doenst require any stress and relax. It will come to you then. what do you do, when you look at your life and can't find anything right with it?...relationships, work, friends, family...everything is messed up.....I just dont know where to start or how to start to change and start living a life that I like and am happy with.....can anyone help me?? thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Woman Posted February 3, 2002 Share Posted February 3, 2002 My life has been topsy turvy for a long time. You definitely need to take time for yourself. That is one of the most important things you can do. Always make time for yourself no matter what the circumstances. I have gone through a few periods in my life when everything just seemed so screwed up. I think I was on the verge of a total breakdown. I used to wake up and wonder how my life became the mess that it was. You just have to do the best you can with what you have. You can make changes little by little and start by doing one thing at a time. When you feel like you have one thing under control then work on another. If you still are not happy with the outcome, try something else. You may be doing something(have habits) that keep you in undesirable situations. Change your job or go to school to find a new career. Make friends, join an organization, go to counseling if you think it may help you. what do you do, when you look at your life and can't find anything right with it?...relationships, work, friends, family...everything is messed up.....I just dont know where to start or how to start to change and start living a life that I like and am happy with.....can anyone help me?? thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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