I need a list

[Touche]

see what a snarky lil man he is....... what a shame.

 

FYI Touche and I did a how to train a man post long ago....

so I don't think you got the joke.

 

Yes, that was what I was alluding to..it wasn't meant to be an insult at all. And boy did we get flack on that "training" thread. It was so ridiculous.

 

I'd GUARANTEE that in ANY good marriage some "training" has gone on. People don't just automatically know through osmosis how to treat each other in a way that will ensure long-term success. It's absolutely a learning process. And YES, there's TRAINING going on..on BOTH sides. If it's done right that is.

[a4a]

Touche......I DON"T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH WHAT A4A IS DOING!!!!

 

BUT:

 

I see EVERYTHING wrong with talking smack, giving a date, then expecting people not to ask about it....

 

I did not say I did not expect people to ask.... I said I wasn't really even thinking about it.

 

I see EVERYTHING wrong with a wife not treating her husband as an equal to say the least.....

I don't get this at all..... wtf are you talking about? I treat him very well 99% of the time and I do see him as my equal. Do you live with us? Do you?

 

And no he did not treat me equally as good as I treated him.... he said that himself..... HE SAID IT....... again do you live here.... or your wife maybe doesn't do the things I do for my H so you cannot believe it? Well we do exist, the woman that do give a bj without prodding, cooks breakfasts, warms towels, buys tires, and rubs feet.

 

 

I see EVERYTHING wrong when one places blame on someone else, and owns up to none of it.....

Wrong, I have taken many many years to look at myself and where and how I need to improve. Even in conversations with you here on LS..... I look and say why is he reacting to me this way...... what did I do wrong to make him so upset. But I throw in the towel on this one as You described yourself more than me in this quote Ahab.

 

I see EVERYTHING wrong when one's shortcomings is always brought up and re-hashed....

 

I think maybe your own shortcomings are making you take this thread in such a personal manner..... I can see no other reason why you would be so inclined to turn this into a long drawn out thing..... I am not understanding your motivation..... what is your motive, why the need to keep doing this?

 

I see EVERYTHING wrong when people paint a perfect picture and tries to make everyone believe they were the Author....

What that things worked out because I busted my ass getting the ball rolling on this? I have posted he chose to do the reading on his own, listened..... this makes no sense. Yes I did have to work very hard to get him to address the problem.....so yes I do take credit on getting the R back on track and it is still a work in progress for him and for myself.

 

I see EVERYTHING wrong when a person refuses to listen to reason due to a personal conflict.....

 

Man...... you are not handing out anything reasonable to listen to. except I lied here about my M. I am doomed in my M. I am basically wrong wrong wrong..... but how is that if it is working? Perhaps wrong for you but not for my M.

 

The ultimatium did work...... it forced him to decide to address the problem, read the book, download info...... it did work. Why is that so hard for you to accept...... because you simply do not want your own wife to do this to you...... you don't want anyone telling you what to do? I did not tell him what to do I said I was not happy it needs to be fixed and I want a limit on the amount of time it needs to be fixed in...... nothing wrong with that. His choice as well. I know he is man enough to say NO or YES..... at least I give him a choice to decide what he wants. I do not hide it, or pretend everything is ok..... I got a feeling your own M is not so hot Moose, and maybe that is why you need the validation here.

[a4a]

Give me a flippin' break!!!

 

I don't have time to go cut and paste all of them....but you know full well this isn't true....

 

I love you!!! I am going to just love you from this point on.... I am going to love your imperfect self from this point on and just realize you are a human in need........I cannot figure out what it is you want from me so I will just love you the way you are....................... love..................

 

Love love love love......

[a4a]

Yes, that was what I was alluding to..it wasn't meant to be an insult at all. And boy did we get flack on that "training" thread. It was so ridiculous.

 

I'd GUARANTEE that in ANY good marriage some "training" has gone on. People don't just automatically know through osmosis how to treat each other in a way that will ensure long-term success. It's absolutely a learning process. And YES, there's TRAINING going on..on BOTH sides. If it's done right that is.

 

Well I had a hard time getting him to enjoy the biscuits at first but I figured out if I gave the other animals the biscuits first he then decided he did want them.....

 

yeah it is like training a horse or a dog....... I mean you cannot expect them to know what you want from them unless you show them first and show them in a way they understand. Minus the biscuits of course.

[Moose]

I did not say I did not expect people to ask.... I said I wasn't really even thinking about it.

I was talking about the comments you made:

Do you people really want to know that bad? I mean come on..... I thought guys did not watch soaps?

Add the insults:

I think you are out to attempt to prove me wrong to validate your own decisions and way of life.......... are you jealous or what?.....

I don't get this at all..... wtf are you talking about? I treat him very well 99% of the time and I do see him as my equal. Do you live with us? Do you?

No I don't live with you. I can only see the part of your life that you PAINT on here:

I allow him to cuddle with me. / I let him hold my hand /

I allow him to drive my truck / Just because other people may think he is a great guy does not mean that he lives up to my expectations or desires. / I have high standards for any person I get involved with, my choice. I wish to be treated in a manner in which I desire. Just as I treat him in a manner in which he desires.

THEN, more insults:

or your wife maybe doesn't do the things I do for my H so you cannot believe it? Well we do exist, the woman that do give a bj without prodding, cooks breakfasts, warms towels, buys tires, and rubs feet.

You're constantly trying to flip this around on me aren't you??

 

I did have my own shortcomings, I did have problems in my marriage. I've experienced what you're marriage is going through almost to the letter.

 

I'm now a councelour for over a dozen married couples in our Church, been married nearly 20 years, have 5 wonderful kids, and a wife that is completely satisified with her husband and her life.......

 

SO.....get off this kick that there's some underlining problem in MY life causing me to post replies.....

 

I do have a particular interest in your marriage because I"VE SEEN THIS BEFORE....I EXPERIENCED THIS BEFORE....I see it in other couples too......

 

And EVERYTIME....not some percentage, but EVERYTIME and in every instance, things like making lists, deadlines, demands, trying to change a person's behaviour BLOWS UP IN THEIR FACES!!!!

 

Sure.....things are peachy now a4a.....but it WILL come to a head again!!!

 

You are trying to come off as this business tycoon with her own money, houses, employees, horses, monster truck.....you're farts don't even stink for kripes sake........you CAN"T DO ANYTHING WRONG AND EVERYTHING WRONG IN YOUR MARRIAGE IS ALL ON YOUR HUSBAND!!!!

 

Well.....that mentality is what draws me to your posts....YOU'RE NOT ALL THAT...and unless you realize this.....your outlook is pretty bleek.....

 

You can mark my words.......

[a4a]

I was talking about the comments you made:Add the insults:No I don't live with you. I can only see the part of your life that you PAINT on here:THEN, more insults:You're constantly trying to flip this around on me aren't you??

 

No I am trying to understand your motivation to continue to beat this dead horse.

 

I did have my own shortcomings, I did have problems in my marriage. I've experienced what you're marriage is going through almost to the letter.

No again we are totally a different couple, no alcoholism, no religion, no accidental pregnancy, no forced marriage due to pregnancy..... so different so huge major differences in background, current desires, and life in general.

 

I'm now a councelour for over a dozen married couples in our Church, been married nearly 20 years, have 5 wonderful kids, and a wife that is completely satisified with her husband and her life.......

 

So do you councel people based on the bible and is this your motive that marriage should follow the teaching in the bible and why you are having a hard time accepting that one could reach a marital goal outside the guidelines of the bible....... again looking for your motive to beat the dead horse... why shun success .... regardless of how it is reached?

 

SO.....get off this kick that there's some underlining problem in MY life causing me to post replies.....

 

again looking for motive....... and I don't care how perfect your marriage is or life.... there is always room to make it a little bit better.

 

I do have a particular interest in your marriage because I"VE SEEN THIS BEFORE....I EXPERIENCED THIS BEFORE....I see it in other couples too......

 

Where is BO when I need her to sum up a psychological theory for me? I think you are projecting your own problems onto mine to try to validate your own life..... again different ideals, different life, different desires........ not the same. I don't want a man that makes more $, I don't want kids...... different.

 

And EVERYTIME....not some percentage, but EVERYTIME and in every instance, things like making lists, deadlines, demands, trying to change a person's behaviour BLOWS UP IN THEIR FACES!!!!

 

Ok so a discussion with a spouse about financial matters involving deadlines and goals will blow up in your face..... goals with deadlines to meet those goals..... saying or demanding that a problem be addressed is wrong.. ok... your right ignore it and it will fix itself... yep.

 

Sure.....things are peachy now a4a.....but it WILL come to a head again!!!

I am sure something will, could be from illness, accident, or maybe a disagreement...... but learning to deal with it together is what has been done here and will help down the road.

 

You are trying to come off as this business tycoon with her own money, houses, employees, horses, monster truck.....you're farts don't even stink for kripes sake........you CAN"T DO ANYTHING WRONG AND EVERYTHING WRONG IN YOUR MARRIAGE IS ALL ON YOUR HUSBAND!!!!

 

Hey I just pay my own bills, thats all. Nobody ever paid them for me. I don't have a monster truck.... gawd no!!! yes I do have lots of horses.... yep, building a house now so what...... it comes up in conversation. I am far from a business tycoon.... :lmao: again wtf are you jealous? I chase cows too....... is that lofty and arrogant? I stepped in a huge cow pie this morn as a matter a fact... how richy rich of me to do so :lmao: I also shop at the thrift store........so what...... Is there nothing you like about me? Nothing?

 

As for blaming it all on the H I never did.....again how many times have I said I ask him what can I do to make him happier.... I often ask, and I do my best to do so.

 

Well.....that mentality is what draws me to your posts....YOU'RE NOT ALL THAT...and unless you realize this.....your outlook is pretty bleek.....

 

I am sorry I totally disagree. I never said I am all that, but when I find a fault with myself or my treatment of others I attempt to find out why and correct it. As I said before you get the reaction you deserve. I must deserve this reaction from you for some reason.... I have not found a way to get you to understand my message at all. If a horse will not do what I want it to it is my fault..... I did apply this technique after exhausting all others.

 

I think perhaps you think I am like one of your church couples..... like I said there is no screaming here..... there is discussion..... point blank discussion, no hiding of feelings either..... I am hurt I say I am hurt.... I don't stomp about or cry. There is no forced anything here...... we will not burn in hell if we divorced, we will not sin, we choose to be with eachother..... 100% free will..... see there is a difference when you have no worries or force... I mean is it not even more demanding to tell someone God will smite you if you do this or that... is that not the ultimate ultimatum? Really the threat of eternal hell is not the ultimate ultimatium?

 

I have no financial hold over my H, I have nothing to really threaten him with, no kids here, no threat to take his home or business..... nothing.... so if you think about it he really was not even threatened with much at all...... unless me being out of his life is the ultimate threat.... but believe me he is attractive and could certainly find companionship if I did leave..... so it is indeed his choice to make a change. I don't think I put a hex on him I think he can decide for himself.... he has lived alone before and has plenty of friends and even women that would jump his bones.

 

Again I ask if I meet his needs and how I can improve... yep point blank in those exact words...... and more. What can I do to make you happy today and long term..... what do you need, want, goals I can help you achieve.

 

Maybe unlike your other couples I actually say and ask these things..... so I would say yes I am more aware of his needs and meet them then he is of mine. As in our discussions concious effort can create unconcious habits......

 

You can mark my words

....

 

oh geeze..... mark my words :rolleyes: If that ain't a remark from a person with a holier than tho attitude I don't know what is..... perhaps the need to control as well.

 

Moose my H is happy and I am happy and it worked...... he even said he needed a kick in the ass...... so what are you doing by this...... You are not listening. It is not me who is not listening it is you.

 

Who cares how you have a successful R as long as you are happy with it.

 

Oh the H also brought me home some chai tea...... he remembered I said I was out of it,,,,,,,,,, and he also picked up some coffee as he NOTICED IT WAS RUNNING LOW .......so he is taking initiative and is becoming aware of what makes me happy...... even sex is better.

[a4a]

BTW I let the H drive my truck because he feels goofy having me drive him around...... not because I LET HIM DRIVE IT..... I like driving.... I let him do so tho because it makes him happy. of course when he is too tired or drank too much I drive his ass........ see how that works...... evil evil me. Thus me getting yanked over by the cops on st. patties day..... so he would not get popped for a DUI..... instead they tried to nail me, but did not..... how evil of me to take that one on too....... evil evil me. I risked going to friggin' jail for him...... selfish selfish me..... I demanded that he not drive......how cruel of me.

 

He tries to hold my hand in the truck and it is very uncomfortorable... it is a large z-71 and has a large center thingy in it and is awkward as hell with bucket seats.... and no I like my space to stretch out when watching a movie but he likes smushing us on the sofa together..... so I let him because it makes him happy.........and I want him to be happy.

 

do you get it now?

 

am I a saint........ no, but I do make a concious effort to do right by him as much as possible.

[Moose]

a4a, you'll never understand me....and that's ok.......but one thing I will tell you....you got me ALL wrong.....it's sad really....

[a4a]

a4a, you'll never understand me....and that's ok.......but one thing I will tell you....you got me ALL wrong.....it's sad really....

 

Moose I really don't want this too keep up..... You ignore me and I will ignore you ok.

 

I don't want to or need to understand you.... I just want you to go away and refrain from comments on my personal threads unless you have something positive to add. Honestly you are making mountains out of mole hills...... and it is really unproductive for both of us........ you are actually not helping one bit. And maybe it is your need to help which is your motivation.....but I don't care and I don't want your help ok. So please as one human to another just stop this. This is the last time I am going to ask or I am going to divorce you. :p < humor injection here

 

 

Deal?