I need a list

[Art_Critic]

Illuminated breasts? This I gotta see. Please post pics.

 

 

I heard they honk when you squeeze them too !! meep meep !!

[Guest]

can't anyone just want me for my bodacious boobies? They light up ya know!

 

 

Who Cares! LMAO!

[Guest]

a4a I am so tired of this post !!! Haven't you got enough attention yet!!!!! How much more do you need? We get it you are sleeping with your h's best friend and he knows .. People are having worst problems than you besides who is screwing who !!

[Guest]

can't anyone just want me for my bodacious boobies? They light up ya know!

 

 

Who Cares! LMAO!

 

Guest couldn't agree with you more ! Such a attention ho. Maybe LS isn't for you try Myspace sounds more your speed. You will get alot attention there...

[Moose]

Well.....I guess today is the big decision isn't it?

 

I just wanted to remind you what you said after you were asked what would happen if he didn't live up to your expectations:

 

I will leave and live happily ever after.

 

He has made a promise to me to attempt to remedy this. If he breaks that promise through sheer laziness without an attempt what is left to deal with then?

 

Oct 31st is still the deadline he has set for his own goal for improvement.

So, based off of this, you'll most likely stay with him, simply because you left a clause stating that as long as he's making an effort....you'd stay....BUT....let me remind you of something else you've said:

I have high standards for any person I get involved with, my choice. I wish to be treated in a manner in which I desire.

 

AND: I do not settle for less. I will not. I do not have to. If I am going to share my life and be obligated to him I expect to be treated in a manner if which I desire. I do not have to have a relationship to feel fulfilled, I can be quite content on my own. I do not want a person in my life that does not treat me in a manner that I find desirable.

 

AND: I am no longer looking for the cause of his problem I simply expect results. He is on the same page as me with this. He is aware he does not execute the plan. He is aware that I cannot fix it for him. His choice.... change back to the way he was and with improvement or I leave.... his choice

 

AND: right now I am giving him a chance...... his choice to take action or not

 

AND: I also told him I would give him the chance to work on things. He set the deadline not me.

 

What would be a fair amount of time for you to start to work out your problems? he said by oct 31st...... so how is that unfair or mean or expecting too much....

 

AND: He likes to come through at the 11th hour. Probably show up on the 30th and have the pool installed, a camel in the barn, and a romantic trip planned for that night

 

I walk..... I own my own home about 50 miles away from here.

I think you get my point.......I could pull more out if I needed to.....

 

My question is.....here's the deadline....what's the verdict?

 

Let me guess......"he's made some improvements", you'll keep him....

 

So then.....when will the next deadline be?????????

 

I think you should see where I'm going with this.....

[a4a]

Well Captain Ahab....... first let me suggest you get help for your obsession with me. :lmao:

 

And for guests above..... it is you that reopened this thread not I.... and you are now baptised into the A4A fan club. :lmao:

 

I now know how the famous just want some peace and quiet away from their obsessive fans.

 

Moose to answer your question.............. I won't bother to. You know the truth, I read a post here recently which kinda applies to you in a symbolic sense. "you cannot argue with a drunk"...... they will believe what they want.

 

I think you are out to attempt to prove me wrong to validate your own decisions and way of life...... if it helps you feel better I will just say You are right, you were right all along, you know everything, you and your ideals should be followed by every individual on the planet.

 

Now will you go away?

:lmao: Seriously what is your obsession with me. You are not badgering me out of christian kindness....... it is not love...... why do you feel the need to do this? Funny I kinda forgot about the deadline, you are more involved in my M than I am....... maybe you need to look at your own and see why you need to be so obsessive with mine.

 

Moose is my biggest fan!!! (don't know if I should be afraid or not)

[JamesM]

I am not obsessed with you, but you do get my attention when you post.

 

So, for those of us who ARE following your life...

 

My question is.....here's the deadline....what's the verdict?

[a4a]

I am not obsessed with you, but you do get my attention when you post.

 

So, for those of us who ARE following your life...

 

 

Why not take wagers on this?

 

What do you think happened?

 

I will say I have been enjoying debates with the H about politics and so forth.

 

Actually I have to get to work at this moment and no time to post details.

 

But I woud assume a new thread would be in order instead of this one.....

 

How bout a discussion on what to name that thread?

 

Do you people really want to know that bad? I mean come on..... I thought guys did not watch soaps?

 

Hi Ho Hi Ho off to work I go.

[Moose]

First off, I'm not obsessed with you, so quit flattering yourself.

 

I'm a person that is calling you out on your word.

 

You started this thread and made all of these comments about you're gonna have it this way, or that way, you don't need a relationship to be happy, I could go on and on and on....he has his own deadline of 10/31 to shape up or I'm gone.......

 

Did you not mean what you said? If not, is EVERYTHING you post a charade?

 

I answer your posts because I think most of the time you're blowing smoke up our butts, and it ticks me off.....THERE.....now you have the truth as to why it seems I follow you around....reality is, you only notice me the most because I do call you on these outrageous posts......

 

No need to start a new thread a4a.....finish this one first!

[a4a]

First off, I'm not obsessed with you, so quit flattering yourself.

 

I'm a person that is calling you out on your word.

 

You started this thread and made all of these comments about you're gonna have it this way, or that way, you don't need a relationship to be happy, I could go on and on and on....he has his own deadline of 10/31 to shape up or I'm gone.......

 

Did you not mean what you said? If not, is EVERYTHING you post a charade?

 

I answer your posts because I think most of the time you're blowing smoke up our butts, and it ticks me off.....THERE.....now you have the truth as to why it seems I follow you around....reality is, you only notice me the most because I do call you on these outrageous posts......

 

No need to start a new thread a4a.....finish this one first!

 

:lmao: where there is smoke there is fire.

 

Sorry Moose my M is wondeful.......... it worked and actually better than I thought it would.

 

The H even realized he grew up spoiled rotten and never had to put effort into anything in his life to get or keep it.

 

So yep the deadline worked. Forced some serious self examinations and a serious changes in behavior. Not his fault, he just was not aware.

 

So no smoke....... just fire.

 

And no I don't need to live under the same roof with anyone, date, or screw anyone to feel like my life is complete.... are you jealous or what?

 

I don't have to be married or in a R to be happy..... so what is that evil?

 

Is it just because I happen to be a woman who does not feel a need to have a man so you feel like it effects you personally or what? Why care? I don't get upset if a preist says he is happy and fulfilled with his life without a woman..... I mean come on. What is driving you to this need to validate you are correct? What makes you want to be the one to stand on the mountain and shout "told you so"? What need drives you so? Interesting indeed.

 

Your dislike of me or need to pester me is not my doing, it has nothing to do with me at all...... it only has to do with you.

[Moose]

Sorry Moose my M is wondeful.......... it worked and actually better than I thought it would.

Well now, that's really wonderful news.....it really is....

The H even realized he grew up spoiled rotten and never had to put effort into anything in his life to get or keep it.

Now see....THIS IS WHAT FRIGGIN" TICKS ME OFF!!!There wasn't any need whatsoever to put this in here! You put it in here to place blame on his shortcomings! THEN....YOU take credit for fixing the problem!

And no I don't need to live under the same roof with anyone, date, or screw anyone to feel like my life is complete.... are you jealous or what?

JEALOUS??? Are you kidding? I don't give a flip how you complete your life....

 

I am not trying to, "stand on a mountain and yell told you so"......

 

I don't care if you're happy with or without a man.....I don't even care if you're a woman for that matter.....

 

What I do care about is someone coming here, posting, "This is and what for", blows smoke up our butts, puts me and my personal life down, then they refuse to back up what they say.....apologize, and then they even try to turn it around.....funny....

 

Oh well....I kinda knew who and what you were from the git go......

 

SO......Ladies and Gentlemen.....there you have it.....Mr. a4a stays.....

[melodymatters]

I too admit, you get more interested in certain LS'ers stories and " personalities" than others, and i DID think to myself : " Gee, Halloween has come and passed, wonder what happened with a4a's deadline? "

 

You seem cool, so I was glad to hear it worked out, gives people hope.

 

congrats.

[a4a]

Well now, that's really wonderful news.....it really is.... Now see....THIS IS WHAT FRIGGIN" TICKS ME OFF!!!There wasn't any need whatsoever to put this in here! You put it in here to place blame on his shortcomings! THEN....YOU take credit for fixing the problem! JEALOUS??? Are you kidding? I don't give a flip how you complete your life....

 

I am not trying to, "stand on a mountain and yell told you so"......

 

I don't care if you're happy with or without a man.....I don't even care if you're a woman for that matter.....

 

What I do care about is someone coming here, posting, "This is and what for", blows smoke up our butts, puts me and my personal life down, then they refuse to back up what they say.....apologize, and then they even try to turn it around.....funny....

 

Oh well....I kinda knew who and what you were from the git go......

 

SO......Ladies and Gentlemen.....there you have it.....Mr. a4a stays.....

 

 

First of all he is the one fixing himself ...... I just helped, like I said his choice to do so or not.... he is a big boy and could certainly live without me.

 

Things are going very well. The H bought and read several books, downloaded seminars all by his lil ole self. He admits to his shortcomings, his problems, and his need to address them.... he does. So why would that tick you off? Because I posted that he is not perfect here... who the hell is perfect?

 

I don't see what the problem is from your POV? I really don't. Enlighten me.

 

So my method of laying it on the line and saying I am unhappy and not willing to stay in this marriage under these conditions actually worked ........ and somehow that is terrible? why?

 

Did I step out of my rights as a woman by doing so? I honestly don't get why you find a problem with it.

 

Yesterday flowers, a nice candle, and organic choc. bars arrived here from my H...we had a date but I am so sick could not go.... We have a date, a big date on the 11th. We now spend at least 6 hours of quality time together on Sat or Sun without working. When I say something it is not forgotten.... even he said his memory has improved about everything in general. His career is taking a turn for the better...... after 3 months of me prodding him and explaining that he has to do things he does not want to be able to get ahead.

 

I made him very aware that I am not his mommy..... nor his maid. He is now paying his own bills.... and I give him more in return because I want to.

 

So what is so terrible about me Moose? My H even said nobody in his life not even family took time to really help him see things and take a hard look at the reason things were the way they were with him. Is that terrible?

 

Why?

 

And no this is not finished it is a work in progress and will be until one of us croaks or a situation pops up. And if it happens or faulters again well I do have the option to leave, we all do. That is reality.

 

Now honestly Moose what have I done that is so terrible? It is working, the career thing alone is enough to make me elated. So I kicked him in the butt, and like he said he needed a good butt kickin'..... he said that.

 

How long will it last....... well I think it will last and I suspect there will be bumps in the road here or there and things will happen. But at least he has learned to take responsibility for consquences his actions or non actions. Previously he did not.

 

But I will say if not for me being tenacious and caring for him enough to do this, which I did not enjoy things would have never gotten better.....

so yes I will take full credit for starting the ball rolling on saving our R.

[a4a]

I too admit, you get more interested in certain LS'ers stories and " personalities" than others, and i DID think to myself : " Gee, Halloween has come and passed, wonder what happened with a4a's deadline? "

 

You seem cool, so I was glad to hear it worked out, gives people hope.

 

congrats.

 

 

It was friggin the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life...... my god!

 

I mean I have dealt with some stubborn mules (real ones too) but I just refused to give up. I think we are on the road to something good now. He says he is much happier and feeling much better about himself. Still a long way to go though...... and I fully do expect us to face more problems but what a great experience it was to get to the root of the matter. Now he has learned how to ask "why" he does or doesn't do certain things.

 

The only thing is he won't keep off of me :lmao: Always touching me even in inappropriate moments like when I am trying to eat...... Really it is cute and appreciated but he is like one of those static cling socks stickin to me... and he is doing it unconciously. But I am really not complaining it is just kinda funny how it happens and he ends up on my lap basically when watching TV or something.

[a4a]

Oh well....I kinda knew who and what you were from the git go......

 

 

Yes I am the Spawn of Satan...... a female with her own mind, her own life, her own desires........

 

EVIL PURE EVIL.... THE START OF THE DOWN FALL OF HUMANITY!

[Touche]

It was friggin the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life...... my god!

 

I mean I have dealt with some stubborn mules (real ones too) but I just refused to give up. I think we are on the road to something good now. He says he is much happier and feeling much better about himself. Still a long way to go though...... and I fully do expect us to face more problems but what a great experience it was to get to the root of the matter. Now he has learned how to ask "why" he does or doesn't do certain things.

 

The only thing is he won't keep off of me :lmao: Always touching me even in inappropriate moments like when I am trying to eat...... Really it is cute and appreciated but he is like one of those static cling socks stickin to me... and he is doing it unconciously. But I am really not complaining it is just kinda funny how it happens and he ends up on my lap basically when watching TV or something.

 

I'm so glad things are working out and you've got H traine...err I mean cooperating and meeting some of your needs.

 

Now the NEXT thing you have to work on is teaching him that he is not to sit in YOUR lap...you should be sitting in HIS!

[Moose]

I'm so glad things are working out and you've got H traine...err I mean cooperating and meeting some of your needs.

WHEW, THAT was a close one Touche'.......

 

I wouldn't worry, I'm sure a4a has a list tucked away somewhere on what's next.......

[JamesM]

a female with her own mind, her own life, her own desires........

 

Thanks for describing my wife. There is nothing wrong with a woman who is independent. There is nothing wrong with a woman who lives her own life. I am curious why when someone questions you...this argument is brought out?

 

I may not agree with Moose on everything...or alot...but how is asking you whether you held to your deadline considered anti-female or chauvinistic? I can see his point...we all vent here and even make "threats," but you put down a date. This is more than just venting. This is determination. This is much more final.

 

So my method of laying it on the line and saying I am unhappy and not willing to stay in this marriage under these conditions actually worked ........ and somehow that is terrible? why?

 

I am not sure how I read it is terrible, but it is not the best way to get results. When you issue an ultimatum to someone, then you "scare" them into change rather than "love" them into change. For your sake, I hope the husband keeps this change going. If he doesn't, you may have to issue another ultimatum...which will be less effective.

 

How long will it last....... well I think it will last

 

Again, I hope so, but to change years of problems in weeks and expect it to last..well, please update us in a year. Yes, there will be bumps, that is okay, but will you be happy with him? Can you accept him for who he is or will he keep having to change for you?

 

I think we are on the road to something good now. He says he is much happier and feeling much better about himself.

 

Good. Is he happier with himself because HE is feeling better about himself...or because YOU are feeling better about him? As a man and husband, I am well aware of the difference. This will determine if this change is long lasting or short term. If he is not happy with his changes or if he feels that he did it for you and not himself, then there may be resentment and problems down the road.

 

I mean I have dealt with some stubborn mules (real ones too) but I just refused to give up.

 

Now he has learned ...

 

Good boy.

 

Do you people really want to know that bad? I mean come on..... I thought guys did not watch soaps?

 

What is wrong with caring about your life? We all post our lives openly here. Why are you surprised that we are interested? Why is it an attack on you as a woman? I periodically get PMs and emails from people wondering how my going. I consider this pleasant and friendly concern...not attacks and nosiness. No, personally, I become interested in so many posters as PEOPLE. I know I will never meet ninety percent of the posters in real life, but here, I feel a "connection." So, when you post...husband needs to change or he is out by such and such a date...please expect some concern when date arrives.

 

Yes, I am glad that your life IS going better. And I hope it stays that way. IF you call my interest chauvinistic or an attack on you as a woman, so be it. In my world, men and women care about each other as people. In my world, women are equal to men. This does not mean that they don't question each other when differences arise.

[a4a]

I'm so glad things are working out and you've got H traine...err I mean cooperating and meeting some of your needs.

 

Now the NEXT thing you have to work on is teaching him that he is not to sit in YOUR lap...you should be sitting in HIS!

 

Thanks Touche he is actually getting so motivated in general it is refreshing..... such a load of me being responsible for the majority of everything in business and in life.

 

He actually told me he expects me to take one day off a week and just do what I want and not what has to be done.......WOW!

 

For the last week I have also made him breakfast..... simply because I want to do that for him...... so I think he sees the rewards of his effort .... including hot monkey lovin' :bunny:

 

I wish I felt better because I would really like to go whip him up a gourmet meal tonight....... but I got the plague.

 

Its hard to blow your nose and blow your man at the same time :lmao: (I read something like that in a fortune cookie I think)

[Touche]

WHEW, THAT was a close one Touche'.......

 

I wouldn't worry, I'm sure a4a has a list tucked away somewhere on what's next.......

 

I really didn't mean that as any kind of put-down Moose. Look, my husband and I have been together for 12 years - married for 11. The fact of the matter is that we've both in effect, "trained" each other. Yes we have. We each have trained or taught the other what we each need from the other. It took years. But now, and for quite a few years now, we rarely have an actual fight over anything.

 

Take last night. We didn't agree on something. He was adament about his position and I was about mine. So I just told him...Ok, you get this one but I get the next one. It's just what we do. At the beginning of our marriage we would have fought forever until one of us caved. It's not worth all that to me.

 

So we've trained each other on how to deal with each other and how to get what we each need.

 

I think that's what a4a is doing. I see nothing wrong with it. Maybe it's not a PC word to use but that IS what it is.

[Touche]

Thanks Touche he is actually getting so motivated in general it is refreshing..... such a load of me being responsible for the majority of everything in business and in life.

 

He actually told me he expects me to take one day off a week and just do what I want and not what has to be done.......WOW!

 

For the last week I have also made him breakfast..... simply because I want to do that for him...... so I think he sees the rewards of his effort .... including hot monkey lovin' :bunny:

 

I wish I felt better because I would really like to go whip him up a gourmet meal tonight....... but I got the plague.

 

Its hard to blow your nose and blow your man at the same time :lmao: (I read something like that in a fortune cookie I think)

 

 

Now that's really great! You're both really learning what each of you needs. It's a recipe for long-term success if you ask me.

 

And one way of dealing with ONE man may not be the best way to deal with another man...you gots to know your man!

 

So there really is no right or wrong way along the path of success. It's just whatever works for both of you as a couple.

 

Stay the course!

[Moose]

Touche......I DON"T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH WHAT A4A IS DOING!!!!

 

BUT:

 

I see EVERYTHING wrong with talking smack, giving a date, then expecting people not to ask about it....

 

I see EVERYTHING wrong with a wife not treating her husband as an equal to say the least.....

 

I see EVERYTHING wrong with a husband not treating his wife as an equal to say the least.....

 

I see EVERYTHING wrong when one places blame on someone else, and owns up to none of it.....

 

I see EVERYTHING wrong when one's shortcomings is always brought up and re-hashed....

 

I see EVERYTHING wrong when people paint a perfect picture and tries to make everyone believe they were the Author....

 

I see EVERYTHING wrong when a person refuses to listen to reason due to a personal conflict.....

 

Good luck with it all a4a.....I really do mean that!

[a4a]

Thanks for describing my wife. There is nothing wrong with a woman who is independent. There is nothing wrong with a woman who lives her own life. I am curious why when someone questions you...this argument is brought out?

 

Well because I don't see why there is an argument in the first place. I really don't. I did not start as a matter a fact I have asked Moose to just refrain from his input, it serves no purpose but critism in a matter that he only sees a glimpse of here. I don't know why he is so fascinated with this thread or my M. I just don't. Then again I am not one to think my way is for every person on the planet... it works for me and really that is all that matters to me. If having threesomes works for some, or worshipping a pop tart works, or paying the wife for sex...... hey, awesome! Good for them.... maybe I can learn something from them and apply it in my own life.... I think the term narrow minded may apply.

 

I may not agree with Moose on everything...or alot...but how is asking you whether you held to your deadline considered anti-female or chauvinistic? I can see his point...we all vent here and even make "threats," but you put down a date. This is more than just venting. This is determination. This is much more final.

 

I did not choose that date...... the H did. I simply asked how long he planned on us continuing in this manner... he chose the date as to when I should expect to see some sort of real effort or result.... and I posted HIS DECISION

He is a grown man and can defend himself..... I think it is amazing that men here jump up and down trying to defend him when he himself says he was so screwed up and thanks me for helping and caring about him. Why is there a need to do this?

 

 

 

 

 

I am not sure how I read it is terrible, but it is not the best way to get results. When you issue an ultimatum to someone, then you "scare" them into change rather than "love" them into change. For your sake, I hope the husband keeps this change going. If he doesn't, you may have to issue another ultimatum...which will be less effective.

 

There is no scare there..... it is choice... all grown up choice. I don't fly off the handle with a threat. We sat down and talked. Yep like grown ups. We do not scream or slam doors. I asked him if he wanted to stay or go too..... his choice..... discussion, decisions. We even talked about how life would be if we did separate..... this is real life not fantasyland. We would both live if we divorce. People can talk in a straight forward manner and decide what they want to do with their joined life. Really it is not that hard to do so. And it is not like I did not continue to ask him what he wanted and need from me..... he made it clear..... but I had to initiate the attempt to fix things, make them better for both of us.

 

There is no issue of another ultimatium not needed. This has been going on for 8 months or more..... started out slightly bad then peaked to terrible.... this is not a couple of weeks and throwing out a threat. If it happens again I have no choice but to leave. But honestly it probably won't..... because he now has the knowledge, he had no clue previously.

 

 

Again, I hope so, but to change years of problems in weeks and expect it to last..well, please update us in a year. Yes, there will be bumps, that is okay, but will you be happy with him? Can you accept him for who he is or will he keep having to change for you?

 

Well I certainly hope he can change, I hope things will evolve. I hope we both grow as individuals and a couple. I love who he is, always have... I just wanted him to treat me like I meant something to him in a way I understand and desire...... it is not about trying to make him change his religion, or his political stance..... it is about him treating me in a way that he had no clue to...... that love language thing. That simple. But he did not get it until now. Hell most people don't ever get it. Maybe more should try?

 

 

 

Good. Is he happier with himself because HE is feeling better about himself...or because YOU are feeling better about him? As a man and husband, I am well aware of the difference. This will determine if this change is long lasting or short term. If he is not happy with his changes or if he feels that he did it for you and not himself, then there may be resentment and problems down the road.

 

It is both I believe. He even gets up earlier and smiles and jokes more with his friends.... even calling old friends...... so yes it is inside him as well.

 

 

 

Good boy.

 

 

 

What is wrong with caring about your life? We all post our lives openly here. Why are you surprised that we are interested? Why is it an attack on you as a woman? I periodically get PMs and emails from people wondering how my going. I consider this pleasant and friendly concern...not attacks and nosiness. No, personally, I become interested in so many posters as PEOPLE. I know I will never meet ninety percent of the posters in real life, but here, I feel a "connection." So, when you post...husband needs to change or he is out by such and such a date...please expect some concern when date arrives.

 

Actually it is appreciated but when a person uses their interest in my life to attempt to validate themselves and act like a know it all jerk.......I really do not want to be bothered I only respond to actually defend myself which I am trying to figure out why I bother to even do so. It is quite senseless to do so as I find nothing positive from Mooses posts at all.... very bitter, angry, and the need to take a jab whenever possible without reason. I don't attempt to belittle him or tell him how awful he is.... I don't feel the need to do so. I have asked him to refrain from posting on my threads on several occassions because he I find him toxic. So I really did not even want to bother to update anyone because of him, not even those I appreciated their concern and time they spent helping me along....... I could picture him the first one screaming in Salem to burn the witches..... not the kinda of person I really want to even bother with. Now with you we may disagree but we can discuss and I think we can see eachothers POV even if we don't always agree.

 

Yes, I am glad that your life IS going better. And I hope it stays that way. IF you call my interest chauvinistic or an attack on you as a woman, so be it. In my world, men and women care about each other as people. In my world, women are equal to men. This does not mean that they don't question each other when differences arise.

 

 

No but you do not have the history of coming off like a typical chavinist either, nor are you inappropriate and nasty. I actually find you to be quite interesting and mostly positive.

 

Maybe you have such great interest in my thread because your own emotional needs are not being met?

 

Let me ask you this....... If I really wanted to go to Italy for my birthday next year and asked my H if we could go...... would it mean less to me if he said yes and he did so because I asked..... or should I expect him to just know I want to go to Italy?

 

Sometimes you have to let the other person know exactly what you need and why you need it..... and if they give it to you there is no reason to appreciate it less then if they just did it on their own. At times they just don't know....... and that is ok, they are not psychic nor perfect.

[a4a]

WHEW, THAT was a close one Touche'.......

 

I wouldn't worry, I'm sure a4a has a list tucked away somewhere on what's next.......

 

see what a snarky lil man he is....... what a shame.

 

FYI Touche and I did a how to train a man post long ago....

so I don't think you got the joke.

[Moose]

I don't attempt to belittle him or tell him how awful he is.... I don't feel the need to do so.

Give me a flippin' break!!!

 

I don't have time to go cut and paste all of them....but you know full well this isn't true....