Engaged Now What , Were far apart

[Sabrina]

Well me and my boyfriend who is in the coast guard have had so many breakups and yet we been together for like three yrs. Him moving away and then coming back from college and now in the Coast Guard. Well he finally figured somthing out I been waiting on for a while now. He got me a ring and cant wait to marry me. He recently came home for two weeks and we had such a good time together. NOw he is getting ready to head to the west coast I live in Indiana , So it will be very hard. We will be apart for a year before we get married. How can we make this work. I am so scared things will fade or somthing.. I know we have made it this far so nothing should stop us now , but I am really scared. I will try to go see him as much as posssible untill he goes onto his boat for 6 months. That is why we are waiting to get married. Any advice will be appreciated. I just know I will miss the hell out of him and I dont want things to go in a bad direction...Anybody else dealing with this???

[Tony T]

It's hard enough keeping a relationship in top condition when the two parties are right there with each other. The separation can be good or bad...there's just no way of predicting.

 

Don't go out of your way to do unusual things to keep the two of you together. However, your fear will actually work very much against you. There is no room for fear in love. If you really love this guy you want him to be guided by his own spirit and move in the way that best suits his life as well as your lives together.

 

If it fizzles for him, you would certainly not want him for a partner if he poops out on you that easily.

 

If he's going to be in the Coast Guard as a career, you'll have to get used to him being away a lot. And don't think that just because you marry somebody and even have their children you have snagged them for all time. Half the marriages end in divorce.

 

The sooner you just cool your jets and let the direction of this relationship take its natural course, the better the chances for it to grow and prosper. Do not obsess about this and magnify your fears. If this is a truly great relationship, it will take care of itself and the two of you will be destined for each other. If it is weak and not meant to be, it won't happen no matter how much you worry.

[velvet]

Marriage is a big commitment. No one knows if it will last forever, or how horrible it could end. Divorce is very painful & I could talk you about divorce all day long.

 

A year is a long time to wait. You can only take it day by day. Accept his ring. But please consider marriage carefully. If its meant to be, theres no need to rush into it.

 

No one can answer what waiting for him is going to be like. He could see other people while away. If you feel like your putting your life on hold for him than just remain as close as you can. If things do not work out, it was'nt meant to be.

 

It's hard enough keeping a relationship in top condition when the two parties are right there with each other. The separation can be good or bad...there's just no way of predicting. Don't go out of your way to do unusual things to keep the two of you together. However, your fear will actually work very much against you. There is no room for fear in love. If you really love this guy you want him to be guided by his own spirit and move in the way that best suits his life as well as your lives together. If it fizzles for him, you would certainly not want him for a partner if he poops out on you that easily. If he's going to be in the Coast Guard as a career, you'll have to get used to him being away a lot. And don't think that just because you marry somebody and even have their children you have snagged them for all time. Half the marriages end in divorce. The sooner you just cool your jets and let the direction of this relationship take its natural course, the better the chances for it to grow and prosper. Do not obsess about this and magnify your fears. If this is a truly great relationship, it will take care of itself and the two of you will be destined for each other. If it is weak and not meant to be, it won't happen no matter how much you worry.

[Sabrina]

WELL I KNOW HE LOVES ME WITH ALL HIS HEART SO THAT SHOULD KEEP US TOGETHER. WE BOTH HAVE TO THINK POSITIVE. I COULD CLEARLY SEE HE DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE ME LAST NIGHT. HE CRIED WHEN I TOLD HIM GOODBYE, AND HE SAID HE COULD NOT WAIT TO MARRY ME THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE OK. I JUST HOPE IT WILL. I ALREADY MISS HIM . I JUST WISH I COULD OF WENT WITH HIM SOONER. ANYWAY I WILL KEEP A COOL HEAD AND BELIEVE THAT WHAT WE HAVE HAS ALREADY MADE IT THROUGH MANY TESTS . SO THIS IS JUST ONE MORE BUMP IN THE ROAD BEFORE HAPPINESS AND FOREVER.

It's hard enough keeping a relationship in top condition when the two parties are right there with each other. The separation can be good or bad...there's just no way of predicting. Don't go out of your way to do unusual things to keep the two of you together. However, your fear will actually work very much against you. There is no room for fear in love. If you really love this guy you want him to be guided by his own spirit and move in the way that best suits his life as well as your lives together. If it fizzles for him, you would certainly not want him for a partner if he poops out on you that easily. If he's going to be in the Coast Guard as a career, you'll have to get used to him being away a lot. And don't think that just because you marry somebody and even have their children you have snagged them for all time. Half the marriages end in divorce. The sooner you just cool your jets and let the direction of this relationship take its natural course, the better the chances for it to grow and prosper. Do not obsess about this and magnify your fears. If this is a truly great relationship, it will take care of itself and the two of you will be destined for each other. If it is weak and not meant to be, it won't happen no matter how much you worry.