Guest Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 so about 2 months ago i moved out to west texas from central texas to play soccer at college. i hadnt seen her in about a month and she goes on a cruise to the bahamas and what not on my birthday. while she was there she made out with another guy. i dont find out until 2 days after she gets back. we had been talking on the phone since she got back and she didnt mention anything of it only how much fun she had while she was gone. swimming with the big fish and what not. so i didnt expect anything was wrong. i get an email from her after i come home from soccer practice one day and im thinking awsome its got to be good news. WRONG she tells me how she had made out with another guy while she was away on the cruise. that thats all they did and how she was so sorry. she just wanted someone to hold her and kiss her. im thinking no way this cant be true she wouldnt do somthing like this. but then i find this guy on myspace and hes posted pictures of it. no dice. no i really love her alot and i want to take her back. she says she promises she wont do it again and that she really does love me and how much of a mistake it was for her to do that. she said that she knew it was wrong and that she knew that i loved her so much that i could forgive her and thats a reason why she went ahead and did it. and thats why she feels so bad right now because she took it for granted how much i really care for her and how she knew i would take her back and how wrong that was to think that. the thing is i do want to take her back though and i dont know why. this has happend before to me with another girl and i droped her ass on the spot and i dont know why this is diffrent. what do you think i should do Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 Let me get this straight. She knew it was wrong but she decided to cheat on you because she knew you would forgive her which encouraged her to cheat on you. What is wrong with this picture? I guess she is saying if she knew that you would not accept humiliation and disrespect in your relationship then she would never consider it because she knew that it would be the end of the relationship. Since she knows you are crazy about her and such a nice guy; she therefore knew she could cheat on you because you would accept such disrespect from her. What a bunch of Bull... My friend she is telling you that you are way too nice of a guy and that she knew that she could cheat on you without consequences. What does that say how she perceives you? Is it possible she only told you because she knew the picture would be posted on My Space and you would have found out anyway. I think her comments would tell you that she does not appreciate you and value you like she should and that she knew she could cheat on you and you would take her back because you a such a sweet guy. I think you deserve somebody a lot better than this. It is clear that she does not respect you. If you do not respect yourself then who will? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 its not like there were no consequences. she was freaking out when i called her to talk about it she was like balling all over the place and every 5 sec it was "im so sorry". so i know that she really does care. i told her that i forgave her and she told me i shouldnt and that she felt like dying. i told i her i still loved her and she said she doesnt understand why and that shes the worst person ever. i cant stop thinking about this. i went to soccer practice today and everything i did i did it half ass and all distracted because all i could do was think about this and what i should do. i freaking love her alot and i care about.but half of me says she cheated dump her ass and move on with it and the other half says i really do love her and to stay with her. i know it sounds gay but its true she really is the best ive ever had. this just puts a dampner on it Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 What do you do? You dump her ass. Why would you still want to be with her? You may love her, but don't kid yourself: she does not love you. You dont cheat on someone you love, and crying a lot sure as hell doesn't show her love for you. She might care about you, but not enough. If you wanna be with a girl who cares about you, but not enough to not make out with another dude, then fine. I'd figure any guy would have more pride than that. Plus she let the dude take pics of it? Thats skanky As has been said, she cheated because she thought she could get away with it, forgiving her proves that theory. Plus you dont know all they did was makeout. I've been where you are, where love blinded me to want to stay with a girl I shouldnt of stayed with. Don't make the same mistake, you might love her, but recognize she doesnt love you or respect you. I mean, even if she hadn't cheated, WTF is she doing going on a cruise to the bahamas without her bf? Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 She is absolutely begging you to stand up to her and show her the consequences to her actions. 1) She says she cheated on you because she knew you would forgive her. The implication is clear she would not have cheated if she knew that she had a boyfriend who would not tolerate such disrespectful behavior. 2) She tells you she cheated on you crying and you immediately forgive her and she in fact then tells you that you should not. What is the message here? She is telling you that she does not want a boyfriend who will roll over immediately and be a doormat when she cheats with someone else on you. How can you not see this? The best thing for you would be to inform her that you want some time off from her and you will decide in a month or so whether you wish to give her another chance. She is basically telling you that she wishes that you would stand up to her and you melt like a little kid. She is telling you that you are too nice and deep down she has a problem respecting you. Ask yourself if you had made it clear that as a boyfriend you would never accept cheating in a relationship do you really think she would have done this? You know that the answer is NO. Your girlfriend wants a boyfriend who she can respect and stand up to her. You are doing just the opposite. What is the old saying: There is nobody as blind as a person who refuses to see. Link to post Share on other sites
DarkShadows Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 Not to bring this up here... But it amuses me to see that all the guy's are telling him to break up with her... yet in the post where the guy cheated on his girl with a prostitute they say "Well it isn't real life" and "Don't tell her"... Anything wrong with this picture? (Not saying you guys said it, btw.) Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 she wont do it again and that she really does love me and how much of a mistake it was for her to do that. she said that she knew it was wrong and that she knew that i loved her so much that i could forgive her and thats a reason why she went ahead and did it. and thats why she feels so bad right now because she took it for granted how much i really care for her and how she knew i would take her back and how wrong that was to think that. This would worry me more than the actual cheating... I'd normally say: give her another chance since she was honest about it, she looks genuinely sorry and you really care about her.... but this but then i find this guy on myspace and hes posted pictures of it. makes me wonder whether she told you about the cheating because there were pics of her making out with him on the internet. I'm all for giving a second chance to people that cheat once, come clean on their own and feel very bad about it, but people who come clean just because they'd get caught anyway should, IMHO, dumped right on the spot. Was she aware of the pics posted on myspace? Have you considered contacting the guy? (probably not the smartest idea, but I'd do it) Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 Not to bring this up here... But it amuses me to see that all the guy's are telling him to break up with her... yet in the post where the guy cheated on his girl with a prostitute they say "Well it isn't real life" and "Don't tell her"... Anything wrong with this picture? (Not saying you guys said it, btw.) Well, unless it was one of the people posting in here who also said it, why even bring it up? To stir up a flamewar? Are you saying he shouldnt dump this b*tch? So no, I don't see anything wrong with this picture, unless somebody in this topic said it, nobody has contradicted themselves and btw, he should tell her, and she should dump his ass. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 she said that she knew it was wrong and that she knew that i loved her so much that i could forgive her and thats a reason why she went ahead and did it. What utter BS!!! She doesn't respect you and is using you, man. Drop her or she will continue to think she can do anything and you will be there for her. There are consequences for people's actions.... Link to post Share on other sites
DaNziNgQuEeN1 Posted September 10, 2006 Share Posted September 10, 2006 You said this has happened to you before. Why did you dump the first girl? BECAUSE YOU KNEW YOU COULD NEVER TRUST HER AGAIN, RIGHT? Well I think the same rule applies here as well! Even if you forgive her and take her back...DEEP DOWN INSIDE YOU KNOW YOU CAN NEVER TRUST HER AGAIN. Any time she acts weird, any time she is late to meet with you, any time she forgot to call you, any time she went out with her "friends" YOU'LL ALWAYS WONDER: "IS SHE TELLING THE TRUTH?" "WAS/IS SHE WITH ANOTHER GUY?" "DID SHE CHEAT?" I mean, all these thoughts are just going to turn into obsessions and the obsessions are just going to drive you totally crazy!!! So ask yourself this question: Is THAT the way you want live your life in this relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
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