2sunny Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 My brother and his wife were due to have a child any day now... She went for her check up yesterday... no heartbeat. All was well before that. She will have to deliver the child today only to understand that it will be dead when delivered. My heart is breaking for them! They are already having to make arrangements for the burial. :( I wish I could make it better for him...
a4a Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 Oh Sunny that is sad..... and how horrendous for them...... for her. to be sitting there with a dead baby. I cannot imagine how that must feel.
superconductor Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 Oh God, I cannot imagine a more horrible event. The loss of any child is devastating enough; in utero it must be even more traumatic.
Author 2sunny Posted September 7, 2006 Author Posted September 7, 2006 Thanks you guys... I am overwhelmed with sadness... reminds me of my Dad's death which was very unexpected.... We come from a very large and close family - bad things don't generally happen to us.... fortunately not very often anyway. He is my favorite brother and I wish I could change it for him. She had a wonderful pregnancy, such a breeze for her. God, make it go away!
quankanne Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 oh, God, sunny ... I feel for you, and for them. I don't know what to say, except love them, and listen. Tell them that even though their little one could only stay for a short time, he/she brought so much love and joy and excitement to your family – this way they see how their baby was very much a loved member of the family even if y'all hadn't yet gotten to meet her/him in person. y'all are very much in my prayers, I know this is incredibly hard for everyone.
Pink Amulet Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 Oh my god. *hugs you* I could not imagine anything worse.
littlekitty Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 :( That is so sad Sunny. I'm so sorry for their/your loss.
Spiderman Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 The exact same thing happened to a very close friend of mine. I'm so sorry for your brother and his wife's loss. To say they must be devastated would be an understatement. Life is so unfair at times. :( My thoughts are with you and your family.
Author 2sunny Posted September 7, 2006 Author Posted September 7, 2006 Thank you to all of you... I just spoke with my brother and they have an 11am appt at the hospital to induce labor... He (my brother) is such a kind and sensitive guy, I really am overwhelmed with sadness for him. He is a huge lover of kids (as all my family is). I hope they will try again... but they are not getting any younger now (closer to 40). They do have one son who is 2 1/2 - they do not know if this would be a girl or a boy... they wanted to be surprised... just as last time... as we are from the "old school" of having babies...
HeyYouGuys Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 Sunny How awful. This happened to one of my best friends from college. Her baby died after 5 months gestation. She had to undergo labor and give birth to a dead baby. They let her hold him for a few minutes and she said he was perfectly formed. Nobody knew what had gone wrong. No one had any answers for her. This was her first baby and naturally, she was terrified to try again. She did after about a year and went on to have three more healthy children My condolences to your family.
Sassy Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 My brother and his wife were due to have a child any day now... She went for her check up yesterday... no heartbeat. All was well before that. She will have to deliver the child today only to understand that it will be dead when delivered. My heart is breaking for them! They are already having to make arrangements for the burial. :( I wish I could make it better for him... I am sorry for your family's loss. My SO brother's baby died when i was pregnant with my daughter two weeks before our daughter was born. That was the hardest thing to see while being pregnant. She wasn't due till January and she went in labor on Labor Day Weekend. She lives 72 hrs and then died. She had a hole in her lung and they gave her morphine and after that she died. My prayers are with you and your family.
Guest Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 I can imagine nothing worse. I read tragic stories like this on occasion and they never fail to bring tears to my eyes. It's often a problem with the placenta. I am so sorry.
pricillia Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 2 sunny, That is so so sad, I am so sorry to hear that. All my compassion!
basscatcher Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 Sunny How awful. This happened to one of my best friends from college. Her baby died after 5 months gestation. She had to undergo labor and give birth to a dead baby. They let her hold him for a few minutes and she said he was perfectly formed. Nobody knew what had gone wrong. No one had any answers for her. I too lost a child at 5 months gestation. Unfortunately, I did NOT get to deliver or hold my child. I was 18 yrs old and wanted the child very much. I was devasted. I couldn't even think straight. The doctor insisted on a D & C and I didn't know any different. If I would have known my choices I would have insisted on them inducing me so I could 'hold' my child even as tiny as she would have been. (about the size of the palm of my hand.) Be there for them. Go to the hospital with them if you can. Your brother may need your support. My step-brother lost one of his twins (seperate sacs), his wife delivered her and they both held her. She was so tiny. They had a regular funeral for her. I've never seen a baby so tiny. I was reminded of my own little girl and the fact I didn't get to look at her and hold her. If your brother is very child oriented maybe you could suggest him holding him/her and spending as much time as his needs after delivery. Name the child and forever know that he/she will always be their special Angel looking down upon them and his/her siblings. I told my son about his little sister and said she was his angel and she was always with him. When he felt lonely I told him to talk to her and know that she will always be with him no matter where he goes or where he is at. It brought him comfort and he did talk to her. He knows her name "Arianna Marie". Each year we remember her birthday and say a prayer for her showering our love upon her to remember her always. It is a very difficult time indeed. My comfort was in knowing she will always be with me and she does exhist. I believe one day we will be reinuited and I will be able to hold her and look into her eyes. I have even had dreams of her that are very real.. Being a spiritual being and religous being that I am, I am comforted in believing and knowing she is with me. Your brother and sister-in-law can be too. I was pregnant with my son 1 1/2 months later and didn't have one complication.. I never found out why I lost my little girl either. It is a mystery. (((hugs Sunny))), you have an angel watching over you. A special one.
blind_otter Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 My brother and his wife were due to have a child any day now... She went for her check up yesterday... no heartbeat. All was well before that. She will have to deliver the child today only to understand that it will be dead when delivered. My heart is breaking for them! They are already having to make arrangements for the burial. :( I wish I could make it better for him... I'm sorry Sunny. When my second baby died in 2004, I got a Jizo statue. Jizo is the bodhisattva of pregnant women and infants who die in utero or during infancy. In asia many times women will get little jizo statues and dress them up in baby clothes. I keep mine up on my altar. You could plant a tree for them in their baby's name? Maybe you should plan a visit sometime soon just to hang out and be there?
Author 2sunny Posted September 7, 2006 Author Posted September 7, 2006 she's laboring right now... I went to the market - I will bring them food for the next few days, take it tomorrow. Service supposed to be Saturday... They will take pictures of the baby... I am too sad to think...
BamaLady Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 Sweetie, I am so sorry. Please know you and your entire family are in my thoughts and prayers.
whichwayisup Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 I'm sorry to hear that news, my thoughts are with you all... That's the nicest and most appreciated thing, bringing food. One less thing they have to worry about.
Adunaphel Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 I'm very sorry for your brother's and his wife's loss, it is awful. It is a very ggod thing that you are there for them, giving them your support while they are going through this.
blind_otter Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 Stone gave me this link 2 years ago when my second baby died, but it helped me then.... http://www.angelfire.com/emo/miscarriage/Bio2.html
Roo Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 I am so so so sorry to hear it I've been told that its a good thing if they can bring themselves to do it if they hold they baby. take pictures handprints etc, I have a friend who lost her little one like this and she really treasures these things she was able to keep. I'll be thinking of them (((HUGS))))
RecordProducer Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 Ohhh, how sad. I am so sorry. Is she going to deliver it naturally (not surgically)? How far is she with the pregnancy?
Author 2sunny Posted September 8, 2006 Author Posted September 8, 2006 She was due to deliver any day... She had a girl - the umbilical cord was wrapped tightly around her leg, cutting off her blood supply...
basscatcher Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 She was due to deliver any day... She had a girl - the umbilical cord was wrapped tightly around her leg, cutting off her blood supply... I'm so sorry.. When my son was born his umbilical cord was wrapped around his kneck during delivery-I had to stop pushing so the Dr. could unwrap it. Some babies are very active during development and thus it happens. I really feel for you and your family. It's a hard situation to face.
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