i can get dates with girls, keeping em interested is hard

[joel]

Default i can get dates with girls, keeping em interested is hard

heres the problem , been meeting a couple of gals off the net myspace , okcupid, went out, the longest being 2 months and that was only once a wk, with all 5 of em they all tell me-no connection , no chemistry.

ok what is with this? any guys here have this problem before, and how many gals do u have to date before finding thr real right gf.

 

do u think its my lack of experience with girls, 25 with dating and girl experience of a 15 yr old.

i mean i can get a date ,but keeping em and getting em interested or for long is like -they have no interest mostly after the 2nd date.i mean i don;t think i did anything wrong- i don't swear, didn't burp or fart, didn't talk about sex, just alll and all casual small talk like school, work , hobbies and what not she and i are interested in.

 

any comments

[Guest]

The Internet age has made dating difficult. People no longer goes and find there significant other that they would like to spend time with. When you have the Internet you have no problem reaching out and touch someone in mega amount of numbers.

 

People has became eye candy. You can search millions of pictures and little essays about themselves. It is no longer like it was back in the 80s and further back where you bump into someone at a sporting event and really like him or her because they may be the 1 out of a 100 that may like the same sport as you do, It is not like going into a pizza ria and the girl who brings you the pizza looks striking and she is very nice so you ask her for her number and she is the most great looking girl you would like to take out on the town and you are the one that got her, or crossing someone at a park cracking up simple conversation finding out that Joe is the very few people who enjoys playing frisbee golf and believe in the republican way that you two have chemistry.

 

The internet age brings a list of people. You can have a list of 10 people that has your interest and both sexes wants to date them all It has become where you date number 1 and all is fine and great but let the romance feeling burn down, then you can move on to number 2 to relight that feeling again, then on to 3 4 and 5. When you have a whole list of host of people why on earth work for a relationship ever again? There is plenty people out there to relight the romance and plenty people to recycle through.

[SmoochieFace]

The Internet age has made dating difficult.

 

I would go further and say that technology in general has made dating and relating much more difficult. It's not exactly easy to approach people who have their faces smooshed up against a computer monitor or have iPod earplugs jammed into their ears or have their eyes and fingers busy with a Crackberry.

 

Couple those with the ever-increasing busy lifestyles that people are electing to follow and it's any surprise when people 'hook up' after all.

[alphamale]

any comments

yes:

[katriel]

You mention in your post that you don't do anything wrong and just make "casual small talk like school, work, hobbies and what not she and i are interested in." That's fine for the first date, but staying on that level will doom you. I'm not saying that on the second date you should become sexually aggressive, but if you don't start pushing for some sort of intimacy, you're lost. Try to find out about who she is beyond the superficial small talk stuff. This isn't something you should be doing just to create intimacy, it's also a way for you to figure out whether she is the kind of person you really want to be with. Internet dating is fine and dandy, but most of the stuff on people's profiles is about there interests. Well, shared interests are a good thing, but they don't really tell you who someone is. I went to a very small, very specialized graduate school program, and by the very nature of the program everyone there shared certain interests, but the people in the program were still very different. Some were really dorky, some were very posh, some were generous, others were selfish, everyone shared certain things in common, but were all still very different from each other. The point is, even people who look similar on paper are often very different. Even if you like the same things, your goals and desires are not necessarily identical. When you meet these women, it's fine to go with the flow on the first date, but after that, you need to start trying to get deeper than just talking about the superficial topics that small talk encompasses. Also, consider what kinds of dates you go on. Take her somewhere new, or share something you're passionate about, or maybe show her that you want to learn about something that you know is right up her alley. For example, I dated a young lady who really loved classical music, so at one point we went to an outdoor concert and had a picnic on the lawn. The fact that I had shared something that she loved and had gone out of my way to make the experience memorable raised the intimacy level of our relationship immediately. A date is an opportunity for you to share an experience, and you need to try to make that experience one that is reflective of who you are. If you just do the dinner and a movie deal, you wind up looking pretty boring. Try to make the date itself an experience that will tell her something about you. You don't have to take her skydiving, but if you happen to love Vietnamese food, and she's never had it, you might try taking her to your favorite place. Or, if she is really into a certain artist and you find out that they have an exhibit in town, take her to that. Do something that is going to be special, something that will show her that you aren't like every other guy she's dated. The thing is, you've got to open up a bit and show her some of the unique and unusual qualities about yourself, while also trying to learn about her so that you can decide how much you really like her. It takes a little bit more planning, but it makes a huge difference. Plus, you'll probably wind up having more fun yourself, especially if you pick activities that really are reflective of who you are.

 

All the best,

 

K.

[agnf666]

Meeting people from the internet is an adventure of it's own. I mean sometimes you talk to the person and you think you have alot in common and then you go out with them a few times and your like what the hell did I get myself into.

 

I know okcupid has that who "Match" thing that they do. It is interesting to really see. Sometimes the guys that I matched up with well it worked out for a little bit of time. Others it didn't.

 

WEll, maybe the girls are looking for some second date action of some sort. Or maybe you need to switch your game up a little and do somethign really interesting on the second date. Keeping her on her toes or something. Did kiss or do anything with any of these girls?

[dgiirl]

Joel always keeps coming back posting on the same topic. I'm glad he's made some progress now and has actually gone out on dates. What he doesnt seem to understand tho is, chemistry is very hard to obtain, you are not going to have it with everyone, where both sides feel that "click". It's just part of life and he should not take it personally, but learn to deal with it. Also, he needs to build on his self confidence and stop trying so hard.

 

Joel, you went out with the same girl for 2 months? That's atleast 8 dates? That's pretty impressive and you should be proud of that. Things dont always work out and the longer you spend with someone the more you see their quirks and see if it'll fit with your own personality. There's no magic method to keeping anyone's interest. There's no foolproof method that will make a fairy tale come true. You have to just wait like the rest of us until that special person comes into your life. Keep meeting new people, learn about them, show interest, but dont get frustrated and so attached to a particular outcome. Enjoy the moment and let things happen naturally. When you try to control the situation, you give off these desperate vibes, and makes the other person run in the opposite direction. Not only to you, but to everyone. Just enjoy the date for what it is, getting a chance to meet someone new. Maybe it'll work out, maybe it wont. But just enjoy the present moment

[Guest]

I'm guessing you lack intensity and confidence.

 

#1: Be funny Mr. comedian! It shows a confident air and puts girls at ease. Don't take it too far and become a smart-ass jerk. You don't have to be Eddie Murphy, but show a sense of humor.

 

#2: Treat them to someplace fun! Dinner or coffee is fine for the first meeting, maybe two. After that, you have to show them a good time! The comedy club is always a winner. I've been laid more times after going to the comedy club than any other dating scene, and even if the date is a bomb, you'll still have a good time! Also, for the first ten dates, YOU insist on footing the bill big shot!

 

#3: Go for the kiss at the end of the night! After you're aquainted, you get your first real date. At the end of that date, go for the kiss! It doesn't have to be huge, but if she's into you, she should be willing to give you a nice kiss on the lips. If she turns her cheek on you, I'd start looking for other opportunities. Some women will date you as a social outing with no real intention of starting a relationship. A kiss is a sure fire indicator of interest, and it also lets your date know you dig her.

 

#4: Don't call her all the freaking time or try to monopolize her! The beginning of the dating game is a bit touchy. You don't want to come off all clingy and radiate social dysfunction. Wait at least four days to a week before calling her back for a second date. Also, you don't want to let her know if she's the only girl you're dating. You also don't want to inquire if SHE'S dating others. You should also avoid any conversations dealing with past relationships. DON'T LOOK NEEDY! It's a real date killer!

 

 

As a final thought, you should ditch any woman who is humorless, mean, want's to know how much you make, want's to pick where you take her and likes to make it expensive, turns her cheek every time you try to get a kiss or otherwise acts like she'd rather you didn't touch her, ever.

 

Just a few lessons learned in life. They worked for me. I really didn't get a chance to try them as much a I'd have liked before I got married. They also don't guarantee a good relationship. Hell, they've written lots of very large books on that subject, what do you expect from an internet post?