Text me again and i'm coming through the phone

[The write one]

Ok, what's up with infamous text messages after a break up. I don't know, but i see a lot of the people on here saying "texting this and texting that" Well, i think it's insulting and pretty mean spirted, that is if you plan on keeping contact and ended on a good note.

Well, I was dumped by my finace and women of eight years about month ago and now all the communication i get from her---even though she was the one who said "i want to be friends"--- are text messages. Not even good ones at that. I get sh** like, "hw ws ur wknd" What the **** is that. I'm doing the whole no contact thing as a means to get over this chick, and i really don't want to be friends right now, but i was her man of eight freakin years so i respond "Good" she replies "thats gd" and that's is the end of it. At least i wrote a whole word.

Why not be woman enough to pic up the phone and say hello, how was your weekend? I wasn't a ****ing crying, pleading bag of **** the last time I saw her. I was nice, didn't mention the relationship, i got my **** and i left. So the whole pushing to get back with her isn't even an excuse for this type of treatment. Not to mention, there wasn't a bad break up between us at all. Even though my heart exploded and dripped all over my lungs when she gave me the news, i didn't hit, scream or yell. I did cried and plead a little a day or two after she broke up with me. but it's almost month later now.

I earlier refused to respond to her childish game of shorthand text games, so when she would text, i would call her. It makes more sense. Instead of pulling out my cell and thinking hard about "Let's see what am i gonna write here to show her she really isn't that important to me anymore," I pick up a phone. Texting is a waist of time in my situation, because if you're with some one a third of your life and you don't feel anything a month later, then you're a freaking tree and i'm glad your wooden ass left me.

And when I do call in responce to one of her texts, i just say, hey, how are you doin, i just found a case of your CD's in my car. Then i'm thrusted into how her day went or how her family is doing, when I really don't care. I'm just beinig cordial. My mamma taught me to respect people.

But this chick is acting like i have the freakin plague or somethin, which you can't even contract over the phone. Can somebody please explain what's the deal with the breakup texting. I say be an adult and call if you have something to say. You didn't text me when you broke my ****ing heart and ended the relationship, so show some responsiblitiy for what you created and call if you have something to say. Maybe she is trying to spare me from hearing her voice and feeling sad. Whomever believes this spares somebody grief, get over yourself. A text is much worse.

I don't know, i'm a little pissed that i've been reduced to shorthand text messages, so can someone with a clear head explain the purpose or what she is trying to prove.

After i get my laptop's coverage policy number from her (she bought it for me for on Christmas and i broke it last week) I'm completely cuttin her off. I'm declaring that day as "My Ass Ain't Responding to No GD Text Messages From Her Day."

[daphne]

you're a funny guy. I hope your sense of humour has helped you get over her. I hate texting now too. I think it's a pathetic way for humans to communicate when they're in a relationship unless it's a "can you pick me up some bread and milk at the store" kind of thing. It's a way of non communicating.

[UnknowingOW]

I've got a Treo phone...you know, cellphone, texting, web access. The keyboard is so small, and why should I text when I can call?

[The write one]

Just came from the gym and i see no one is responding, but at least i have you two. However, no one answered my question about why the texting, instead of calling. There must be somebody else or she just really wanted out of this thing for a while and doesn't want to have anything to do with me. But still wants to remain a nice person and check in from time to time. I don't know......

[norajane]

Texting is less personal and less is on the line...there's no chance of having to talk to you like there would be if she called. I think it's a coward's way of doing things, frankly.

 

The 'get bread and milk' example is the only kind of texting I find acceptable. I hate texting and have solved the problem by never - and I mean never - answering people's texts. Ever. None of my friends text me anymore. They call.

[The write one]

So she doesn't want to talk...why, I don't hound her, i keep the convo short and that's it.

[norajane]

So she doesn't want to talk...why

 

Does it really matter why?

[The write one]

Yeah it does...Man you are a Danelle Downer aren't you?

[norajane]

You started your rant saying she dumped you. Sounds like you're already down; why let her keep kicking you? You don't have to, but as long as you dwell on why she doesn't want to talk to you, that's exactly what you're doing.

[BannaBee57]

Well, I guess everyone has a different opinion than me, but I would rather my ex text me about the stupid little things we still need to communicate about (ie. the phone bill) instead of calling. He called me after 2 weeks of NC today while I was on a date to basicly complaine about the extra charges I racked up on the phone bill (which I was planning on paying him for next week when the phone bill is due).

 

I'd rather not have to hear his voice as I am still hurting over the breakup and want him back, so it puts me back at day one. It basicly ruined the rest of my evening as I sat there replaying the convo in my head and thinking about what I could have said.

 

I played it cool, asked him what he was up to, assured him I was always planning on giving him the extra amount, acted happy and light, and ended the convo first.

 

I then asked him if he wanted me to mail him the money (which I would like to do so that I don't have to see him) and he said "no thats OK, we'll figure it out later". What the heck does that mean? I don't want to see him!

 

So, you see, in my case I would much rather talk through text, email, or morris code. Anything but having to hear his voice...it tears me up inside!

[witabix]

morris code

 

Thats where you dance out the mesage?

 

Really sorry for that. Purely facetious.

[jec]

all i know is this. if you really don't want to see someone again, you don't get in contact. not at all. there are no excuses about "you left your jumper here" or "you've got my cd's". those are just things and they are not a reason, not even an excuse, for getting in touch.

 

anyone who texts you after dumping you is being a coward. if someone really cares about what you're going through, they'll call you and say "you might prefer it if we didn't speak ever again, or for a while. but i would like to stay in touch because i still like you and i worry about you. what do you think?" they might not say it like that, but unless it's a booty call, that's what they mean.

 

texting and even emailing is cowardly and it's quick. but it still shows they are feeling guilty or horny or sad or lonely or happy and therefore patronising... whatever. but not enough to make the time to pick up the phone and call. so ignore it! switch your mobile off if needs be. i never used to, but now i leave my phone off all night every night in case the balding alcoholic tw*t feels the need to ring me at 5am.

 

on the other hand, if YOU as the dumpee initiate contact, you are really saying "i am not over you. i am still thinking about you and i want you to know that i am a mess/doing just fine/shagging someone really hot but it's not enough 'cos i'm still thinking about you and i just proved it by texting you".

 

there is NO SUCH THING as a casual text from the dumpee. ask yourself if you'll really be glad you sent it in 12 months time. the answer is bound to be no. just ignore her pathetic texts - it will intrigue her much more if she knows you don't have the time/inclination to pick up the phone to her any more. why should you be a lapdog and salve her conscience by being friendly on the phone so she thinks "oh he's ok after all".

 

as greenday said in the best breakup song ever (other than "well f*ck you too, gimme my money back you bitch" by ben folds five)

 

... "for what it's worth, it was worth all the while" ...

[Winfield]

I say be an adult and call if you have something to say.

 

Never a truer phrase said. A phonecall is (at least) a million times better than an impersonal "message"...

 

If the communication channels have slipped to a "low" which you're not happy with (ie, like the undecipherable texts she sends you), then tell her...and then cease communication...because if she hasn't the decency to talk like an adult, she's clearly not worthy of your time.

 

Annoying as her "messages" may be, but don't let it get to you - if you don't like it, change it, and get rid!

 

Simple!

[InaPanic]

maybe she is wanting to keep communication with you open but isn't comfortable talking to you yet cause she knows she hurt you. Vague, brief & light text messages are easier in that situation. Perhaps in the future she would like for you all to be friends (which i think is nearly impossible if you still have feelings/anger towards her) and this is how she is trying to slowly start that. AFter awhile of texting then maybe she'd call. But ifyou aren't over this girl i think NC is the best. Not the easiest 'cause i struggle with it daily but the best.

[superconductor]

I'm not really familiar with the whole text messaging thing. Is there a way you can block her so you won't receive her messages anymore?

[missy77]

Change you're cell number, problem solved.

[Just2Cute1972]

OMG im going thru the EXACT same thing. He started texting me a week after he left me. The most recent one was "Sayin hi woman..how has the boy been" (referring to my son, not his) to which he sent last nite. Others were to tell me about his new blue eye contacts, or his new tattoo, or the fact he has all this money saved, or the fact he is gettin a new apt..does he think i REALLY wanna hear that ****? Why do it?? U dont want me, you are already hooked up with some other chic that you get along with "tremendously" (as he put it) so leave me ALONE! I tried to tell him once already and i got the infamous "but i cant lose u from my life ur my best friend blah blah" Screw that. I didnt respond back to the most recent one. He knows it hurts me, he KNOWS it does, i told him it does!! Its been 4 weeks today for me since he left. This is a guy that fell out of love with me in a month btw after 5 years of being together...pfft.

[burning 4 revenge]

I got all of that stuff too, but with e-mails and phone calls and invitations to hang out as "friends" so I could hear about her relationship issues with my replacement.

 

I'll never forget " I told Michael in bed last night that I miss you, because you were my soulmate. He never reads to me like you did, but I'm getting him to start, that was just so special."

 

This from someone who dumped me.

 

F*ck that, you don't need that pain, why stay in contact?

[serial muse]

I got all of that stuff too, but with e-mails and phone calls and invitations to hang out as "friends" so I could hear about her relationship issues with my replacement.

 

I'll never forget " I told Michael in bed last night that I miss you, because you were my soulmate. He never reads to me like you did, but I'm getting him to start, that was just so special."

 

This from someone who dumped me.

 

F*ck that, you don't need that pain, why stay in contact?

 

texting an ex is moronic and cowardly, i agree, OP. but as b4r points out, there's something to be said for the ex communicating in a medium where it's going to be too much work to give TM(****ing)I, e.g messages such as this gem that she sent him here.

 

it's just assy, any way you slice it. why contact at all? these are the mysteries...

[daphne]

I'll never forget " I told Michael in bed last night that I miss you, because you were my soulmate. He never reads to me like you did, but I'm getting him to start, that was just so special."

 

This from someone who dumped me.

 

your ex gets the ass of the year award.

[Jaded-Arie]

Just came from the gym and i see no one is responding, but at least i have you two. However, no one answered my question about why the texting, instead of calling. There must be somebody else or she just really wanted out of this thing for a while and doesn't want to have anything to do with me. But still wants to remain a nice person and check in from time to time. I don't know......

 

Texting is a way of 'touching base' without HAVING to talk to a person. I hate texting with an absolute passion. My now EX texted me wanting to hang out, then I was dumped . Well, I knew with the texting that something was up. Its the most impersonal way of communicating ever. My best friend's now EX Husband text her that someone will be delivering divorce papers. Dude had gone up North on business and my friend was crushed. Sad.

[Jaded-Arie]

all i know is this. if you really don't want to see someone again, you don't get in contact. not at all. there are no excuses about "you left your jumper here" or "you've got my cd's". those are just things and they are not a reason, not even an excuse, for getting in touch.

quote]

 

I read Greg's Book, 'Its called a breakup because it is broken'. He was talking about NC and saying, after the dump, the dumpee should never contact dumper or even pick up phone when dumper calls. 'Sure he has your CDs, your favourite sweater, your favourite penis...'. I was roflmao at penis... cheered me right up that book

[The write one]

I can't block her from texting, she has my number and that's all she wrote...no pun intended. Anyway, i get a GD text tonight, so vague and so robotic that it's to the piont of silly.

 

"did u get n e of my messages bout ur messages?" she texted.

 

An hour later, becasue i'm doing the whole NC thing... in hopes that she will reconsider dumping...

 

she texted "cn u least say y or no,"

 

What the **** is that about. I didn't know you could get screamed on through texting, but she has managed to do it.

 

I won't lie, it felt good because the whole day i kept telling myself get over her, get over her and thinking she's gotten over you (obvisouly or she wouldn't have dumped you). But perhaps the whole "please answer my text, so i will know i'm a good person," made me feel a little vindicated in the short term of things.

 

And i also hoped that maybe this NC thing might be working and she is realizing she **** up.

 

Who knows. This realationship thing we humans get ourselves into is all a big game and that isn't real love, it a con game. From the begining of a blissful relationship to the bitter end...It's all a big mindf***. Now how is that real love.

 

That's not my question though. My question is what's the deal with the most recent text...She'll problem call me childish and go out with some dude to feel better afterwards, and as much as that hurts to think, i'm not reponding to no GD text.

[bluegal79]

Good post.

 

I have a question about texting also.

 

I was the dumpee. My ex finace dumped through an email sent by his mom 3 months ago. The anniversary of his brother's death(from a car accident) is coming up this week. It is a difficult day for him because he was also the driver in that car accident.

 

This man shattered my heart, but I do still love him. Should I send him a text message that day that says, "You are in my thoughts and prayers today,"

or should I not send him anything at all?

[backtosquare_one]

dont send anything or telling how u feel unless you want to feel like a fool afterwards.

 

i do agree that after a break up, it is way better to stay away from your ex-related stuff. solid NC would be the best. I am applying to my self now...

because of a girl that i really really like who said to me "what do u htink if we become friends ?"