manicgirl Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 hi just wondering if any1 has a relationship where woman is 34 and male is 26? if so, what problems (if any) do you encounter? Link to post Share on other sites
luvstarved Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 The only problem I know of is when one or the other partner has a problem with it. In that case, eventually the issue can grow into a dealbreaker. Outside of that, I don't think you should have any more problems than any other relationship. Occasionally it seems that over time a man might eventually leave for a younger woman, but that happens even when both partners are the same age, or when the woman is younger but not younger enough!! I am not saying that age never makes a difference. If you're talking about a generation gap, say 13 years or more difference then there are issues of being able to relate to each other, having grown up in different worlds, more or less...but 8 years I don't think should be that big a deal... Link to post Share on other sites
stoopid_guy Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 I am not saying that age never makes a difference. If you're talking about a generation gap, say 13 years or more difference then there are issues of being able to relate to each other, having grown up in different worlds, more or less...but 8 years I don't think should be that big a deal... I don't even think the generation gap thing is so big, more important are goals. For example, if the woman is older, has kids, and doesn't want more and the man has no kids but wants them. Link to post Share on other sites
luvstarved Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 I don't even think the generation gap thing is so big, more important are goals. For example, if the woman is older, has kids, and doesn't want more and the man has no kids but wants them. Yeah I did not mean it to sound like a gloom and doom sort of thing as though people 13 years or more apart didn't stand a chance! Sorry if it came out that way! I was trying to think of special potential problems with age differences; I have been on both sides of this (guy 12 years older, another guy 9 years younger) and even at those ages, there was a bit of a world context difference. I have heard from people with bigger gaps (I will say that the age difference was not relevant to either of my breakups) that they do have a bit of a hard time relating to their partners...due to being at different levels of life experience as well as more or less having grown up in different "eras"...but I don't believe in doom and gloom on the basis of age alone, no matter how big the gap... Link to post Share on other sites
bella_girl Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 I can name a few problems as I'm 32 and my ex is 26. The difference of 6 years in my case was not the problem it was (as others said) different stages of life. When i first met my ex (he was 24) he was starting out on his career. So I earnt more than him (still do) and was more progressed in my career, not suffering from 'do I really want to do this as my job' as I'd finally sorted that out. Social activities, he was still quite into clubbing on weekends but after 10 solid years of it I was completely over it by 27 so not really interested in going to a club on a Sat night. Financial independence I'd bought a house which he was in no financial position to be able to undertake, I think he felt he was always trying to catch up. I didn't feel this way but I think he had this idea that he was the man and should earn more, have the house etc. His friends and where they were at, his friends were around his age and some younger, so I felt like I stuck out a bit sometimes when with them. I didn't really relate to a lot of them either. Ultimately though it was the long term commitment 'where is this relationship' going that broke us up. Me being 30 wanting to settle down have kids etc, that's not on his radar yet, so we were just incompatible. But it all depends on the person... my friend who is 34 married a 24year old and they are fine, progressing towards the same goals etc. Talk about things is all I can say but get the kids issue (if important to you) out there on the table early so he knows where you stand/want. (though not like on the 3rd date!). Link to post Share on other sites
UnknowingOW Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 Personally there is no problem with it. I've dated men 15-years older and 9-years younger. I don't look my age, so it works out nicely. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 I date older men and there are problems. Mainly in their expectations. The older guy will expect me to behave like a woman his age, and forget that I have different goals, a different focus in my life. I'm 26 and I'm starting out in my career. I don't have any responsibilities other than...well, me and my dogs. Older men tend to have exW's and children to deal with, which I can understand but not internalize. I don't have kids. I don't really want any at this point. And yeah I tend to get restless and bored because I want to go out and do stuff that the older men are, for the most part, just over it. They're at a different stage in life. It can work if you have an open line of communication and you don't get offended that the younger person has a different focus and different goals at that point in their life. That is all. Link to post Share on other sites
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