Don't want to date him

[Forever Searching]

Please help me!! I need major advice before things get out of control. I just started a part time job for extra money that I really really need. One of the managers is new as well and from out of town. We made small talk and I didn't think anything of it. He was hinting that he didn't know too many people in the area so I tried to be nice and invited him to see the game with me last night after work.

 

Well then he took it the wrong way and was talking about dating me and kissed me and stuff. I really think it would be stupid to date a manager and I"m not really interested in him. I feel stuck cause I don't want to make him angry and have him make my life hell at work but I don't want to lead him on.

 

Should I just flat out tell him I'm not interested in mixing work with personal business or should I make up and excuse and tell him I got back together with an ex or something?? I wish I wouldn't have been so nice to him maybe that lead him on?? I'm just not a mean nasty person and I was trying to be polite and I guess he read the wrong signs. Even though he is younger than me he is my manager and I feel he is being immature and unprofessional. I just want to make extra money in peace. Is that so much to ask for?

[Pink Amulet]

Just leave it, don't make a big deal over it- because then it will be.

 

Make a concious effort to speak to him in a very platonic manner.

 

If he makes any more advances, act shocked, and say you are very flattered but you are just recently out of a relationship, and not ready to date yet.

 

Although- I must ask, did you kiss him back?

[Jilly10340]

I agree, I would just leave it and not make a big deal out of it.

 

You're not obligated to keep going out with him and kissing him. Just don't put yourself in that situation again, and if you do go out, go out with a group of people so it seems more like a friend thing. He'll get the hint

[littlekitty]

Although- I must ask, did you kiss him back?

 

I was wondering about that.

 

I mean, the easiest thing would have been to have made it clear last night when he started mentioning dating, or even tried to kiss you! Why not say then, 'Sorry, perhaps you misunderstood my intentions. I was just trying to make you feel at home here, and be a friend.'?

[Forever Searching]

I did kiss him back but I didn't mean to. I mean he grabbed my face and planted one on me, I couldn't move.

 

So you are saying just pretend it didn't happen and act aloof with him?? Maybe he'll give up and move on quickly hopefully.

[serial muse]

i think you can easily tell him you don't want to mix business and personal life - it's a good reason, and it has the benefit of being at least partially true. also, it's a major ego-saver - hard to take that one personally. seems like a win-win excuse to me.

 

you can leave it without saying anything for now if you want, but he'll probably ask you to do something at some point, so you'll have to face it one way or another. just tell him that the situation makes you uncomfortable, and you don't want it to go any further because you prefer to keep those things separate. which is all very true.

[Forever Searching]

Thank you everyone for the advice. He called me last night to ask me out and I explained I didn't feel comfortable in dating someone I work with and that I think it would be wise on both our ends to keep our relationship strictly platonic. He seemed a little bummed but not angry thank goodness.

 

I just hope now that we can continue working without any weirdness.