Boyfriend- Bi- HELP

[Dying]

I have never felt pain like this before. My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me this past summer. We had been together since we were 15, were each other's first everythings, and survived going to separate colleges and so forth. He moved away last year and the distance brought us closer than ever, we were more serious that we had ever been and were making plans to move in together after graduation and so on. This is the love of my life, the person I want to grow old with. The breakup destroyed me and took me off gaurd. Things were going so well I couldn't understand it. He said he still loved me but if he was to spend his life with me he needed to be on his own and experience other people, both of us have never been with other people. So I figured he's young and had been with me for so long that it was probably normal for him to want to experience other things. We stayed close and I knew he would come back to me- it's almost like he was telling me he just needed some time and that we would be back together. This past year has been the hardest ever. He went back to school in the fall and became more distant than ever. We still talked, but it was like he was letting go of me, which scared me to death. I found out he was seeing someone and it destroyed me. Everyone told me it was good and that it would make him want me and come back to me. He told me it wasn't serious and that he missed me and that he was just trying new experiences. I figured by the end of the year and with graduation we'd be back together. Last night I found out he has been in a relationship, serious relationship, with this person since Sept. He is 22, they are 31. This entire time he has lied to me that they have been together. He told me it was a woman, but last night he revealed it was a man. I cannot even begin to comprehend this. He has always loved women. How can he go from being with me for 6 years to being in a serious relationship with a man? He says he is bi, but everyone else tells me he just won't admit he is gay. I can understand if he needs to experience this, but what I want to know is if he will ever be with women again, and more so, if I will ever get a chance to be with him again. I am not ready to accept that this is over. We have been through everything together and have grown up together. No matter how hard the times are, we have always gotten through it together and end up closer. I am best friends with his family. I am so in love with him and I am falling apart. All I want is hope that we are not over forever and that I will get a chance to be with him again.......... Please help, my heart is broken

[Bill]

Well... it is very odd that a guy would do that. There must have been this thought in his head before. I don't know what other guys are like, but homosexuality offends me. It is just the way I am. I feel that you really need to talk to him and figure out if he is pre-determined to like that sort of thing. He is either very confused, or that is the way he is. It is linked the the brain patterns, which person female or male that a person is attracted to, his may have always been one way. Do not let this wait, talk to this him immediately about this.

I have never felt pain like this before. My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me this past summer. We had been together since we were 15, were each other's first everythings, and survived going to separate colleges and so forth. He moved away last year and the distance brought us closer than ever, we were more serious that we had ever been and were making plans to move in together after graduation and so on. This is the love of my life, the person I want to grow old with. The breakup destroyed me and took me off gaurd. Things were going so well I couldn't understand it. He said he still loved me but if he was to spend his life with me he needed to be on his own and experience other people, both of us have never been with other people. So I figured he's young and had been with me for so long that it was probably normal for him to want to experience other things. We stayed close and I knew he would come back to me- it's almost like he was telling me he just needed some time and that we would be back together. This past year has been the hardest ever. He went back to school in the fall and became more distant than ever. We still talked, but it was like he was letting go of me, which scared me to death. I found out he was seeing someone and it destroyed me. Everyone told me it was good and that it would make him want me and come back to me. He told me it wasn't serious and that he missed me and that he was just trying new experiences. I figured by the end of the year and with graduation we'd be back together. Last night I found out he has been in a relationship, serious relationship, with this person since Sept. He is 22, they are 31. This entire time he has lied to me that they have been together. He told me it was a woman, but last night he revealed it was a man. I cannot even begin to comprehend this. He has always loved women. How can he go from being with me for 6 years to being in a serious relationship with a man? He says he is bi, but everyone else tells me he just won't admit he is gay. I can understand if he needs to experience this, but what I want to know is if he will ever be with women again, and more so, if I will ever get a chance to be with him again. I am not ready to accept that this is over. We have been through everything together and have grown up together. No matter how hard the times are, we have always gotten through it together and end up closer. I am best friends with his family. I am so in love with him and I am falling apart. All I want is hope that we are not over forever and that I will get a chance to be with him again.......... Please help, my heart is broken

[yes]

I just wanna let u know that bisexuality does exist - yes, such people can be attracted to both genders. He is most likely not trying to hide that he's gay - he rlly is bi.

 

Now he is also a bad person, to my mind. Lying that his affrair isn't serious while it was ....... that sux. I mean i can see why it'd very very hard to him to let go of u, but keeping u for himself was selfish and cruel of him. I've been told time n time again guys have a hard time breaking up with the first girl they slept with... so that may be one of the reasons he kept lying.

 

In any case, now that you know, all you can do is move on ... Not because he's bi, but because he's a liar... big time... That's what I'd do ...

 

best of luck ..... u'll heal, don't worry....... heal & start dating around ... u also need experience

I have never felt pain like this before. My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me this past summer. We had been together since we were 15, were each other's first everythings, and survived going to separate colleges and so forth. He moved away last year and the distance brought us closer than ever, we were more serious that we had ever been and were making plans to move in together after graduation and so on. This is the love of my life, the person I want to grow old with. The breakup destroyed me and took me off gaurd. Things were going so well I couldn't understand it. He said he still loved me but if he was to spend his life with me he needed to be on his own and experience other people, both of us have never been with other people. So I figured he's young and had been with me for so long that it was probably normal for him to want to experience other things. We stayed close and I knew he would come back to me- it's almost like he was telling me he just needed some time and that we would be back together. This past year has been the hardest ever. He went back to school in the fall and became more distant than ever. We still talked, but it was like he was letting go of me, which scared me to death. I found out he was seeing someone and it destroyed me. Everyone told me it was good and that it would make him want me and come back to me. He told me it wasn't serious and that he missed me and that he was just trying new experiences. I figured by the end of the year and with graduation we'd be back together. Last night I found out he has been in a relationship, serious relationship, with this person since Sept. He is 22, they are 31. This entire time he has lied to me that they have been together. He told me it was a woman, but last night he revealed it was a man. I cannot even begin to comprehend this. He has always loved women. How can he go from being with me for 6 years to being in a serious relationship with a man? He says he is bi, but everyone else tells me he just won't admit he is gay. I can understand if he needs to experience this, but what I want to know is if he will ever be with women again, and more so, if I will ever get a chance to be with him again. I am not ready to accept that this is over. We have been through everything together and have grown up together. No matter how hard the times are, we have always gotten through it together and end up closer. I am best friends with his family. I am so in love with him and I am falling apart. All I want is hope that we are not over forever and that I will get a chance to be with him again.......... Please help, my heart is broken

[velvet]

I feel your pain. You are young.I can tell you that at our age, and about 95% of males in our age range dont want to be tied down for very long. They need to be open for better deals period. They fear that if in a r/s another beauty comes along they are missing out.

 

If he wants to expierence other people than he's going to do it. As should you. It's part of life these day's to expierence all that you can. Sometimes that means moving on to other relationships.

 

You ask about his sexuality. He may be gay if he chooses to have a r/s with another man. If he is bi than he wouldnt choose to have a r/s with a man. It would be brief sexual encounter.

 

 

 

I have never felt pain like this before. My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me this past summer. We had been together since we were 15, were each other's first everythings, and survived going to separate colleges and so forth. He moved away last year and the distance brought us closer than ever, we were more serious that we had ever been and were making plans to move in together after graduation and so on. This is the love of my life, the person I want to grow old with. The breakup destroyed me and took me off gaurd. Things were going so well I couldn't understand it. He said he still loved me but if he was to spend his life with me he needed to be on his own and experience other people, both of us have never been with other people. So I figured he's young and had been with me for so long that it was probably normal for him to want to experience other things. We stayed close and I knew he would come back to me- it's almost like he was telling me he just needed some time and that we would be back together. This past year has been the hardest ever. He went back to school in the fall and became more distant than ever. We still talked, but it was like he was letting go of me, which scared me to death. I found out he was seeing someone and it destroyed me. Everyone told me it was good and that it would make him want me and come back to me. He told me it wasn't serious and that he missed me and that he was just trying new experiences. I figured by the end of the year and with graduation we'd be back together. Last night I found out he has been in a relationship, serious relationship, with this person since Sept. He is 22, they are 31. This entire time he has lied to me that they have been together. He told me it was a woman, but last night he revealed it was a man. I cannot even begin to comprehend this. He has always loved women. How can he go from being with me for 6 years to being in a serious relationship with a man? He says he is bi, but everyone else tells me he just won't admit he is gay. I can understand if he needs to experience this, but what I want to know is if he will ever be with women again, and more so, if I will ever get a chance to be with him again. I am not ready to accept that this is over. We have been through everything together and have grown up together. No matter how hard the times are, we have always gotten through it together and end up closer. I am best friends with his family. I am so in love with him and I am falling apart. All I want is hope that we are not over forever and that I will get a chance to be with him again.......... Please help, my heart is broken

[yes]

misconception of bisexuality:

 

If he is bi than he wouldnt choose to have a r/s with a man. It would be brief sexual encounter.

That's plain wrong. Ask any bi person.

[arthropod98]

well, being that i've BEEN through a similar situation with an ex-girlfriend, i can totally relate. thing is though, i really think you need to let him go. the problem is, even if this is a "phase" or whatever-you-wanna-call it, who's to say where his preferences will be in a few years.

 

so, say you 2 get back together, cause he believes he experienced everything he needed to, but THEN, he decides he truly hasn't?? can you imagine yourself being married, and then he starts questioning his sexuality again??

 

my thought is, you need to let him go. i know it's not easy by ANY means, but you will also be dealing with his questions and wonderings . . . and that is MUCH worse, in my opinion.

 

best of luck to you, and remember -- you don't NEED anyone to complete your life, only YOU can do that!!

I have never felt pain like this before. My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me this past summer. We had been together since we were 15, were each other's first everythings, and survived going to separate colleges and so forth. He moved away last year and the distance brought us closer than ever, we were more serious that we had ever been and were making plans to move in together after graduation and so on. This is the love of my life, the person I want to grow old with. The breakup destroyed me and took me off gaurd. Things were going so well I couldn't understand it. He said he still loved me but if he was to spend his life with me he needed to be on his own and experience other people, both of us have never been with other people. So I figured he's young and had been with me for so long that it was probably normal for him to want to experience other things. We stayed close and I knew he would come back to me- it's almost like he was telling me he just needed some time and that we would be back together. This past year has been the hardest ever. He went back to school in the fall and became more distant than ever. We still talked, but it was like he was letting go of me, which scared me to death. I found out he was seeing someone and it destroyed me. Everyone told me it was good and that it would make him want me and come back to me. He told me it wasn't serious and that he missed me and that he was just trying new experiences. I figured by the end of the year and with graduation we'd be back together. Last night I found out he has been in a relationship, serious relationship, with this person since Sept. He is 22, they are 31. This entire time he has lied to me that they have been together. He told me it was a woman, but last night he revealed it was a man. I cannot even begin to comprehend this. He has always loved women. How can he go from being with me for 6 years to being in a serious relationship with a man? He says he is bi, but everyone else tells me he just won't admit he is gay. I can understand if he needs to experience this, but what I want to know is if he will ever be with women again, and more so, if I will ever get a chance to be with him again. I am not ready to accept that this is over. We have been through everything together and have grown up together. No matter how hard the times are, we have always gotten through it together and end up closer. I am best friends with his family. I am so in love with him and I am falling apart. All I want is hope that we are not over forever and that I will get a chance to be with him again.......... Please help, my heart is broken

[Dying]

Dear Anthropod,

 

Thank you for your response. I would really like to hear more of your related situation if you are willing to share. You can email me if you like.

 

Thanks

 

Christy <e-mail address removed>

well, being that i've BEEN through a similar situation with an ex-girlfriend, i can totally relate. thing is though, i really think you need to let him go. the problem is, even if this is a "phase" or whatever-you-wanna-call it, who's to say where his preferences will be in a few years. so, say you 2 get back together, cause he believes he experienced everything he needed to, but THEN, he decides he truly hasn't?? can you imagine yourself being married, and then he starts questioning his sexuality again?? my thought is, you need to let him go. i know it's not easy by ANY means, but you will also be dealing with his questions and wonderings . . . and that is MUCH worse, in my opinion. best of luck to you, and remember -- you don't NEED anyone to complete your life, only YOU can do that!!

[Dying]

I would like to thank you all for taking the time to post. Your words and thoughts mean so much to me. I support him experimenting being who he is. He says he is bi and I believe that a person can really be bi. I just worry that I will hold on thinking he will come back to me and then he might admit to being gay. Despite that, the part I am having a hardest time with is the fact that he is involved with someone else. It does not make any difference that it is a man, it is still someone who he shares a connection with and is emotionally bonding too. As much as I want him to experience new things, I never wanted him to get into a serious relationship. I fear that the longer this continues, the less he will feel for me until most of his romantic feelings for me are gone. At this point all I want is for him to be happy and I do want a chance to be with him. No one can promise me whether or not that can happen and I fear that I will be holding on to that. This was the person I was planning on being married too- in 3 months we had made arrangements for me to move in with him, so this is really affecting multiple aspects of my life. I can't let go and I can't stop loving him, and I don't know where to go from here.

I have never felt pain like this before. My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me this past summer. We had been together since we were 15, were each other's first everythings, and survived going to separate colleges and so forth. He moved away last year and the distance brought us closer than ever, we were more serious that we had ever been and were making plans to move in together after graduation and so on. This is the love of my life, the person I want to grow old with. The breakup destroyed me and took me off gaurd. Things were going so well I couldn't understand it. He said he still loved me but if he was to spend his life with me he needed to be on his own and experience other people, both of us have never been with other people. So I figured he's young and had been with me for so long that it was probably normal for him to want to experience other things. We stayed close and I knew he would come back to me- it's almost like he was telling me he just needed some time and that we would be back together. This past year has been the hardest ever. He went back to school in the fall and became more distant than ever. We still talked, but it was like he was letting go of me, which scared me to death. I found out he was seeing someone and it destroyed me. Everyone told me it was good and that it would make him want me and come back to me. He told me it wasn't serious and that he missed me and that he was just trying new experiences. I figured by the end of the year and with graduation we'd be back together. Last night I found out he has been in a relationship, serious relationship, with this person since Sept. He is 22, they are 31. This entire time he has lied to me that they have been together. He told me it was a woman, but last night he revealed it was a man. I cannot even begin to comprehend this. He has always loved women. How can he go from being with me for 6 years to being in a serious relationship with a man? He says he is bi, but everyone else tells me he just won't admit he is gay. I can understand if he needs to experience this, but what I want to know is if he will ever be with women again, and more so, if I will ever get a chance to be with him again. I am not ready to accept that this is over. We have been through everything together and have grown up together. No matter how hard the times are, we have always gotten through it together and end up closer. I am best friends with his family. I am so in love with him and I am falling apart. All I want is hope that we are not over forever and that I will get a chance to be with him again.......... Please help, my heart is broken

[Dying]

I would like to thank you all for taking the time to post. Your words and thoughts mean so much to me. I support him experimenting being who he is. He says he is bi and I believe that a person can really be bi. I just worry that I will hold on thinking he will come back to me and then he might admit to being gay. Despite that, the part I am having a hardest time with is the fact that he is involved with someone else. It does not make any difference that it is a man, it is still someone who he shares a connection with and is emotionally bonding too. As much as I want him to experience new things, I never wanted him to get into a serious relationship. I fear that the longer this continues, the less he will feel for me until most of his romantic feelings for me are gone. At this point all I want is for him to be happy and I do want a chance to be with him. No one can promise me whether or not that can happen and I fear that I will be holding on to that. This was the person I was planning on being married too- in 3 months we had made arrangements for me to move in with him, so this is really affecting multiple aspects of my life. I can't let go and I can't stop loving him, and I don't know where to go from here.

[BeenThere]

Dying,

 

I've been reading your posts and I am very empathetic to what you must be going through right now. Although I've never been in this particular situation myself, I have two girlfriends and a current boyfriend who have been where you are now.

 

I have no real advice to offer...only an objective observation. I think this is one of those *issues* that seem to divide the sexes. Let me explain...

 

While both of my female friends were devastated to learn that their male partners were with other men, they were more bothered by the emotional connection there boyfriends where having with their new partner than they were about the same-sex bonding. To them, it was no different than if they had left them for another woman. To a woman, an affair is an affair, it doesn't matter the gender.

 

On the other hand, my boyfriend was *okay* with his girlfriends cheating. He said he would have been devastated if he found out she was cheating on him with another man. When I asked him to elaborate, he said that he would have compared himself to another other man, wondering if he was better looking; funnier; more charming..."better than him in bed". But the fact that she cheated on him with another woman meant that he wasn't lacking anything as a "man." The only thing this woman had to offer him that he couldn't was the fact that she was "another woman."

 

They even remained friends with his ex-girlfriend and her partner for a time after that. The three of them going out together on occasion. And perhaps he'll kill me for telling...but this ex-girlfriend even entertained thoughts of him fathering a child for her and her girlfriend. (D*ck in a glass jar, I suspect).

 

I could be wrong, but I think males are more bothered by the fact that there is another man who is sexually competing with them. Male ego, I suppose. While women, who have difficulty separating sex from emotional intimacy, feel that an affair is more of a betrayal of the *heart*. Therefore, the gender of "the other lover" doesn't offer any comfort in these situations.

 

I truly sympathize with you and stand beside arthropod in his response to you initial post. You are in love with someone who is no longer the person you once knew. You can love all the wonderful qualities about him...and continue to love him as a friend. But it will be difficult if you do so while continuing to hang onto hope that he will once again become the boyfriend you once had&

 

I would like to thank you all for taking the time to post. Your words and thoughts mean so much to me. I support him experimenting being who he is. He says he is bi and I believe that a person can really be bi. I just worry that I will hold on thinking he will come back to me and then he might admit to being gay. Despite that, the part I am having a hardest time with is the fact that he is involved with someone else. It does not make any difference that it is a man, it is still someone who he shares a connection with and is emotionally bonding too. As much as I want him to experience new things, I never wanted him to get into a serious relationship. I fear that the longer this continues, the less he will feel for me until most of his romantic feelings for me are gone. At this point all I want is for him to be happy and I do want a chance to be with him. No one can promise me whether or not that can happen and I fear that I will be holding on to that. This was the person I was planning on being married too- in 3 months we had made arrangements for me to move in with him, so this is really affecting multiple aspects of my life. I can't let go and I can't stop loving him, and I don't know where to go from here.

[Dying]

BeenThere,

 

Thank you for your response. Yes, I agree with you completely on the difference of the genders. What bothers me most is that he is spending quality time, connecting, emotionally bonding with someone else. No, this would not be in any different if it were a woman, which is why I agree that the gender of the other does not matter to a woman. I am still in shock and still sick to my stomach. I know everyone will hammer me for this, but I still want to hold onto hope that maybe I could get another chance with him someday or that after this experience he would realize that he wants to be with me. I know this is no way to live, as right now I feel as though I am dead. I think the only way I can resolve this is with professional help, so I going to try and do that. There is just no way I can do this on my own. I do realize that he has changed, but the connection between him and I has not. It's as if he wants both worlds- he gets a connection with the man he cannot get from me and a connection from me he cannot get with the man. He held on to me for a long time and now it's starting to feel like he's letting go- which kills me more than anything. I feel like the longer he is involved with this person, the more likely he will lose his feelings for me and lose any desire to be with me again. He still calls everyday, I don't know if there is any significance to that. I feel like I'm more of his partner than this other guy- I'm the person he calls first, tells news too, or gets help writing his papers from. It just feels like he's throwing away something that lasted for 6 years just to try something new and exciting and I'm the one who is going to lose either way. I wish there was something, anything I could do to turn this around, but I know that is not within my power. Although I do wonder if there would be any sort of effect if I cut all ties with him. (something I have never done and cannot imagine doing) He keeps telling me he wants to me have a new boyfriend, he's been my only, would that change his feelings for me? I just don't think there is any I can do but try and take care of myself.

Dying, I've been reading your posts and I am very empathetic to what you must be going through right now. Although I've never been in this particular situation myself, I have two girlfriends and a current boyfriend who have been where you are now. I have no real advice to offer...only an objective observation. I think this is one of those *issues* that seem to divide the sexes. Let me explain... While both of my female friends were devastated to learn that their male partners were with other men, they were more bothered by the emotional connection there boyfriends where having with their new partner than they were about the same-sex bonding. To them, it was no different than if they had left them for another woman. To a woman, an affair is an affair, it doesn't matter the gender. On the other hand, my boyfriend was *okay* with his girlfriends cheating. He said he would have been devastated if he found out she was cheating on him with another man. When I asked him to elaborate, he said that he would have compared himself to another other man, wondering if he was better looking; funnier; more charming..."better than him in bed". But the fact that she cheated on him with another woman meant that he wasn't lacking anything as a "man." The only thing this woman had to offer him that he couldn't was the fact that she was "another woman."

 

They even remained friends with his ex-girlfriend and her partner for a time after that. The three of them going out together on occasion. And perhaps he'll kill me for telling...but this ex-girlfriend even entertained thoughts of him fathering a child for her and her girlfriend. (D*ck in a glass jar, I suspect). I could be wrong, but I think males are more bothered by the fact that there is another man who is sexually competing with them. Male ego, I suppose. While women, who have difficulty separating sex from emotional intimacy, feel that an affair is more of a betrayal of the *heart*. Therefore, the gender of "the other lover" doesn't offer any comfort in these situations. I truly sympathize with you and stand beside arthropod in his response to you initial post. You are in love with someone who is no longer the person you once knew. You can love all the wonderful qualities about him...and continue to love him as a friend. But it will be difficult if you do so while continuing to hang onto hope that he will once again become the boyfriend you once had…

[yes]

u said: He keeps telling me he wants to me have a new boyfriend

 

There's your answer! He's connected to you mentally - as a close friend, i suppose, but he wants u to move on, romantically. Thats what u should do! There's no reason to sit around and wait for him, I think. If he ever wants you back into his life (as a romantic partner), THEN u'll think about it ... until then - he's just a friend of yours. Get over him, lose contact for months if u need to, but heal and move on! There's many great men out there, believe me. Best of luck to u. I know it hurts like hell now, but believe me - ive been hurt too - it gets better. time heals. just be nice to yourself, cut contact with him, and HEAL ...

 

best of luck,

 

yes

 

BeenThere, Thank you for your response. Yes, I agree with you completely on the difference of the genders. What bothers me most is that he is spending quality time, connecting, emotionally bonding with someone else. No, this would not be in any different if it were a woman, which is why I agree that the gender of the other does not matter to a woman. I am still in shock and still sick to my stomach. I know everyone will hammer me for this, but I still want to hold onto hope that maybe I could get another chance with him someday or that after this experience he would realize that he wants to be with me. I know this is no way to live, as right now I feel as though I am dead. I think the only way I can resolve this is with professional help, so I going to try and do that. There is just no way I can do this on my own. I do realize that he has changed, but the connection between him and I has not. It's as if he wants both worlds- he gets a connection with the man he cannot get from me and a connection from me he cannot get with the man. He held on to me for a long time and now it's starting to feel like he's letting go- which kills me more than anything. I feel like the longer he is involved with this person, the more likely he will lose his feelings for me and lose any desire to be with me again. He still calls everyday, I don't know if there is any significance to that. I feel like I'm more of his partner than this other guy- I'm the person he calls first, tells news too, or gets help writing his papers from. It just feels like he's throwing away something that lasted for 6 years just to try something new and exciting and I'm the one who is going to lose either way. I wish there was something, anything I could do to turn this around, but I know that is not within my power. Although I do wonder if there would be any sort of effect if I cut all ties with him. (something I have never done and cannot imagine doing) He keeps telling me he wants to me have a new boyfriend, he's been my only, would that change his feelings for me? I just don't think there is any I can do but try and take care of myself.

[arthropod98]

sorry, really don't want to get into an e-mailing thing, but i do have a few more things to say about this.

 

like i said before, i totally sympathize with you here, and i felt the EXACT same way as you do! i was hoping for things to "get back to normal", then i'd be all set, but think about it for a minute. i mean, i do believe there is such a thing as "experimenting" with your sexuality, but who's to say it only happens ONCE?? are you willing to risk this being a one-time thing?? especially since you said he was DATING this person for a period of time -- doesn't sound like "experimenting" to me!!

 

fact is, he CHEATED on you . . . man / woman / whatever . . . doesn't matter. i know it definitely hurts, but that's what happened!!

 

for me, it DID hurt to find out about my ex, but the fact that it was another woman made the RECOVERY easier! i mean, the "cheating" part was still JUST as bad, but the bouncing-back was MUCH easier than if it would have been another guy. simple fact is, HOW CAN I COMPARE?!!!

 

i went through this all, and this is just MY experience here, but i would SERIOUSLY recommend just getting away from this. think about the fact that he CHEATED, get mad, use THAT to aid in your recovery. if you really feel you need to talk to someone, then DO that!! BUT, give yourself time to heal here too.

 

don't get hung-up on WHO he cheated with -- it just doesn't matter. don't try to figure the whole thing out -- you won't. hell, chances are, he won't either. just TRY and remove yourself from this situation . . . in my experience, you HAVE TO!!!!

 

so, there's my 2 cents on the whole thing -- wait, i'll give myself a little here and say that was worth about 4 cents.

 

GOOD LUCK, and i REALLY hope you don't repeat my mistakes!

Dear Anthropod, Thank you for your response. I would really like to hear more of your related situation if you are willing to share. You can email me if you like. Thanks Christy <e-mail address removed>

[arthropod98]

in case you're interested, i replied again to your initial post.

I would like to thank you all for taking the time to post. Your words and thoughts mean so much to me. I support him experimenting being who he is. He says he is bi and I believe that a person can really be bi. I just worry that I will hold on thinking he will come back to me and then he might admit to being gay. Despite that, the part I am having a hardest time with is the fact that he is involved with someone else. It does not make any difference that it is a man, it is still someone who he shares a connection with and is emotionally bonding too. As much as I want him to experience new things, I never wanted him to get into a serious relationship. I fear that the longer this continues, the less he will feel for me until most of his romantic feelings for me are gone. At this point all I want is for him to be happy and I do want a chance to be with him. No one can promise me whether or not that can happen and I fear that I will be holding on to that. This was the person I was planning on being married too- in 3 months we had made arrangements for me to move in with him, so this is really affecting multiple aspects of my life. I can't let go and I can't stop loving him, and I don't know where to go from here.