Stardust06 Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 I've only got one remaining relative left in my family and that is my older brother. I'm mid 40's and he's in his early 50's. The problem is I cannot stand him but he's the only relative I have left! I have no respect for him - he drinks and is unemployed, behaves rudely and is very disrespectful towards me and when we talk on the phone he doesn't listen to a word I say (he interrupts me and only talks about himself). In a nutshell I can't stand him and I'm tired of feeling any obligation towards him of being family - he's done some very hurtful things to me (and when I was 7 he made me do things sexually to him one time and I have never forgotten this). If I reminded him of that he'd claim it never happened and he didn't remember it. I'm totally disgusted by him and repulsed at his behavior both sober and drunk. He's worthless as a brother and an uncle to my son. My son can't stand him either. As the only remaining member of my family do want nothing to do with him. We recently got into an argument and I told him exactly how I feel and how little respect I have for him, etc. I feel like the bad guy but he's the one who's said and done things to me my whole life and every attempt to help him or be sisterly ends up with me getting treated like dirt. I want to cut all ties with him. He's a loser and a jerk and I can't stand him. Am I wrong to feel this way about my own brother and only relative I have left? I want him out of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
MsArtful Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Though you may be frustrated with him now, his is the only family you have, and it sounds like he might be going through a rough time right now. If you stick with him through this difficult experience, you can only come out with a better relationship, and make you the better person for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stardust06 Posted September 9, 2006 Author Share Posted September 9, 2006 Thanks for your post. I hear what you are saying but when I was going through rough times he wasn't ever there for me at all. I have alot of resentment towards him because he kicked me when I was down. It's karma - what comes around goes around and he deserves having some hard knocks thrown his way! He's worthless as a brother - he's a drunk, heavy smoker and has a foul mouth. It's always all about him - he's selfish and lies alot about everything. I've tried helping him in the past but I got screwed everytime. In the past when I tried including him in my life he got so drunk he embarrassed me. I took him to dinner and he got so drunk he threw up in the restaurant - he's a total embarrassment to me. I'm ashamed of him. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 You have a choice to associate with any person you want in this life. I used to feel obligated to my family no matter how badly they treated me. But the truth is I could have let them go whenever I wanted and now that I have made the choice not to talk to, call or see certain members of my family, ever, my sense of peace and well-being has improved drastically. I hope you have other family (such as husband, children, grandchildren) who can share holidays with you. But you owe your brother nothing and can choose to cut him off any day you wish. Link to post Share on other sites
MsArtful Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Thanks for your post. I hear what you are saying but when I was going through rough times he wasn't ever there for me at all. I have alot of resentment towards him because he kicked me when I was down. It's karma - what comes around goes around and he deserves having some hard knocks thrown his way! He's worthless as a brother - he's a drunk, heavy smoker and has a foul mouth. It's always all about him - he's selfish and lies alot about everything. I've tried helping him in the past but I got screwed everytime. In the past when I tried including him in my life he got so drunk he embarrassed me. I took him to dinner and he got so drunk he threw up in the restaurant - he's a total embarrassment to me. I'm ashamed of him. That's pretty tough, and you sound like a good sister. It seems as if he as an alcoholic problem, maybe he should go into rehab, see a counsellor, or alcoholics anonymous. Link to post Share on other sites
Yoohoo Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 It sounds to me like he's somehow making you feel bad for not liking his bad behavior...like he plays the "i'm bad, but I'm still your brother so you have to like me no matter what" card.... That is manipulative and cruel, and you shouldn't put up with that kind of crap...and the sexual abuse just adds to the problem... What is family if you don't care for and like each other? Just because you came out of the same vagina doesn't mean you always have to like him or associate with him.... I tend to agree with Guest that sometimes, not talking to or seeing a family member, is best for your own, and the other's well being. Link to post Share on other sites
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