Toink Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 I'm a MW. 6 yrs. now. WONDERFUL hubby. He worships the ground I walk on. I married him because of this. I guess I can say I've never really been head over heels with him. It's just been .... "nice". I've met a man I want to see. He is a bit older, wealthy, and powerful in the business world. He has invited me overseas on a business trip with him, and I so want to go. He knows I am married. I am SOOOO attracted to him. My husband knows that we are friends, but our friendship is escalating into a romance. What do you think? Should I? Shouldn't I? Should I tell my husband? I just can't stay away from this OM. AND... I have a disabled child from a previous relationship that the hubby has been wonderful with. Gawd... I suck. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Hello, You owe it to your husband to be open and truthful about the situation. Your husband adores you and has been wonderful to your disabled child. Do you really think he needs to be so disrespected and humiliated by you? The very least you need to be is upfront and honest with him? If the roles were reversed wouldn't you expect him to be honest with you? Look you want to go overseas with a powerful rich guy so the both of you can have great sex while your husband stays home and takes care of your disabled child. What is wrong with this picture? If you cannot see how terribly wrong this is and especially if you do not tell him then you are just too far gone and your moral compass is totally broken. Because your husband has been so wonderful to you and your disabled child, this is how you wish to repay him for his love and kindness to you and your child. You are a real piece of work. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Put all that sexual energy and lust toward your husband. Buy a vibrator and bring it to bed so you can turn up the volume on your sex life. Make it your mission to turn your husband on and be the sexiest women you can be for him. Trust me, it'll come back to you tenfold. Forget rich powerful sugar daddy. He's just a fantasy who'll drop you when the next pretty bauble catches his eye. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Put all that sexual energy and lust toward your husband. Buy a vibrator and bring it to bed so you can turn up the volume on your sex life. Make it your mission to turn your husband on and be the sexiest women you can be for him. Trust me, it'll come back to you tenfold. Forget rich powerful sugar daddy. He's just a fantasy who'll drop you when the next pretty bauble catches his eye. I disagree. There's no romance there. She never was very attracted to her husband to begin with. If you leave your husband it will hurt him, but nobody wants a life partner who is just there out of respect. Think about leaving him. I don't know about this rich guy and the possibility of something more, there's no way I could know, but I know what youv'e stated and I don't see the kind of love that could get you through the rest of your life without regrets. Think about leaving him for both your sakes. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Gawd... I suck. Yes, you do suck. PUT YOUR DISABLED CHILD FIRST before your own selfish needs. Your husband is a loving and giving man who has done so much for you and your disabled child, and to thank him, you're about to have an affair, live a nice fantasy on the side with a rich older man who can take you away from your stressful, boring everyday life???? COME ON! Live up to your marriage vows or END IT with your husband. He and your daughter deserve better. DO you really think this OM will be as loving and supporting as your husband??? Think about it ................. But, then again, if you don't feel "it" for your husband, you settled when you got married because of your husband's wonderful qualities...And if that isn't enough, divorce and let him go so he can find a woman who adores him, respects him and wants to be with only him. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Either divorce your husband and take care of your child by yourself and worship your own ground you walk on or don't cheat on him. You can't have the cake and eat it, too. Besides, your child should come first. Your husband WILL find out about your affair if you let it start and will be hurt. This man will only use you as a toy (he knows you're married!) and you'll destroy 3 lives for superficial sexual lust. If your husband is not the one then divorce him and don't use him as a father figure for your child. If you go for it, yes, you do suck. You CAN forget the OM. He is NOBODY in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Toink, I'm saddened to read about your situation. Not because of the pain that you must be experiencing but for your disabled child. Are you willing to sacrifice? Do you know where your heart lies? Please think about her/his future. Think long and hard. In the end, whatever you decide to do it (I hope) will be for the greater good of your child, as well as you. Link to post Share on other sites
Michael86 Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 I'm a MW. 6 yrs. now. WONDERFUL hubby. He worships the ground I walk on. I married him because of this. I guess I can say I've never really been head over heels with him. It's just been .... "nice". I've met a man I want to see. He is a bit older, wealthy, and powerful in the business world. He has invited me overseas on a business trip with him, and I so want to go. He knows I am married. I am SOOOO attracted to him. My husband knows that we are friends, but our friendship is escalating into a romance. What do you think? Should I? Shouldn't I? Should I tell my husband? I just can't stay away from this OM. AND... I have a disabled child from a previous relationship that the hubby has been wonderful with. Gawd... I suck. I'm shaking my head as I read this post. There are alot of selfish people in this world but you get the trophy. My heart breaks for your husband and even more for your child. God help them. Unbelievable. You're absolutely right...you do suck. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Too much judgement here. She hasn't been dishonest yet, she has a conscience and is talking about this. Believe me, there are people who wouldn't bat an eye before hurting others. OP, you mentioned talking to your husband. That's the option you should take. No-one should be guilted into staying in a relationship they are dissatisfied with. Marriage is the centerpiece of many people's lives and for most it requires passion, at least while you are young. You only live once, right. OP, don't feel judged too harshly here, you should be commended for being honest with yourself. You mentioned that your husband is a WONDERFUL man...well, then he deserves the respect of your honesty too. Don't go behind his back and cuckhold him ,that would only serve as a humiliation and disgrace for the both of you. Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 I think if you want to stay with your husband then you need to forget about this OM and work on your relationship with your husband and work on taking care of your child. However if you want a way to ensure a divorce then go with this other man. However you do have a child and you need to think how this will affect them. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Too much judgement here. She hasn't been dishonest yet, she has a conscience and is talking about this. Believe me, there are people who wouldn't bat an eye before hurting others. You are right! Butr it's our job to tell her how yukful it will be, not to support her and tell her she is a good person. Even considering this is not kosher. To desire, but control yourself would be the farthest she should go. And if any of us is bad then we're bad, too. Just because I might be as bad as her doesn't make us both good. Know what I mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Michael86 Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Too much judgement here. You're right. Especially on my part. But if it somehow gets her to realize what she's doing, then it's worth it. Something tells me though that she's already decided to pursue it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toink Posted September 9, 2006 Author Share Posted September 9, 2006 Thanks for all the thoughts. Now I'm really thinking the OM has nothing to do with this. Possibly an excuse to leave? I've got a lot to think about here... So even without the OM, I can say that I am not "in love" with the hubby. Things have just been comfortable. So to change my child's life dramatically by leaving is the last thing I want to do. Maybe that's why I've stayed? And yes, the help he has given me has been tremendous. Keep in mind my child is 14, so I have spent 6 years dealing with the disability on my own... it has been HARD. Ponder, ponder. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Something else to think about. This OM is rich and powerful so the chances are pretty good he has many girl friends. In addition, this is a man who has no problem going after a married woman with a child at home and husband. What does this say about him? He is a player and he will play you. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Your husband sounds as if he's very in love with you. What I'm afraid of is that you will feel obligated to stay with him for awhile for the good things he's done for your daughter, but you will run around on him. Eventually, he may find out and be crushed, but still have such strong feelings as to not act with dignity. By that I mean he may try and overook your infidelities and beg you to stay and work it out. At some point you will realize it's impossible for you and he will not only be emotionally devastated, but humiliated as well. I guess what I'm trying to say is that since your'e the one not in love, you are the one who can act rationally and responsibly. Do what's right. He's been good to you. Don't let it get to that point. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted September 10, 2006 Share Posted September 10, 2006 Gawd... I suck. No argument here. It appears you don't care in the least what your husband wants or needs. Or you'd try to provide that. Instead you've given him a wife who deceived him about her feelings and does things with other men behind his back. It IS to some extent his own fault, because he has probably been ignoring the signs of your not-even-lukewarm feelings all this time. But I wouldn't encourage you to excuse your own behavior this way. You owe it to him to be honest for a change. He's found half of what he wants in life (someone to really love) and you're proving that half is not nearly enough. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 10, 2006 Share Posted September 10, 2006 What do you think? Should I? Shouldn't I? I think you should. It would just prove for the umpteenth time that nice guys finish last. Link to post Share on other sites
DarkShadows Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 Wow you are such a typical female. I wouldn't even succumb to calling you a Lady or Woman as it would offend those of us who aren't typical. You like him for his money. Point blank. You are scumb. Do you have fake blonde hair and a boob job too? Oh, btw, another typical thing typical females do is treat the guy who is absolutly PERFECT to them like ****. Maybe you should save those perfect, well mannered, great men to those of us WOMEN who deserve them. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Wow you are such a typical female. I wouldn't even succumb to calling you a Lady or Woman as it would offend those of us who aren't typical. okay. isn't it bad enough to hear one or two angry guys start nonsense threads on this topic from time to time on these boards, without adding fuel to the fire by saying that all women are [X Bad Thing] - oh, except me? based on the definition of "typical", one would assume that this sort of behavior is the norm for women across the globe. and yet. oddly, you (and, i'd venture to guess, just about EVERY OTHER WOMAN on these boards - for example) would except yourself from that silly "norm". so um...how does that make such behavior typical? to conclude. i believe the word you're looking for isn't "typical", it's "stereotypical". so cut it out. Link to post Share on other sites
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