Lyndsay Posted February 8, 2002 Share Posted February 8, 2002 I need anyone's help with a problem...Growing up I had no love in my family my family was dysfunctional and no one has ever loved me until now. ( I think) I am seeing a guy that seems to love me and treat me good and I feel his love from him, he likes to hold me and kiss me and make love but I feel so uncomfortable...I would rather just do the sex and get it over with or even do anal sex where there is not any love there..I do not know how to love him or be good to a nice man...But yet there is a part of me that wants to love someone, I just do not know how to love someone as no one ever showed it to me... Please help me understand how to love someone....I am so empty and lonely and unloved..Is there hope for me.... Link to post Share on other sites
Daria Posted February 8, 2002 Share Posted February 8, 2002 You are NOT unloved! You just described that someone cares about you, wants to be with you, desires you, and is affectionate toward you - all these things are components of what is (I think) love. I don't think you can be given step-by-step instructions how to love someone. What feels good to you? A warm hug? An affectionate kiss? If yes, give it back. Does it make you feel cared for when he asks you how your day was or what you had for lunch? Ask him the same things. Smile at him when you wake up next to each other. Tell him that he is handsome, and there is no other place on earth you'd rather be. If you truly feel that way, learn to express it. It may be awkward at first and feel overly mushy, but guys love that kind of stuff no less than girls do. Now, if the problem is not just not knowing how to express love, but the absense of love itself, then I suggest you stop agonizing over this and look elsewhere. But this is the question only you can answer. Be happy and good luck! I need anyone's help with a problem...Growing up I had no love in my family my family was dysfunctional and no one has ever loved me until now. ( I think) I am seeing a guy that seems to love me and treat me good and I feel his love from him, he likes to hold me and kiss me and make love but I feel so uncomfortable...I would rather just do the sex and get it over with or even do anal sex where there is not any love there..I do not know how to love him or be good to a nice man...But yet there is a part of me that wants to love someone, I just do not know how to love someone as no one ever showed it to me... Please help me understand how to love someone....I am so empty and lonely and unloved..Is there hope for me.... Link to post Share on other sites
Getta Posted February 8, 2002 Share Posted February 8, 2002 I need some advice!!! I live with my boyfriend of 4 years and yet we sleep in separate beds..The b/f likes loves me and he is the warmest and sweetest man ever, he just likes sleeping alone. YEs we make love and we kiss and cuddle and then it is off to our separate beds for the night. He says that it is nothing to do with me,he just likes sleeping alone but I take it like he does not love or care for me and he tells me this is not true and I believe him. I just feel so lonely after we make love and we go to bed alone. The fact is that he has the weirdest sleeping habits like he snores and he takes up the whole bed and hogs the covers all the time, but I still feel so lonely and offended. The only time we slept together was at a hotel ..PLease help Link to post Share on other sites
Getta Posted February 8, 2002 Share Posted February 8, 2002 I need some advice!!! I live with my boyfriend of 4 years and yet we sleep in separate beds..The b/f likes loves me and he is the warmest and sweetest man ever, he just likes sleeping alone. YEs we make love and we kiss and cuddle and then it is off to our separate beds for the night. He says that it is nothing to do with me,he just likes sleeping alone but I take it like he does not love or care for me and he tells me this is not true and I believe him. I just feel so lonely after we make love and we go to bed alone. The fact is that he has the weirdest sleeping habits like he snores and he takes up the whole bed and hogs the covers all the time, but I still feel so lonely and offended. The only time we slept together was at a hotel ..PLease help Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted February 8, 2002 Share Posted February 8, 2002 Possibly he is embarrassed about these things. He might just not want you see these bad sleeping things because you might take them into consideration and think he's weird or mean or something. Just ask him what he does so wrong when he sleeps. I know personally I talk and walk in my sleep. I also sometimes divulge information in my sleep that I don't want to. Maybe he may have a bad problem with sleeping that he doesn't want you to experience that. Tell him you would like to be in the same bed. Make sure it's a big bed though. I remember sleeping in a small bed with another girl and well... there's not enough room in a twin sized bed sometimes. He may just like bed space, get a full sized bed! Link to post Share on other sites
Getta Posted February 8, 2002 Share Posted February 8, 2002 Possibly he is embarrassed about these things. He might just not want you see these bad sleeping things because you might take them into consideration and think he's weird or mean or something. Just ask him what he does so wrong when he sleeps. I know personally I talk and walk in my sleep. I also sometimes divulge information in my sleep that I don't want to. Maybe he may have a bad problem with sleeping that he doesn't want you to experience that. Tell him you would like to be in the same bed. Make sure it's a big bed though. I remember sleeping in a small bed with another girl and well... there's not enough room in a twin sized bed sometimes. He may just like bed space, get a full sized bed! Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted February 9, 2002 Share Posted February 9, 2002 Love comes from the heart in a natural way. Turn to your heart. Thats where it all starts. If hard sex is how you prefer it than by all means go for it. If you cant handle long love making, than he should tie you down and give it to ya. You can try some self help books that you can get from the local book store as well as some love making books & there is plenty of info on the internet. I need anyone's help with a problem...Growing up I had no love in my family my family was dysfunctional and no one has ever loved me until now. ( I think) I am seeing a guy that seems to love me and treat me good and I feel his love from him, he likes to hold me and kiss me and make love but I feel so uncomfortable...I would rather just do the sex and get it over with or even do anal sex where there is not any love there..I do not know how to love him or be good to a nice man...But yet there is a part of me that wants to love someone, I just do not know how to love someone as no one ever showed it to me... Please help me understand how to love someone....I am so empty and lonely and unloved..Is there hope for me.... Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted February 9, 2002 Share Posted February 9, 2002 How long has this been going on? I believe that when a man up & leaves after a night of intimacy its because he does not love you. But in your case 4 years of a r/s makes me wonder too. We dont always know whats on our mates mind, but it doesnt hurt to ask. Is it because he gets too hot, or does he sleep in another room because he thinks that he may bother you if he sleeps with you. What does the other bedroom have that yours doenst. Have you said anything to him in the past that has caused him to sleep away from you. I would sneak in on him when hes asleep and quietly, softly ease your way on to the bed, not to wake him. I need some advice!!! I live with my boyfriend of 4 years and yet we sleep in separate beds..The b/f likes loves me and he is the warmest and sweetest man ever, he just likes sleeping alone. YEs we make love and we kiss and cuddle and then it is off to our separate beds for the night. He says that it is nothing to do with me,he just likes sleeping alone but I take it like he does not love or care for me and he tells me this is not true and I believe him. I just feel so lonely after we make love and we go to bed alone. The fact is that he has the weirdest sleeping habits like he snores and he takes up the whole bed and hogs the covers all the time, but I still feel so lonely and offended. The only time we slept together was at a hotel ..PLease help Link to post Share on other sites
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