Rocker_Guy101 Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Hi i just want to keep this short if thats ok. My girlfriend asked me a few weeks ago if she could kiss a girl who is a friend of ours and i said i wouldnt like that so she didnt. i felt kind of bad about denying this to her so yesturday she asked if she could kiss this other girl and i said yes. So they started kissing right in front of me and with a group of boys taking videos. Ive felt crap bout seeing it but i dont know why? Im i stupid for feeling sad seeing her kissing a girl. She says it means nothing and she only did it for fun and she was slightly drunk at the time but she feels bad cause she knows i didnt like it before. Would you consider this cheating and y do i feel like this. Am i stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Yes, it's still cheating. A kiss is a kiss, whether it be with a man or a woman. Maybe the difference is, she isn't going to fall inlove and want to start a relationship with a woman, so it's not a big threat like it is with a guy. Either way, it's hurtful and wrong! If I were in your shoes, there is NO way I'd let my hubby kiss another man. And he definately wouldn't want me kissing another woman. Link to post Share on other sites
littlepiggy1 Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 It's only cheating if you set the boundary and she breaks it. Technically, she didn't cheat because you gave her permission. And at least she asked your permission before running out and doing it on her own. But yeah, I don't think you should be bothered that her making out with another girl feels wrong. Different people have different personal boundaries over these sorts of things. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Well, if she asked you if she could kiss her and you said yes, it's not cheating. Had you said no and she did it anyway, or if she just did it behind your back, then it would be cheating. Whether it's a girl or guy doesn't make any difference. You shouldn't say yes to things you aren't comfortable with. Link to post Share on other sites
stoopid_guy Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Hmmm... would she let you watch? (bad Bad BAD! Stoopid, go to your corner...) Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 I wouldn't consider it cheating in this particular case since she did it in front of you and you had given her permission first (note that I'm not throwing into the equation whether the kiss meant anything to her). I suggest that you ask her never to kiss another girl while she is in a relationship with you, since you consider it cheating (and your opinion is the only one that really counts). If after you tell her so she does it again, it will be cheating. I'm sorry that you are feeling bad, if this can mean anything I'm sure that she meant it when she said that the kiss meant nothing to her. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Personally, if my wife asked, I would like it provided I could watch and it did not cause her to "cheat" with this woman. If hse asked to kiss a guy, I would say no. Double standard. So they started kissing right in front of me and with a group of boys taking videos. Ive felt crap bout seeing it but i dont know why? I noticed you are 17. Both of you are young and experimenting. So, I can understand. BUt the part of that quote that stuck out to me was that it was in front of other guys who videotaped it. Where is that tape going? Who were the guys...and the girl? I can understand your feelings, because it was not a private affair, but a public spectacle. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 It depends on you and what agreement you two reach about the issue. Like it or not there IS a huge double standard when it comes to two women fooling around. I have a best friend (also female) that I have hooked up with and made out with a ton of times. This was not an issue with my ex, he enjoyed the idea actually. My current bf would not want me kissing anyone but him so I don't. Link to post Share on other sites
FredTravels Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Personally, before rendering an opinion, I need to see the video. Can you please send it to..... (Move over Stoopid, apparently I need to go to your corner too!) Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted September 9, 2006 Share Posted September 9, 2006 Little Piggy sort of touched on the right answer: Everyone's opinion of "cheating" is different... uniqiue. The only person that can answer your question is You! Personally, if it was my GF, no, I wouldn't consider it cheating. But, I'm not you. GL. Link to post Share on other sites
megnog Posted September 10, 2006 Share Posted September 10, 2006 HEY ROCKER GUY!!! sorry i just felt like doing that no worries because my boyfriend is the exact same way!! and i don't blame him, i don't want to kiss anyone but him! he considers it cheating and he has made it VERY clear that he doesn't want me to do that. he also finds it slutty and just wanting attention which is seems like your gf was probably going for. she IS 17 and wanting to experiment but it shouldn't be that big of a deal to her unless shes going to turn into a lesbian. just say "personally, i don't like it. i'd rather you not do that again" unless, of course, you change your mind, because some guys like that kind of stuff. some don't. when its theyre gf. you know? yeah you know! alright good luck Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted September 10, 2006 Share Posted September 10, 2006 If I did it with a girl, I wouldn't feel like I am cheating. Juts my intimate perception. If I did it with a guy, the guilt would kill me. If my husband would want to try it with a guy, I would be grossed out, but not jealous or feel cheated on. I wouldn't want to watch, but I don't think it's a big deal. I would feel more jealous if my partner complimented another women than if he actually slept with another man. But I wouldn't want him to be bi-curious. I am, but it grosses me out if MY husband is. I have nothing against MALES who are bicurious so it's not a mater of double standard. I am very open minded when it comes to that. I just see it as a turn-off if it's my own husband. But he is totally straight... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 10, 2006 Share Posted September 10, 2006 (Move over Stoopid, apparently I need to go to your corner too!) I'll join you two for afew moments seeing as now I can't stop laughing. And don't get any funny idea's like 3 some's. LOL!) Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Is a bi-kiss cheating? nope, not in my books. HOWEVER! Sorry, man, but this is just retarded: So they started kissing right in front of me and with a group of boys taking videos. Ive felt crap bout seeing it but i dont know why? Im i stupid for feeling sad seeing her kissing a girl. She says it means nothing and she only did it for fun and she was slightly drunk at the time but she feels bad cause she knows i didnt like it before. Would you consider this cheating and y do i feel like this. Am i stupid. She's drunk and you let a bunch of idiots film them? What's the matter with you? Link to post Share on other sites
DarkShadows Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 I would consider it cheating, of course. What difference does it make, boy girl whatever.. it is cheating. And if I kissed another girl my SO would **** the fans and break it off immediatly, he does not like the whole gay thing. No offense to anyone who is gay. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 It's not cheating because you told her she could. The real question is, why would you say yes to something you weren't comfortable with? You have every right to say no to things, just like she has every right to reject the boundary you set. Link to post Share on other sites
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