totally screwed

[Jeff]

Hey guys and gals... a lil advice could be needed here... alright i am pretty close with this girl i like, we hang out all the time, etc. etc. anyways i feel like i get mixed signals from her all the time, and i dont want to do anything initiative since she has a bf who's like 90 miles away at anohter college.... the bigger problem is that i am also a good friend with her best-friend whom i wouldn't mind hookin up with but she also goes to that college 90 miles away... i know that i will probably never hook up with the distant girl, but i find my self fightin off the feelins i have for both of em.... any insights would be helpful..

[Tony T]

It'll only get worse. You've either got to make a move or back off.

 

The downside is either chick can reject you and the friendship(s) can be strained or destroyed. Or one, the other, or both could be very mature and tell you they aren't interested in taking the friendship to a new plateau but they want to remain friends. Hopefully they would do that.

 

The upside is that you could find romance in one of these gals.

 

I wouldn't approach the one who has a boyfriend. Doing so would expose yourself as being less than honorable. If you want to announce your intentions, tell her if she should ever be available for dating others, you'd be open to upgrading the friendship if you weren't seeing someone else at the time.

 

I wouldn't approach the one who lives 90 miles away either. It's way too far to drive, long distance relationships seldom work, and almost everything looks better the farther away it is. Let her move back to your area before trying to get something started.

 

So all that being said, you ought to spend some time getting yourself attached to a nice lady who, herself, is unattached and who lives in your area. What a novel idea. Why do you want to put yourself through such anguish hanging out and getting close to a lady with a boyfriend. That's just plane nuts!

[velvet]

Hard to contain those feeling huh.

 

Well, in the mean time you should hook up with someone elese until it's safe to make a move on one of these two girls you mention. What if you do end up dating one of them, it's still going to be hard to contain your feelings about the other.

 

It'll only get worse. You've either got to make a move or back off. The downside is either chick can reject you and the friendship(s) can be strained or destroyed. Or one, the other, or both could be very mature and tell you they aren't interested in taking the friendship to a new plateau but they want to remain friends. Hopefully they would do that.

 

The upside is that you could find romance in one of these gals. I wouldn't approach the one who has a boyfriend. Doing so would expose yourself as being less than honorable. If you want to announce your intentions, tell her if she should ever be available for dating others, you'd be open to upgrading the friendship if you weren't seeing someone else at the time.

 

I wouldn't approach the one who lives 90 miles away either. It's way too far to drive, long distance relationships seldom work, and almost everything looks better the farther away it is. Let her move back to your area before trying to get something started. So all that being said, you ought to spend some time getting yourself attached to a nice lady who, herself, is unattached and who lives in your area. What a novel idea. Why do you want to put yourself through such anguish hanging out and getting close to a lady with a boyfriend. That's just plane nuts!

[sparkle]

I agree...there isn't too much you can do except either make a move or move onto someone else. Personally, if she has a boyfriend, I would just forget about her and devote my attention elsewhere.

 

If you think that she likes you more than her boyfriend, by all means, find a way to show her that you're interested. Ask her out to lunch, dinner, or a movie, and pay attention to how she reacts and behaves. If she's interested, she'll go out with you.