shes talking to the person she cheated on me with

[Guest]

so my girlfriend had told me that she had cheated on me she said all they did was make out and that it was a big mistake. so after a few days i decided that i would forgive her and told her that i would take her back. she said that she needed a break to clear her head and now shes being kinda secretive and isnt talking to me as much as we used to or like we used to. she tells me that her and the guy she made out with are just friends and thats all they are.

 

so i let them continue to talk and what not. he lives 6 hrs away anyways he cant do much anyways. but i learn that shes talking to him alot more than shes leading me on to believe. im coming down to visit her in about a week and i dont know what im going to do. i want to confront her about it and tell her i dont want the 2 of them talking anymore but i already told her it was alright and that i wasnt going to make them stop talking because i want to trust her and thats a way for me to build that trust back.

 

i think i might have made a big mistake. what i want to know is why she really wants to go on the break. is she just trying to be nice and tell me its over? or is she wanting to mess around with this guy guilt free? if so why does she tell me that she still loves me and still wants to date me?

[britchick]

so my girlfriend had told me that she had cheated on me she said all they did was make out and that it was a big mistake. so after a few days i decided that i would forgive her and told her that i would take her back. she said that she needed a break to clear her head and now shes being kinda secretive and isnt talking to me as much as we used to or like we used to. she tells me that her and the guy she made out with are just friends and thats all they are.

 

so i let them continue to talk and what not. he lives 6 hrs away anyways he cant do much anyways. but i learn that shes talking to him alot more than shes leading me on to believe. im coming down to visit her in about a week and i dont know what im going to do. i want to confront her about it and tell her i dont want the 2 of them talking anymore but i already told her it was alright and that i wasnt going to make them stop talking because i want to trust her and thats a way for me to build that trust back.

 

i think i might have made a big mistake. what i want to know is why she really wants to go on the break. is she just trying to be nice and tell me its over? or is she wanting to mess around with this guy guilt free? if so why does she tell me that she still loves me and still wants to date me?

 

I think a better way to get trust back would have been her agreeing not to have any further contact with this man. By making out with him, she crossed the boundaries of friendship.

 

I know you have already told her that you don't mind her talking with him but it is perfectly reasonable for you to change your mind. You need to let her know that it is hurting you.

 

As for why she is behaving like this, that's anyones guess, only she knows for sure. I think you need to have a serious talk with her, what's important here is that you let her know what you think is acceptable in a relationship. If your views don't coincide, there isn't much of a future in it.

[Bryanp]

If the roles were revesed and you were caught making out and cheating with another girl on your girlfriend; do you honestly think your girlfriend would tell you that it is all right to keep talking and communicating with this other girl? What the hell were you thinking?

[Cecelius]

Straight talk? You have no relationship with this girl.

 

She cheated (if you buy the "made out" story, then you have a restrained imagination), told you about it and still talks to the guy.

 

Translation: she cares about keeping you around only as an ego issue. Right now she has 2 dudes who care what she does, and that's more fun than one b/f. Besides, she can count on you because, heck, she cheated, and rubs your face in it by talking to the guy, and you're still trying to "rebuild the trust."

 

Dump her. Or better yet, just fade out and don't talk to her again. Either she's waiting for you to dump her so she doesn't have to make up her own mind about anything, or she figures she can get away with it.

 

Just go awol, wash your hands of it and enjoy your fall.

[CrushedOrgans]

 

i want to confront her about it and tell her i dont want the 2 of them talking

 

i wasnt going to make them stop talking because i want to trust her and thats a way for me to build that trust back.

 

first part--what does it really matter if you make them stop talking? if he's in her head, she's not really with you anyway.

 

second part--no. that's a way for you to look like a chump and be taken advantage of again. she has to earn her trust back, not you bending over backwards trying to cling to ways to trust her. good grief.

 

let her go, she's not really "with you" anyway if she cheated on you and has so little respect for you that she actually wants to keep this other person in her life.

[DarkShadows]

If she cheated on you she doesn't love you period...

 

Dump the bitch.

[Rooster_DAR]

Straight talk? You have no relationship with this girl.

 

She cheated (if you buy the "made out" story, then you have a restrained imagination), told you about it and still talks to the guy.

 

Translation: she cares about keeping you around only as an ego issue. Right now she has 2 dudes who care what she does, and that's more fun than one b/f. Besides, she can count on you because, heck, she cheated, and rubs your face in it by talking to the guy, and you're still trying to "rebuild the trust."

 

Dump her. Or better yet, just fade out and don't talk to her again. Either she's waiting for you to dump her so she doesn't have to make up her own mind about anything, or she figures she can get away with it.

 

Just go awol, wash your hands of it and enjoy your fall.

 

I think the above post is right on and sums up your option in my opinion. Do not believe she just kissed him, there was more to it than that. The fact that she is even telling you that they still talk as friends is a slap in the face.

 

Lose her!

 

Sorry

[Spectre]

Put it this way, if santa was around your gf, he wouldnt need to say anything, he'd have all the ho's he'd need.

 

Drop her

[CrushedOrgans]

Put it this way, if santa was around your gf, he wouldnt need to say anything, he'd have all the ho's he'd need.

 

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

[rainfall]

My advice would be to dump this girl.However if you decide you want to stay with her I suggest telling her if she ever speaks to this guy again you two will be over.

[megnog]

i'm sure you've heard (or read) enough replies by now that you know what you need to do. i must say, my first warning sign was before you found out that your gf and this other guy talk a lot. it was when you forgave her for CHEATING ON YOU and then she asks for a break?!? she should be godamn thankful that you forgave her. she should be kissing the floor you walk on for those first couple of weeks. YOU TOOK HER BACK and she now wants a break? this girl is playing with you.. please for you. for me. for everyone else here - break up with her.