Has this happened to anyone? What does it mean?

[Ariadne]

I ended an abusive LTR a little over 2 years ago. I've learned my lesson, worked on personal growth and self-esteem, and have moved on with my life.

 

At first, I would have all sorts of bad dreams about my ex--his yelling, screaming, etc. Real sorts of things, as well as weird symbolic dreams. Sometimes dreams about the 'good times' we had, which were just as disturbing.

 

I would wake up crying and was upset/ depressed the rest of the day. The dreams/ nightmares started tapering off, much to my relief.

 

I met a really nice man close to 6 months ago, who is the opposite of the ex (emotionally mature, caring, etc.) and I am really happy to be in a healthy relationship, although this is a 'new' thing for me.

 

Now the nightmares have some back these past weeks and I don't know why. I just had another one last night, and it's really freaking me out. Why would I keep having these dreams/ nightmares about this person whom I would rather never see again in my life???

 

Thanks

[Getta]

Just wanted to provide some insight and let you know that I have been there. I was in an abusive relationship for eight years and ended it too, Now I am in a very loving relationship and have been for 4 years and the flashbacks keep returning (I have even been through counselling). I am not sure that the fear and the flashbacks will ever go away. I too wake up with visions that the abuser is committing abuse on me and these dreams make the past experience seem so very much in the present. I hope that your man is very loving and understanding as mine is....and in time the dreams and flashbacks will subside, (I wish I could say go away permanently but I am not convinced). Best of luck and love to you.

 

I am happy that you left the abusive relationship, Life is too short and precious to live in relationships where abuse is the only (love) shown.

 

Good luck

[Tony T]

Your troubling dreams would indicate you are still harboring anger, resentment and unresolved issues relating to your abusive ex. You may want to consider some counselling to help you get to the subconscious pain and hurt so you can move on and start enjoying some really great dreams about the future...rather than your bleak past.

[velvet]

I too have dreams of my ex. I think it's just the fact that we spent a chunk of our lives with the person. The memories, and the fact that we built a live with persons in the past cannot be changed even if we wish that it never existed.

 

I was engaged for four years and during the last year I realized I didnt want to be in the r/s anymore. It took me a year to get up and leave. Now I have dreams where I'm running from him.

 

So I suppose its just that there are a part of our lives that we can move on from but the memories will always be there no matter how much we try to forget. And when we relax to dream at night all sorts of things can awaken.

 

I can reccomend some hot herbal tea before going to bed. Something that to relax the body and mind or just good thoughts to prepare yourself for dream land.

Your troubling dreams would indicate you are still harboring anger, resentment and unresolved issues relating to your abusive ex. You may want to consider some counselling to help you get to the subconscious pain and hurt so you can move on and start enjoying some really great dreams about the future...rather than your bleak past.