jillybabes Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 about 9 months ago i very unexpectedly lost the best mother in the whole world. spending lots of time with my dad and brothers, but overall it's very bewildering and i feel constantly nostalgic for childhood on top of the grief. has anyone else been through this? Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 about 9 months ago i very unexpectedly lost the best mother in the whole world. spending lots of time with my dad and brothers, but overall it's very bewildering and i feel constantly nostalgic for childhood on top of the grief. has anyone else been through this? I am so sorry, sweetie. I can imagine your pain. My mom lives far away from me now, but I can imagine your pain. She will always live in your heart. The pain does become milder, they say. My mom lost her mom 10 years ago. Memories are pain triggers. Try to stay away from things she used or did, as it will only remind you of her. She wouldn't want you to suffer this much so try to remember her with less grief. No matter how hard you try, it's difficult and it's a huge lost. Moms are irreplaceable. She gave you and taught you so much... How old was your mom? I see that you're 29 - it's too young to lose a mom. Do you have children? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 three years this december, we were pretty close friends on top of the mama-daughter relationship. The grief comes in waves, but mostly it's become sorrow for what's lost, especially the little things that only she and I did, stuff that I'll not duplicate with anyone else because it was uniquely ours. best thing to do is to just move through your grief, you really can't circumvent it. If you're sad or crying, let it out, but tell yourself that you won't wallow in it for so long that you can't function. Celebrate your relationship with her: on her birthday, do something special in her honor. Or get involved with something she may have – contribute to the local animal shelter or volunteer at the library if those were her loves, in a way, it brings you even closer to her because you're sharing that love of whatever it is. pour your heart out in creativity: write, build, draw, compose. It may not be your best work, but it'll be heartfelt. Don't be afraid to share her with others, because while you're still around to love her, she's still here, in a sense. most of all, remember that nothing can get in the way of a mother's love, not even a loss like death. What she's given you lives on in you, and ultimately your children, it's that strong. hugs, quank Link to post Share on other sites
Author jillybabes Posted September 12, 2006 Author Share Posted September 12, 2006 thanks for the kind words, understanding and sympathy. i am newly single (not my choice either!!) and living in london, and whilst i have loads of good friends, somehow i don't really like to talk about it that much with them. ridiculous as a lot of them knew and loved her too, but i don't like dissolving in public. my mum was slim, gorgeous, loved by friends and family, a top teacher whom the children adored. she was 54 and had a brain haemorrhage for no reason other than pure bad luck. i wouldn't swop that for what some people go through, with cancer and other horrible things, but it did mean that we just got one massive shock. however, it was a clean break and at least i know how much we loved each other and that we were very close. it must be awful to lose a parent and feel guilty about not getting on, or that last argument, or not having seen them enough. thanks guys xx Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 54? ow, that's scary, not much older than my husband. Therefore, pretty dang young to die. at least i know how much we loved each other and that we were very close. it must be awful to lose a parent and feel guilty about not getting on, or that last argument, or not having seen them enough. I think it's remembering that love that keeps you going when that person is no longer around. Link to post Share on other sites
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