Should I bring it up?

[clia]

I've been dating a guy for nearly three months now and talk to him everyday (phone, e-mail, IM, mainly initiated by him.) I've also seen him 2-3 times a week for the past month and a half. On the "getting to know each other" side of things, we're great. On the physical side of things, it's been a little slow due to some circumstances that were beyond our control. (Have not slept together yet.)

 

Despite that, we go out on dates, hung out, he's invited me to be his date to things, we've hung out with our friends, and like I said, talk every single day. Everything is great so far, but my problem is that I'm wondering "where we are." (I guess maybe this is a typical girl thing?) We've never talked about our "relationship." I know he likes me (or he must) since he calls me every day and asks me to go out fairly often, asks about my life, basically all the things you want a guy to do. (And I've heard that he likes me "through the grapevine.")

 

But I'm getting a little frustrated because I'd like to know if this is going anywhere. He's not that open about compliments (although I am and compliment him on things I like about him fairly often), so I'm not even sure what it is he likes about me. (Don't get me wrong, I know I have a lot to offer, but it'd be nice if he'd throw me a bone sometimes, you know?) I mean, technically I could be dating other people, but I don't feel right doing that at this point. And I wouldn't want him to be dating other people either. (Pretty sure he isn't.) So, although in my head I'm starting to feel like we're sort of becoming something, I'm not about to assume anything until we have "the talk." (Is that stupid?)

 

Should I ask him what's up, or should I just go with the flow and see what happens? I just feel like after three months we should have some kind of check point or something, to see if we're on the same page. I mean, I'm basically clueless as to where we stand, but I certainly don't want to freak him out if he's not ready to talk about it yet. What should I do? Should I bring it up, and if so, how? Or should I just let it ride for awhile longer? I really like this guy, so I don't want to ruin anything, yet at the same time I'm feeling frustrated, because I'm starting to feel like he's viewing us as an "us", but we haven't talked about anything! I've really never had this problem before--most guys have brought it up around the time that I'm ready to start talking, but he really seems in no hurry. I've been happy with how things are up until this point, but I guess my feeling is we either sh** or get off the pot, if you know what I mean. But I really don't know if I'm worrying about this too soon, or if he'll get freaked out, or what I should do.

 

Any advice would be appreciated, especially from guys.

[Tony T]

Hey, it's your life and it's your time you're taking up to spend lots of time with this guy. Three months is plenty of time for him to decide what direction he wants to take this in.

 

You have every right to ask him just how he sees the two of you. Let him know you aren't seeing other people and see if his stance is the same. Let him know the direction you'd like to see things go with the two of you and see how he feels.

 

If a conversation like this would freak him out, he's not worth keeping around. If this would scare him in any way, he's not at all ready for a relationship and you would have your answer right there.

 

There are lots of guys who just date girls to have something to do. That doesn't seem to be your agenda here. If he's just being with you to have a girl by his side, let him go find somebody else.

 

Don't waste anymore time. Get it straight from the horse's mouth. Find out where you stand in this duo and where it may be headed. Talk to him ASAP!

[Gweedo]

Yes. Have the "talk." Three months is plenty of time, and you have every right to know what's going on. Do it soon before you go nuts.

I've been dating a guy for nearly three months now and talk to him everyday (phone, e-mail, IM, mainly initiated by him.) I've also seen him 2-3 times a week for the past month and a half. On the "getting to know each other" side of things, we're great. On the physical side of things, it's been a little slow due to some circumstances that were beyond our control. (Have not slept together yet.) Despite that, we go out on dates, hung out, he's invited me to be his date to things, we've hung out with our friends, and like I said, talk every single day. Everything is great so far, but my problem is that I'm wondering "where we are." (I guess maybe this is a typical girl thing?) We've never talked about our "relationship." I know he likes me (or he must) since he calls me every day and asks me to go out fairly often, asks about my life, basically all the things you want a guy to do. (And I've heard that he likes me "through the grapevine.") But I'm getting a little frustrated because I'd like to know if this is going anywhere. He's not that open about compliments (although I am and compliment him on things I like about him fairly often), so I'm not even sure what it is he likes about me. (Don't get me wrong, I know I have a lot to offer, but it'd be nice if he'd throw me a bone sometimes, you know?) I mean, technically I could be dating other people, but I don't feel right doing that at this point. And I wouldn't want him to be dating other people either. (Pretty sure he isn't.) So, although in my head I'm starting to feel like we're sort of becoming something, I'm not about to assume anything until we have "the talk." (Is that stupid?)

 

Should I ask him what's up, or should I just go with the flow and see what happens? I just feel like after three months we should have some kind of check point or something, to see if we're on the same page. I mean, I'm basically clueless as to where we stand, but I certainly don't want to freak him out if he's not ready to talk about it yet. What should I do? Should I bring it up, and if so, how? Or should I just let it ride for awhile longer? I really like this guy, so I don't want to ruin anything, yet at the same time I'm feeling frustrated, because I'm starting to feel like he's viewing us as an "us", but we haven't talked about anything! I've really never had this problem before--most guys have brought it up around the time that I'm ready to start talking, but he really seems in no hurry. I've been happy with how things are up until this point, but I guess my feeling is we either sh** or get off the pot, if you know what I mean. But I really don't know if I'm worrying about this too soon, or if he'll get freaked out, or what I should do. Any advice would be appreciated, especially from guys.

[velvet]

Three months isnt a long time. And dont let sex pressure you. Like Tony has said three months is plenty time for him to know what he wants. Testing him a little bit to see if he jumps is a good idea.

 

You feel like you dont want the two of yas to see other people. Having sex first to than find out thats all he is interested in from you will hurt your feelings. You can wait as long you want to. Dont let sex pressure you. If he is interested in a r/s with you than he should respect you more if you waited longer. Even if you decide to wait another six months.

 

Now all men are ready, just as you say "put it here" they will. But dont give yourself to him in fear of making him wait. Time is okay. If you are wondering if you should have sex with him at all, than yes wait.

 

The time period before sex is always different with different persons. I dont think that men have these thoughts of when. But just women.

 

Hey, it's your life and it's your time you're taking up to spend lots of time with this guy. Three months is plenty of time for him to decide what direction he wants to take this in. You have every right to ask him just how he sees the two of you. Let him know you aren't seeing other people and see if his stance is the same. Let him know the direction you'd like to see things go with the two of you and see how he feels. If a conversation like this would freak him out, he's not worth keeping around. If this would scare him in any way, he's not at all ready for a relationship and you would have your answer right there. There are lots of guys who just date girls to have something to do. That doesn't seem to be your agenda here. If he's just being with you to have a girl by his side, let him go find somebody else. Don't waste anymore time. Get it straight from the horse's mouth. Find out where you stand in this duo and where it may be headed. Talk to him ASAP!

[max]

The simplest answer I have is: "Love, like fruit, needs time to ripen." Give it time and let it develope at its own pace!

I've been dating a guy for nearly three months now and talk to him everyday (phone, e-mail, IM, mainly initiated by him.) I've also seen him 2-3 times a week for the past month and a half. On the "getting to know each other" side of things, we're great. On the physical side of things, it's been a little slow due to some circumstances that were beyond our control. (Have not slept together yet.) Despite that, we go out on dates, hung out, he's invited me to be his date to things, we've hung out with our friends, and like I said, talk every single day. Everything is great so far, but my problem is that I'm wondering "where we are." (I guess maybe this is a typical girl thing?) We've never talked about our "relationship." I know he likes me (or he must) since he calls me every day and asks me to go out fairly often, asks about my life, basically all the things you want a guy to do. (And I've heard that he likes me "through the grapevine.") But I'm getting a little frustrated because I'd like to know if this is going anywhere. He's not that open about compliments (although I am and compliment him on things I like about him fairly often), so I'm not even sure what it is he likes about me. (Don't get me wrong, I know I have a lot to offer, but it'd be nice if he'd throw me a bone sometimes, you know?) I mean, technically I could be dating other people, but I don't feel right doing that at this point. And I wouldn't want him to be dating other people either. (Pretty sure he isn't.) So, although in my head I'm starting to feel like we're sort of becoming something, I'm not about to assume anything until we have "the talk." (Is that stupid?)

 

Should I ask him what's up, or should I just go with the flow and see what happens? I just feel like after three months we should have some kind of check point or something, to see if we're on the same page. I mean, I'm basically clueless as to where we stand, but I certainly don't want to freak him out if he's not ready to talk about it yet. What should I do? Should I bring it up, and if so, how? Or should I just let it ride for awhile longer? I really like this guy, so I don't want to ruin anything, yet at the same time I'm feeling frustrated, because I'm starting to feel like he's viewing us as an "us", but we haven't talked about anything! I've really never had this problem before--most guys have brought it up around the time that I'm ready to start talking, but he really seems in no hurry. I've been happy with how things are up until this point, but I guess my feeling is we either sh** or get off the pot, if you know what I mean. But I really don't know if I'm worrying about this too soon, or if he'll get freaked out, or what I should do. Any advice would be appreciated, especially from guys.