I really ned some outaide input

[NeoLord]

(Edit: sorry for the messed up title; I typed it too fast.)

 

I really wish I could explain the way I am feeling right now, so please excuse me if some of this doesn't come out right.

The woman I am with is a caring individual who seems very attentive with me. We just got married, too, to give everyone an idea of the current situation.

 

Well... something isn't 'feeling' right between us. I can't really explain it.... I sometimes see bruises on her body (small bruises) in places underneath her legs, etc. This seems to happen randomly and she claims that she "probably ran into to something." Like today while being intimate: something just didn't feel right, and in some ways it didn't feel like her (if that makes sense). She kept looking around the room and checking the clock, etc. -- it felt like I was in the act alone. I also saw those strange (circular) bruises under her right leg during this, and I brought it up to her afterwards. These bruises are position in a very awkward position, so I don't know how she could have bumped into something (which was her excuse). Again I have seen random bruises on her before (even before getting married), so I dunno'...

I try touching her playfully (like we always have) and she'll pull my hands away and say, "My chest is too sensitive because of our love... I am real sensitive there." She hasn't blatantly said, "No" (and I would never force my wife to do anything that would make her feel uncomfortable), but considering her playful nature, this is so much unlike her. I have brought this to her attention before, and her response is always the cookie-cutter: "I love it when you touch me so be yourself; don't stop!", but her phsyical reactions -- when I am playful -- are always to the contray.

 

I have tested this so-called 'sensitive' area before in the shower, and she doesn’t re-act the same when we're not being intimate.

 

There is also a feeling of secrecy and it is irking me. We always communication, so I have been addressing these feelings and everything else with her, but she keeps saying, 'nothing is wrong... I love you... and you have nothing to worry about it."

 

It's strange.... I've told her on a few occasions that she hasn't seemed 'herself' (I also mentioned to her that on certain days it feels like I don't know her (i.e. like I am 'stabbing' in the dark) trying to figure her out). Here is something else that is confusing: she'll look me in the eyes and say, "You know me better than anyone, so listen to your heart." Well, on the days that I 'sense' something is wrong with her (i.e. you know -- that weird, gut-wrenching feeling), I tell her... and, well -- she makes me feel like I don't 'really' know her or what is really going on. She says, "It's me; it's all in my head".

 

She has me confused almost on a regular basis; almost like she wants me in this state. Am I wrong?? Could it be me?? Something isn't 'feeling right' for some reason.

[DarkShadows]

Hmm, I don't know what to say but it sounds like she's being raped!?!? Possibly. Women aren't generally tender in their chest region unless they're on their monthly or pregnant. From what I gather. I haven't been sensitive there, yet.

 

The bruises are what is leading me to believe she might be getting abused by someone .. I don't know where she works or what she does during the day. I always have bruises up and down my legs, for some reason. No fights, not bumping into anything, I'm just prone to bruises for some reason. I don't really know what to say here. I would try just sitting her down, talking to her gently and pulling it out of her, even if it takes a few sessions.

 

You're not abusive to her are you? She seems scared of men. Especially if she doesn't seem herself while being intimate unless she is pissed off... which another reason I think there might be raped involved or some kind of abuse.

[NeoLord]

I hate wife beaters; I have never laid a hand on my wife and never will. Her sensistive chest area is also concerning because she is acting really strange, and it feels like 'something' is wrong with her. Her chest is always sensitive, even when she isn't on her monthly. I know she isn't pregnant because she just finished with her monthly.

 

She works for a school bus company driving sped. I noticed these bruises before on days when she is suppose to have 'extra' kids to bus, but then suddenly doesn't. She'll leave for work early, still come home at the regular time, and then tell me that those other pick ups for school were cancelled. I'll ask her what she did with teh extra time, but her answers have been short and simple. This is unlike her as well; there was a time when she'd describe her entire day detail-for-detail, so something else has changed somewhere. As for her being intimidated by men: she is not usually like this. She never used to look at the clock, etc., while being intimate (this started about a month ago) so I am really confused, upset, and I don't know what to do.

 

 

 

 

Hmm, I don't know what to say but it sounds like she's being raped!?!? Possibly. Women aren't generally tender in their chest region unless they're on their monthly or pregnant. From what I gather. I haven't been sensitive there, yet.

 

The bruises are what is leading me to believe she might be getting abused by someone .. I don't know where she works or what she does during the day. I always have bruises up and down my legs, for some reason. No fights, not bumping into anything, I'm just prone to bruises for some reason. I don't really know what to say here. I would try just sitting her down, talking to her gently and pulling it out of her, even if it takes a few sessions.

 

You're not abusive to her are you? She seems scared of men. Especially if she doesn't seem herself while being intimate unless she is pissed off... which another reason I think there might be raped involved or some kind of abuse.

[NeoLord]

I'll sit her down today and try to find out what is really going on.

 

Now what is this about rape?? If someone at her job was raping her don't you think I'd notice??

[DarkShadows]

I don't really know what is going on and I'm sorry I can't be of much help. But something really doesn't seem right, especially if she changed her whole personna. Seems like something drastic happened to her. I would try getting it out of her, asap. Try following her in the morning see where she goes?

 

One scenario, and I don't mean to put this in your head. But maybe she's been threatened out of a job if she doesn't perform certain things? And in that made her change, I really do not know.

[DarkShadows]

Well the whole being distant in bed and distant with you is a sign of rape...

 

The whole not being herself in bed and having bruises and just being awkward could be a sign.

 

And no it's not always visable.

[NeoLord]

Well the whole being distant in bed and distant with you is a sign of rape...

 

The whole not being herself in bed and having bruises and just being awkward could be a sign.

 

And no it's not always visable.

 

 

How should I approach the conversation? What should I say? This is a delicate situation.

[blind_otter]

I'm a bit confused. So you are upset because she doesn't want you to touch her breasts, and seems distant all of a sudden, emotionally or something. I'm not quite clear.

 

And she has strange bruises on her? Could she be using drugs? I dunno, this is a shot in the dark.

[serial muse]

i'm confused about how well you know this woman. how long were you together before you got married? what do you know about where she works? have you met her bosses/coworkers?

 

i hate to bring this up, but is it possible she's having an affair? if she were, the nature of the sex might be rather rough...

[NeoLord]

I'm a bit confused. So you are upset because she doesn't want you to touch her breasts, and seems distant all of a sudden, emotionally or something. I'm not quite clear.

 

And she has strange bruises on her? Could she be using drugs? I dunno, this is a shot in the dark.

 

I'm upset with the way she has changed as a whole, not one specific incident.

[NeoLord]

i'm confused about how well you know this woman. how long were you together before you got married? what do you know about where she works? have you met her bosses/coworkers?

 

i hate to bring this up, but is it possible she's having an affair? if she were, the nature of the sex might be rather rough...

 

I've know her for over 2 years since you asked. She works for a school bus system, but I don't really know any of her co-workers. It's a provate company so unless I am picking her up, I can't just walk in.

 

An affair? I'm not sure... I have been notcing strange things (i.e. changes in her behaviour, persona, etc.) and just wanted to summrize things in my first post instead of writing a book.