Fired!

[blind_otter]

Well I got fired. And I just started working for this company 3 weeks ago.

 

This time I was in a meeting and was being chastised for not telling my boss that his daughter's soccer schedule was in his inbox. He went over the protocol for incoming faxes, which had I followed. After he said "I want you to think for me" I stopped him and said that statement gave me serious concerns about him having realistic expectations for an assistant. I can try to anticipate needs, but I don't think I should ever be asked to think for anyone. The whole thing snowballed like an argument in a bad relationship. It culminated with him pushing the issue and telling me, if I didn't feel I was a good fit at the company I should quit.

 

What the hell? I thought this was just a misunderstanding and suddenly he's telling me to quit? Okay....I said, well, I don't like to make snap decisions. Ever. Would it be alright for me to go home and think about it? As I planned to post on LS about it, and get advice. I also wanted to talk with my Mom and other older people I know.

 

My boss then said, NO. In this position I want someone who is gung ho and enthusiastic at all times. At that point I was like, **** it. I said to him, if you expect me to give you a decision right now, when I asked you to give me some time to think, then my answer is no. I can't work for you and I don't think we will work well together.

 

I didn't know how they worked, initially, so I kept stressing this at the initial and second interview -- I need clear expectations that are realistic. I need to work for people who pull their own weight and don't expect me to think for them. I don't think that's too much to ask. I also do not like to work for people who expect me to blend personal and professional life. Their life is their life, they should manage it on their own, and if they need a personal assistant, then they should hire one.

 

I asked him if he wanted me to give 2 weeks notice and he told me to leave the building immediately. WHAT? I didn't say ANYTHING aggressive. HE was raising his voice, so I kept talking to him in that soothing, monotone voice that people use when you're acting all crazy. If anything I looked like I was about to cry and my voice was a bit quivering.

[Guest]

It's your job to please your employer, not the other way around.

 

You shouldn't have argued with him. You should have just said you'll try to do better next time and that you're sorry you let him down.

[quankanne]

what an anal pore! Maybe you ought to go back in person and demand copies of your personnel files then give them a copy of your statement of what went down, why you don't agree with being expected to "think" for the jackass and how it can be improved for the next poor slob expected to work for him. Or something like that – he needs to be on record just as much as you're expected to be!

[blind_otter]

Well I really should have known when I first got the job. I found out the guy who worked in my position previously worked there for approximately 2 months before he was fired. I guess it's a learning experience.

 

But I can't stand the thought of working in an office again. I'm all gun shy as it is.

[alphamale]

But I can't stand the thought of working in an office again. I'm all gun shy as it is.

so what is it? back to food stamps again?

[blind_otter]

I guess I'll do taxes again. I don't know really. I really just don't know.

[BentSpine]

Doesn't sound realistic of him to expect anyone to be enthusiastic at all times.

[hotgurl]

The you need to think for me line was classic. Maybe I'll use it on my next assistant.

 

I am sorry BO. That sucks that you got fired. Maybe you could go back to school. What do you want to do anyway?

[blind_otter]

I have absolutely no clue.

 

I just have too much to deal with and I feel like my brain is going to explode.

 

The only thing I'm really good at, I can't do because I'm too mentally unbalanced.

[Buttaflyy]

I'm sorry to hear this B.O. But know that it was probably for the best, and working with someone like this is bound to come to a screeching halt at some point.

 

Unfortuantely, most bosses try and use their assistants like this, when realistically his daughter's soccer schedule is not your responsibility anyways. It's glad you know now that you and he won't mesh and you can pick up and move along. It'd be worst struggling to deal with someone like this on a daily basis to be fired after so many years. He was totally unprofessional in all of this. It may have been something that could have worked out but as I said, it's best to know now.

[blind_otter]

Yeah that's what my Mom said. It's a good thing, I just feel generally bummed because I keep trying to find a good job, one that I actually WANT to be at on a daily basis. But nothing ever works out and I am getting frustrated.

 

People keep telling me to go back to school but I refuse to continue my education until I know what the hell I'm going to do with my life.

[Buttaflyy]

Yeah that's what my Mom said. It's a good thing, I just feel generally bummed because I keep trying to find a good job, one that I actually WANT to be at on a daily basis. But nothing ever works out and I am getting frustrated.

 

People keep telling me to go back to school but I refuse to continue my education until I know what the hell I'm going to do with my life.

 

Oh boy do I understand you! Yes! I was the same exact way, I refused to go back until I had it all figured out but after much pressure from other people I did go back only to drop my classes again. It was not what I wanted to do (major in). You can't make a decision like this until you are ready, otherwise it won't matter. You feel worst if you quit, and bad if your not doing what you want.

 

Things will look up. I know you don't wanna hear that right now, I hate saying it because I hate hearing it myself. Finding work is very frustrating, but all of this has happened for a reason. Your next job may not be your dream job, but in the meantime don't lose focus on thinking about your motivation.

[blind_otter]

Oh boy do I understand you! Yes! I was the same exact way, I refused to go back until I had it all figured out but after much pressure from other people I did go back only to drop my classes again. It was not what I wanted to do (major in). You can't make a decision like this until you are ready, otherwise it won't matter. You feel worst if you quit, and bad if your not doing what you want.

 

Things will look up. I know you don't wanna hear that right now, I hate saying it because I hate hearing it myself. Finding work is very frustrating, but all of this has happened for a reason. Your next job may not be your dream job, but in the meantime don't lose focus on thinking about your motivation.

 

Thanks, B. That really did make me feel better.

 

Even if I still have no clue what to do with my life.

 

Ironically, I have a bachelor's degree. I want to go to grad school, though. I can't do anything with a BS in psychology.

[Buttaflyy]

Thanks, B. That really did make me feel better.

 

Even if I still have no clue what to do with my life.

 

Ironically, I have a bachelor's degree. I want to go to grad school, though. I can't do anything with a BS in psychology.

 

You've gotta think about it. Don't rush into anything and as I said, your next job may not be your dream or career but you've got time to figure it all out. BTW, you could do something with your degree if you want to stay in the field. You'd be a good counselor.

[EnigmaXOXO]

Otter …

 

If at all possible, you're going to have to come up with a way to work for yourself and be your own boss.

 

Given your exceptionally high IQ; you're intuitive ability to see straight through people's crap; and your uncensored candidness when it comes to expressing your truths… there's no way in hell your ever going to find a boss that actually appreciates a subordinate that has more on the ball than them. At least not in THIS day and age!

 

I know how you feel regarding the field of psychology because of your experience with adults. But would you ever reconsider using your education and personal life experiences to help mentor and council at-risk youths and/or teens? Honestly, Otter … you'd be PERFECT for it. I don't even know if you're even aware of how well they would relate to someone like you and vice/versa.

 

Just some food for thought …

[MySugaree]

The good news is that you were only there for 3 weeks. Given that short stint, the job won't pollute your resume.

 

Your boss sounds like a petty tyrant who enjoys lording over his hapless PA's. Better to leave now than 3 years from now where he would have enormous leverage over future job prospects.

 

He very much appears to be the poster child for the "dysfunctional boss." You're good to be rid of him.

 

As for post-employment plans, make sure that they pay you all wages earned. Also, for unemployment compensation purposes, apply for benefits (if your earnings history qualifies). I would take the position that you were discharged and that you did not engage in any disqualifying wilful misconduct.

 

Good luck. You'll get through this bump on the road.

[grateful]

 

 

I asked him if he wanted me to give 2 weeks notice and he told me to leave the building immediately. WHAT? I didn't say ANYTHING aggressive. HE was raising his voice, so I kept talking to him in that soothing, monotone voice that people use when you're acting all crazy. If anything I looked like I was about to cry and my voice was a bit quivering.

 

 

I'm sorry this happened to you. It is far too fresh right now, but I bet at some point you will come back to this part above and realize what an idiot this man was, and maybe even find some humor in it.

 

It was a good thing you got out of there. I understand that it still sucks to be fired, even if it was the best thing for you.

[blind_otter]

I know how you feel regarding the field of psychology because of your experience with adults. But would you ever reconsider using your education and personal life experiences to help mentor and council at-risk youths and/or teens? Honestly, Otter … you'd be PERFECT for it. I don't even know if you're even aware of how well they would relate to someone like you and vice/versa.

 

Just some food for thought …

 

I have thought about this, a lot actually. Part of my frustration is that I yearn to work in the helping professions. I doubt I could really handle it at this point, though. I get so overwhelmed by everything. It's a weird conundrum. I have a drive, an intense drive, to help people, but lack the emotional or psychological rigor to hold up under the yolk of government or nonprofit employment.

 

I think I do need to work for myself. I keep chalking it up to personal failure when I lose a job because I can't toe the line, but I take for granted that not everyone has my level of intelligence. Which sounds really arrogant. I hate sounding like I think I'm above other people, really I am not. It's weird because for the most part I feel like I respect those who are in positions above me. If not for their intellect, for the rich depth of experience that they can share with me.

 

What irks me is that when I try to get people in higher positions to share their experience and knowledge with me, they guard the expertise jealously. Like tribal communities who fear that pictures will steal their soul or something.

 

I've encountered very very few people who are confident enough to share their knowledge.

[EnigmaXOXO]

I have thought about this, a lot actually.

 

Of course you have. That's a given. You're perfectly suited for it and it isn't difficult to see it. But I understand that you're not ready … yet. The self doubt you still have will eventually subside as well. Or maybe you'll find another venue where you can fully appreciate and utilize your special gifts.

 

Which sounds really arrogant.

 

You're not arrogant. You're realistic. Not everyone is cut out of the same mold or suited to handle the same professions. We're all born with something special (a unique intrinsic talent), but sadly some people are never lucky enough to discover what their "calling" is because they are too busy following the herd just simply trying to make a buck and survive.

 

Follow your passions, Otter, wherever they may lead you. You've got so many years ahead of you, so damn much going for you, that it would be a shame to swap out your happiness and fulfillment for inertia. Life's too fragile and short!

[alphamale]

I've encountered very very few people who are confident enough to share their knowledge.

i would agree with this...

[Craig]

Otter, you are very intelligent and a very good writer IMO. I understand your desire to work in the helping professions or maybe just to help. People like you are rare.

 

Any fool can get a license to get into a helping profession, God knows there are lots of incompetent fools in the business.

 

But you have something special. I think. Something special that not many people have, a gift perhaps that makes you different and can make your life harder for you until you accept your gift.

 

My recommendation is to forget working for someone else for the rest of your life, forget nonprofits and government jobs. Think about what YOU want to do and the extra things you'll need to do it. Things like licenses and maybe a Masters degree and then just do what you want to do. Be the lone wolf, hang out your shingle and just do it. I know you'd be good at it, you'd be in charge of yourself, set your own hours and be doing something good for others and yourself.

 

Oh the reason that people are not too willing to share their experience and so called knowledge? Fear. Fear that you will either find out how little they know and/or that you will become their competition. Believe me, you already have what it takes all you need now are the credentials to be your own boss.

[littlekitty]

Sorry to hear the new BO. Onwards and upwards though...!

 

What is it with these types of twats?! I trained to be a PA initially. I thought I'd be good at it, being organised. Come to find I found it extraordinarily annoying when the fat twat in his office asked me to dial him a number which was in his rolodex in front of him.

 

Reach out your hand and use those stubby, fat fingers to dial it yourself assh*le..!!

 

So yep... definitely not the profession for me. I can't think and do everything for someone else. I expect them to use their own brains just like I do.

[Buttaflyy]

Otter, you are very intelligent and a very good writer IMO. I understand your desire to work in the helping professions or maybe just to help. People like you are rare.

 

Any fool can get a license to get into a helping profession, God knows there are lots of incompetent fools in the business.

 

But you have something special. I think. Something special that not many people have, a gift perhaps that makes you different and can make your life harder for you until you accept your gift.

 

My recommendation is to forget working for someone else for the rest of your life, forget nonprofits and government jobs. Think about what YOU want to do and the extra things you'll need to do it. Things like licenses and maybe a Masters degree and then just do what you want to do. Be the lone wolf, hang out your shingle and just do it. I know you'd be good at it, you'd be in charge of yourself, set your own hours and be doing something good for others and yourself.

 

Oh the reason that people are not too willing to share their experience and so called knowledge? Fear. Fear that you will either find out how little they know and/or that you will become their competition. Believe me, you already have what it takes all you need now are the credentials to be your own boss.

 

She's already got the degree. She's already ahead! I agree with this here. Give it some thought BO!

[serial muse]

oh no, i just saw this thread. that sucks, otter. your ex-boss sounds like such a major *******. i've had situations before where the boss expected something from me - but he didn't know exactly what, and he couldn't be bothered to figure it out himself, and we both ended up frustrated and unproductive. which is why those guys never get beyond middle management.

 

you have so many gifts, otter - and as several folks here have pointed out, you're an excellent writer. have you considered trying to freelance, at least as a side gig? getting the "glamor" writing jobs takes a little while and some editor schmoozing, but i wonder if there are places there in the swamp (e.g. univ. departments, therapists' offices) that could use someone with your background and need help writing content for whatever materials they distribute to customers and clients. i'm just babbling off the top of my head here but i'll give it some thought. PM me of course if you're interested...i know a little about freelancing.

[Ladywithafan]

I have thought about this, a lot actually. Part of my frustration is that I yearn to work in the helping professions. I doubt I could really handle it at this point, though. I get so overwhelmed by everything. It's a weird conundrum. I have a drive, an intense drive, to help people, but lack the emotional or psychological rigor to hold up under the yolk of government or nonprofit employment.

 

I think I do need to work for myself. I keep chalking it up to personal failure when I lose a job because I can't toe the line, but I take for granted that not everyone has my level of intelligence. Which sounds really arrogant. I hate sounding like I think I'm above other people, really I am not. It's weird because for the most part I feel like I respect those who are in positions above me. If not for their intellect, for the rich depth of experience that they can share with me.

 

What irks me is that when I try to get people in higher positions to share their experience and knowledge with me, they guard the expertise jealously. Like tribal communities who fear that pictures will steal their soul or something.

 

I've encountered very very few people who are confident enough to share their knowledge.

 

 

I have been at my current position since November 0f 2004...I have not brought my past with me...but I did get fired from every restaurant job back in 2003, when I was getting back into the "work world" and I had an article published during national recovery month of Sept. 2003 where I told too much and scared people as someone who went way overboard but walked back off the plank before I had to make the real dive.

 

My boyfriend said I wasn't a good server because I had an arrogance about me....who knows....but your thoughts above, really hit home with me & my work experience...

 

I even got fired over the phone before I even got to work...with no explanation whatsoever...