Author Almost Posted September 21, 2006 Author Share Posted September 21, 2006 Go back and re-read my post - I told you what to do to let women know you're interested without proclaiming undying love right away. You have to do those things with women you're attracted to - do them often enough and they will feel natural not wierd. Practice! Yeah you are right. I just need to practice doing this more. I wish there was some way I could just practice on someone without it being the real thing. It's not like basketball, where you can practice with other people in pick up games or when you are on a team, before the actual game. In real life, everything is always the actual game! I could try to recruit some of my women friends and say I want to practice on them, but I don't think they would get it. They would think I'm trying to pick them up for real, or trying some kind of stupid game on them. So I guess I just have to practice on real women I meet in real time, and see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Fun2BMe Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 Yeah you are right. I just need to practice doing this more. I wish there was some way I could just practice on someone without it being the real thing. It's not like basketball, where you can practice with other people in pick up games or when you are on a team, before the actual game. In real life, everything is always the actual game! I could try to recruit some of my women friends and say I want to practice on them, but I don't think they would get it. They would think I'm trying to pick them up for real, or trying some kind of stupid game on them. So I guess I just have to practice on real women I meet in real time, and see what happens. Why do men refer to "picking up" women as a game they have to learn and master? Why don't you do what comes naturally from the heart, without holding back how you really feel so that things don't head in the friend zone. That's all there is to it. Any game plays and the girl will pick up on it and sniff you out as a fake player who just wants to score some game/booty. But what do I know. Maybe there are some techniques that can be used successfully to bait and lure in a potential catch. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Almost Posted September 21, 2006 Author Share Posted September 21, 2006 Why do men refer to "picking up" women as a game they have to learn and master? Because it's a game that some of us, at least, have to learn and master. Why don't you do what comes naturally from the heart, without holding back how you really feel so that things don't head in the friend zone. That's all there is to it. We're talking about learned behavior here, something that is based in culture. It's not just instinct. If you go back and re-read one of my earlier posts, I explain how my teenage years were difficult, so I think I missed out on a lot of the socialization most guys had in this area of dating and flirting with women. So I need to re-learn a lot of it. Any game plays and the girl will pick up on it and sniff you out as a fake player who just wants to score some game/booty. That's what I'm trying to avoid. Up until now, all I've really known how to do is either just be a friend, or let the woman be the aggressor and get me. If I tried to be the aggressor, she ends up thinking I'm a fake player even though I'm not. So I'm trying to figure out how to be able to take the lead in starting a relationship the right way, without coming across as a fake player, but still not ending up in the friends zone by just treating her as just a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 Almost, If you go back and re-read one of my earlier posts, I explain how my teenage years were difficult, so I think I missed out on a lot of the socialization most guys had in this area of dating and flirting with women. So I need to re-learn a lot of it. Ahh! That would explain it -well partially [there is much more to a person than just his/her teenage years]. Many people, in this thread, suggested a few fabulous explanations and ideas that would greatly improve your situation. If I were in your shoes, I would take those -experiment, and at least learn to put them to use in the future. I don't know what else to suggest/recommend to you. However, many others and I, putforth numerous good and interactive ideas in Value[LS member]'s thread [called "Simple attraction question for the women"]. I'm assuming you are in the later half of life [i.e. over 30 years old]. As easy as some people may tell you, dating and searching for a meaningful relationship is actually challenging whether you're in you 30s, 40s, or 50s. Males in their early to late 20s are able to play out a series of trial and error -mess around. You want to be able to learn the tricks of the trade [in regards to yourself, personality, and abilities], and advance with confidence. Once a women detects that you have claimed yourself, the contentment and connection with her will feel "so good"; like an addict on cocaine -per say. Something to think about. Sand&Water Link to post Share on other sites
Author Almost Posted September 22, 2006 Author Share Posted September 22, 2006 Many people, in this thread, suggested a few fabulous explanations and ideas that would greatly improve your situation. If I were in your shoes, I would take those -experiment, and at least learn to put them to use in the future. Yes, I totally agree. Thanks everyone for your ideas and suggestions. I think this all has helped and I'm going to try to practice and experiment more based on everyone's ideas. I don't know what else to suggest/recommend to you. However, many others and I, putforth numerous good and interactive ideas in Value[LS member]'s thread [called "Simple attraction question for the women"]. I'll try to find that and check it out. Males in their early to late 20s are able to play out a series of trial and error -mess around. Yeah, I kind of spent my 20's dating women who went after me because they thought I was hot. I never really pursued women or was the aggressor. They made it really easy. And I really didn't have that many girlfriends either, relatively speaking. Maybe one girlfriend a year on average, or less. Now that I'm in my late 30's, and not as hot as I used to be, my laid back approach of letting women pursue me doesn't seem to work any more. Hence my posting here. But I appreciate all the feedback and advice. I'll try to practice and experiment and report back here if and when I figure it all out. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 What about for a girl? how does a girl indicate that she is interested? Are you serious? Just go up to the guy and say "Hi, you're pretty cute! How about dinner?" After he picks his jaw up from off the floor, he'll be pretty damn sure you're interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Fun2BMe Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 I was flipping through the channels and caught part of a movie on the Sundance chanel that reminded me of your situation. It's called "Happy Ha Ha". The guy doesn't have a lot of skills with the girl and they end up staying as friends, she gets all upset inside but thinks it's because something is wrong with her so she also pushes him away. He is shy and a little dorky (nothing against you) and thinks she's just not interested in him. They would've been very compatible but both were seriously lacking in social skills. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Almost Posted September 23, 2006 Author Share Posted September 23, 2006 I didn't find any movie called "Happy Ha Ha" on the web, but I did find a movie called "Funny Ha Ha". Is this it? http://www.funnyhahafilm.com/ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0327753/ http://www.sundancechannel.com/film/?ixFilmID=5791 Link to post Share on other sites
Fun2BMe Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 Yes, that's the one! It's Funny ha ha, I hadn't heard of it before so got mixed up. I only caught the second half but enjoyed it a lot! Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted September 23, 2006 Share Posted September 23, 2006 dont know about "happy ha ha" but a good one from the 90's is 'when harry met sally'. To sum up the movie, its just about this whole debate a guy and girl has on not being friends with the opposite sex cause sex always gets in the way...the end is a spoiler with the title itself...if not for dating advice but its a good laugh. A good recent movie is "Hitch"..about the dating doctor and how he tries to put this guy in the field, if you get a chance watch it. Again dont read to much into movies, as they're tailored to what audiences expect to happen...often it gives viewers a false outlook on reality. Link to post Share on other sites
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