dadsgrl Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 I'm new to posting on LS, and I appreciate any advice that anyone can spare. My bf and I have been friends for over a year, and we just started a relationship a few weeks ago. When i signed onto the relationship, I knew that things weren't going to be easy since I'm in college and he's back home and there is a 2.5 hour distance between us. Nevertheless, I entered into a relationship with this guy. Two weeks ago, he came to visit me for a day, and I haven't heard from him since. We departed on Saturday, I called him everyday, including Saturday, since then and he has yet to return my calls. I finally got in touch with Thursday after he came to visit, and we talked for 5 minutes since he was at work, but he promised to call me back later that night. So I waited and waited, and finally I called him last Saturday at work, and I immediately asked why hadn't he called. His reply was that from the beginning of the relationship he told me that he wouldn't be able to call me daily and that there is no need for me to be upset. He promised to call me later that night, and when he didn't call by a certain hour, I called him. I have yet to receive a phone call from him and it is Tuesday. For those of you that are currently in LDRs, is it too much to ask your SO to call you at a minimum once a week?? Do his actions show that he isn't interested in me, or could it possibly be that he really is too busy to call?? I've had PLENTY of time to think about our situation and I can't help but wonder is there another woman or if he needs space. I've called him religiously for the last two weeks and I haven't gotten a call back. I really am interested in this guy, and I always assumed that when you're interested in someone or something you do whatever you have to do to get it. That is the only reason that I keep trying to reach out to him. Should I just leave it alone and wait for him to call or should I continue to try to find out whats wrong?? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 It is definitely NOT too much to ask for a call at least once a week. If he's avoiding it like this, it's not a good sign for a long distance relationship. An LDR requires dedication and trust, but you can't just trust someone if they haven't earned it. He needs to earn trust by calling when he says he will, and making time. No matter how busy someone is, I believe they can always always make time for someone they're with, even if it's 5 minutes a day. If he doesn't call you back soon, I'd call him on all that, ask him what's REALLY going on, because he probably won't pick up subtle hints about it. I personally would not put up with someone not calling or not making time when they committed to it Link to post Share on other sites
Ukwizard Posted September 13, 2006 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Hi there dadsgrl. I was in a long distance relationship, and its not hard t keep in touch with someone. When I was still going out with my ex, we emailed each other EVERYDAY! We also phoned each other, and texted each other. I would have to say its unhealthy to sit, and wait by the phone. Have an answer machine available to tell if someone has called. Why not get a mobile, and then there is definitely no excuse to call. When mobiles were not that popular back in 1993, I used to wait all the time for a call, or I would always pester my flatmate to take messages. Now there is no way, you can say people dont have enough time to talk. If he`s not showing any dedication, then he`s not that interested in you. If it was me, and I was in love with my girlfriend, I would be in touch every other day, but not obsessivley like everyday. Maybe he`s frightened of the fact you keep calling him. Try to communicate to him what you want, and expect from a LDR. Agree to call every second night for example, but like I say there is no excuse for not calling or saying one will call, and not. Think about it. Is it really worth all that work if someone who you are seeing isn`t willing to put enough effort into it. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
love4ever Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 Yea he must not be committed at all. Me and my guy talk on the phone every other day....and I wish it was only 2.5 hours away! I'd visit every other weekend but unfortunately its more like 4.5 to visit.. Link to post Share on other sites
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