Another masturbation question!

[laneyann]

My new boyfriend of 2 months and I have this issue and I'm just trying to understand. I am 39 divorced now 11 years and he is 37 never been married. We have a great relationship, laugh a lot, get along great and can actually see myself with this person for a very long time. The issue (notice I didn't say problem?) is that he masturbates every day and has for most his years he tells me, looks at porn (which kinda bothers me, but I'm not a baby about it, I've just asked he keep it on the down low). Okay, back to the issue. . . . we have had sex many times and he has a hard time ejaculating cause he most times already did several times during the day through self masturbation. He has told me that he is thinking of me when he masturbates and gets hot and doesn't wait to see me that night. This is starting to bother me and I am finding myself not wanting to have sex with him. I can see masturbation to relieve tension when real sex is not available but have learned that men do it anyway. . . a lot! I wouldn't have a problem with masturbation (it's actually quite sexy) except now it's affecting our real sex life and he can't keep an erection cause he has already gotten' off earlier in the day. Any suggestions?

[LVspecB]

Any suggestions?

 

Yeah. Tell him to quit jeking off!!!

 

Look at the message here - he prefers his hand ("several times during the day"?) to you. Even trying, I can't think of a positive way to spin that Hope it works out better than it sounds...

 

LVspecB

[Guest]

Seems a bit like addiction The endorphin rush from ejaculation/orgasm is eerily similar to drungs like cocaine. He's addicted to it. You might start by softly and calmly approaching him with something like "It's flattering that thinking of me gets you hot but could you save some of that for me? It would make sex with you a lot better."

[Bob Dole]

The best advice you'll get, all in a single word: RUN.

 

Period.

 

A man - a real man - chooses a real woman over pixels or fantasies.

 

Don't get me wrong. I'm not against masturbation in the slightest; in fact, I'm highly skilled at it. There are times when it may well be a good thing; when it might even be necessary; when it relieves real stress; when it lets you focus on your work. I'd roughly guess a "healthy" rate for a man of 37 would be somewhere between a couple times a week and a couple times a year. Personally, if I only masturbated when it was for the right reasons, it wouldn't be more than a couple times a month.

 

But ... "several times a day?" A 37-year old man? Are you kidding?

 

I repeat: RUN. Run like the wind. Like you're being chased by a big man with a chainsaw.

 

Run. Run. Run.

 

Are you running yet?

 

No?

 

I absolutely guarantee - 100% - that a year or two from now, you'll be remembering this goofy post, and wondering why you didn't listen.

 

Good luck to you. I recommend Asics Gel-Cumumlus, or Nike Pegasus. My favorite running shoes. Now run.

[Bob Dole]

I just re-read your post. I didn't quite catch it the first time ... you've only been together TWO MONTHS?

 

After TWO MONTHS this guy is already masturbating "several times a day," even when he knows he's going to be seeing you that same day, even though you are (reportedly) eager to please sexually? Even though its already causing problems?

 

After two months?

 

Um ... run faster. Like Seabiscuit on steroids. Run, Forrest, Run.

[norajane]

Does he understand that excessive masturbation will desensitize him to your touch and to the feel of your vagina and that will make it harder for him to come? That's the first place to start - he needs to understand there's a connection.

 

If he gets it, and is continuing to masturbate so much anyway, run.

[Touche]

I'd walk away from this one...but walk really, really FAST!

[Bob Dole]

I'd walk away from this one...but walk really, really FAST!

 

Good point. "Running" isn't actually necessary.

 

You could skip, if you'd like. Or roller skate. Speed walking is good. Speed is indeed the key. In fact, I'd personally find a mechanized mode of transport. A very fast one. I'm partial to the Dodge Viper, but you can choose your own fast, fast car.

 

Just go. Fast.

 

Don't worry about him catching you. He'll be too busy spanking his monkey.

[Jane Doe]

First of all, I'd like to thank Bob Dole for my morning laugh. I just blew Cheerios all over my computer screen. You're hilarious!!!!

 

I agree with everything Bob said. This guy sounds like a sex addict to me. Google "sex addict" and see if you don't see this guy in the definition.

 

Do not........I repeat, do not waste any more time with this guy. He's got issues deeper than anything you're trained to handle.