Christian husbands

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Matthew 19

 

"1When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

3Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"

 

4"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'[a] 5and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? 6So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

 

This is a very important passage because it sets the tone on the responsibility men have in their marriage relationships. We see that

 

#1. God made the two to become one flesh. This rules out polygamy as God's ideal. God's ideal is for one man and one woman to be married until death do them part, because "they are no longer two, but one."

 

For some men, this is a very difficult idea, because they see many beautiful women and want to "fall in love" with as many as possible. This is not God's ideal, however.

 

#2.) The man must leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. In Jesus' days, the Jewish boys were apprenticed or learned a skill, and once they were ready to support a family, they were married in arranged marriages. They begin to make decisions for their new family and took on responsibility.

 

#3.) Jesus admonished men not to separate what God had joined together - husband and wife. In those days, women were not allowed to divorce their husbands. Men had that power to decide, yet Jesus clearly showed how this does not please God. The following is another place where we see that God hates divorce:Micah 2

 

" 13 Another thing you do: You flood the LORD's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14 You ask, "Why?" It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.

15 Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. [e] So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.

 

16 "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself [f] with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty.

So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith."

 

Men are responsible for making sure that their marriage is not broken. And that brings us to a passage from a letter from Paul - oh no!!!

1 Corinthians 7

 

"3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that."

 

Paul is stating that

 

#1.) A husband should "fulfill his marital duty to his wife"

 

What are husband's marital duties? They include providing for, protecting, caring, making sure she is happy and well in the physical, mental, sexual, emotional, and especially spiritual areas of life. (The wife is also to fulfill her marital duties, which are providing a nurturing and relaxing place for her husband and children, and the above as well.)

 

#2.) The husband is the possession of the wife. In 1 Corinthians 13:4, you see that Paul equalizes the possession of the physical and shows how both the husband and the wife are each others'.

 

#3.) Paul never got married. (Peter, by the way, was married. God gave Paul the gift of not feeling the need or desiring marriage, whereas God gave Peter the gift of being married and having a family.)

 

Let's go on to another passage; this is my favorite husband passage:

 

Ephesians 5

" 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[c] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

 

#1.) Husbands have a tremendous responsibilty to love their wives. This is the main way that husbands fulfill their marital duties to their wives.

 

#2.) The responsibility of a Christian husband is manifold because it is a picture of the Messiah loving his "bride." (His bride is the collective body of His followers.) It is a beautiful picture of love.

 

I love Hindi movies, because it seems that many times, the hero, a very handsome man, moves heaven and earth just to marry the one he loves. In my favorite, I forgot what it's called, this Indian guy stays in a Pakistani prison for like 17 years ? just because he loves this Pakistani woman who was engaged to another man. Finally, he is set free and they see each other and they still love each other (and she hadn't married that guy but thought her true love was dead and went to live with his parents and fulfill his family's legacy for his town.) Has anyone seen that movie? It is so beautiful and sad and happy...

 

Anyways that is how a husband is to love his wife - enough to give his life for her. (Sometimes I am sure that the husband will find this so easy, but other times he may not.) Even when/if he finds this difficult, God can help him love his wife this way if he asks and does his part (same as the wife submitting to her husband which believe me sometimes isn't so easy either, especially when the husband is grumpy or had a bad day at work)

 

#3.) Husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. This is very important and Paul explains why, as you can see by reading the passage again. Love means giving of oneself for the other's benefit. Actually, when the husband loves his wife and provide and gives of himself for her benefit, he is benefitting himself as well. A happy wife often means a happy husband.

 

#4.) Men will not divorce their wives or separate from them if they love them and care for them.

 

I could write more but this is getting long. Next passage:

Colossians 3:19

"Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."

 

Many times guys can be harsh even without realizing it. They need to realize that harshness is not seen by wives as love.

Colossians 3:21

 

" Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged."

 

Even though this is about father/child relationship, it is very important in the husband role too, because sometimes wives get bitter. Also, when a husband is being a good father, this strengthens his relationship with his wife. If the husband discourages his children, many times this will affect negatively his relationship with his wife.

 

The next passage is concerning Christian leadership in a group of believers:

1 Timothy 2

 

" 1Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer,[a] he desires a noble task. 2Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. 5(If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?)

 

#1.) The overseer (leader) must have only one wife.

#2.) The following qualities are very important in a husband: "temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect." (sounds good to me)

#3.) The husband must make sure that he manages well. This does not mean be a slave driver to his wife and children, but to take care of things in a proper and respectful way for the good and benefit of each member of his family.

 

Now on to a passage from 1 Peter 3:

 

" 7Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

 

8Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing."

 

#1.) Husbands are to be considerate in their living with their wives.

#2.) They are to treat them with respect. (Wives are weaker. I can try as hard as I want, but there is no way I can beat up the man I love. I am in good condition, but he will always run faster than me, always throw harder and farther than me, the list goes on and on. The man I love though would never think of hurting me. He's my protector, not my enemy.

#3.) A husband needs to remember that his wife is heirs WITH him.

#4.) From this passage we can assume that if a husband does not treat his wife well, God will not hear accept his prayers.

#5.) Both husbands and wives are to "live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing."

 

The last passage of the Bible I'd like to look at in this thread is the following:

 

Galatians 3

 

" 26You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, 27for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 28There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."

 

Husbands need to remember that all are equal in God's eyes; both male and female are important to God and what matters is living for God's Glory in the guidance of His Anointed, Jesus the Messiah.