Being Sincere needs advice please help!

[artist]

I have been trying to work out my relaitonship with my soulmate for the past month. I really love her alot but the other day i made the mistake of talking to someone who she hates and doesn't trust(I knew of this). Well me and this someone had a conversation about how she was not a friend to my soulmate(they use to be good friends, basically i stirred up some old drama)and the girl was saying how she missed my soulmate and wa going to speak to her to i guess make mends. Well feeling bad in the morining about what i did i told my soulmate instead of letting her find out, that i made a bad choice of judgement and that i love her, hoping she would forgive me. Well she gets mad and i decide to go see her to talk with her and she decides she is through with me and that she doesn't want to work things out any more. It just

 

broke my heart cause i really love her and i forgave her for mistreating me all summer and for something so deep(life threating) that i can not tell her about it, and i don't understand why she would give up on me if i will not give up on her even though she has made numerous mistakes and i have forgave her because i realized that with love the past does not matter if you truly want to make something work, one can not hold grudges. My question is should i tell her of the life threating thing to prove a point on how much i have forgiven her and also how should i go about apologizig when i know i made a mistake and she doesn't want to talk to me?

 

I'm being sincere when i say i don't know what to do. I really love her she is defintely my soulmate. What should i do? Please help i need the advice.

[Cici]

It's hard for me to think what to tell you . It sounds like a similar problem that one of my best friends had with his girlfriend...except they broke up, he apologized, they got back together. But the whole time he was talking to me about the problems I thought, this girl isn't treating him with respect and she is definately not reciprocating his feelings. I mean, she might think she is, but she's not. She's being completely selfish and stupid and she wasn't thinking about him when she broke up with him...she was thinking about herself, and how much she felt she was slighted. That's not love...love can't possibly be that self-centered.

 

And it's over such a little thing, too...talking to someone she doesn't like? Granted, when my boyfriend talked to a person I disliked, I was upset, but I didn't break up with him. I just asked what was said, he told me...but I'm secure enough with myself to accept that and trust him because I care deeply (notice I didn't say love) him. We definately didn't argue about it.

 

I think if ths relationship is really something you want, take a break for a few days and think about how you feel...not about her but about how she treats you. How does she make you feel? Does she make you feel good about yourself? If you're constantly forgiving her and giving up ground for the sake of the relationship and she's doing nothing, there's a major imbalance there. That will not work in the long run.

 

After taking a few days/weeks to think things through, approach her calmly, tell her about the "life threatening thing" (it would have made things easier if I had known what that life threatening thing was and why you didn't just tell her in the first place....I always thought relationships should be open...), see her response. Go from there.

 

You should maybe consider that the whole "talking to someone she hates" thing could be an excuse rather than the reason she broke up with you. It sounds like the problems between you two go a lot deeper than just that situation.

 

This is my advice, but from what I read, you'll probably not really think about things. A lot of times we feel this desperate need to connect with people because we are afraid to be alone. Sometimes we mistake love for lust. You have to believe that if you're meant to be with someone, you will...you can't force a square peg into a round hole, though. People throw the word love around so easily...what is love?

 

For me, love is two things:

 

1. The ultimate form of self-less-ness...completely giving yourself to another.

 

2. The ultimate form of forgiveness (on BOTH sides).

 

Please think about that.

 

Cici

I have been trying to work out my relaitonship with my soulmate for the past month. I really love her alot but the other day i made the mistake of talking to someone who she hates and doesn't trust(I knew of this). Well me and this someone had a conversation about how she was not a friend to my soulmate(they use to be good friends, basically i stirred up some old drama)and the girl was saying how she missed my soulmate and wa going to speak to her to i guess make mends. Well feeling bad in the morining about what i did i told my soulmate instead of letting her find out, that i made a bad choice of judgement and that i love her, hoping she would forgive me. Well she gets mad and i decide to go see her to talk with her and she decides she is through with me and that she doesn't want to work things out any more. It just broke my heart cause i really love her and i forgave her for mistreating me all summer and for something so deep(life threating) that i can not tell her about it, and i don't understand why she would give up on me if i will not give up on her even though she has made numerous mistakes and i have forgave her because i realized that with love the past does not matter if you truly want to make something work, one can not hold grudges. My question is should i tell her of the life threating thing to prove a point on how much i have forgiven her and also how should i go about apologizig when i know i made a mistake and she doesn't want to talk to me? I'm being sincere when i say i don't know what to do. I really love her she is defintely my soulmate. What should i do? Please help i need the advice.