Love or Confusion?

[Guest]

Okay, here's my situation...

 

I've been going out with "Alex" for around 6 months. He's a really amazing and sweet guy, and I do love him. But I don't feel we connect as much as I'd like to.

I've had my share of bad relationships, so I appreciate how great he is. Still, he doesn't really share my dreams, though he's reasonably supportive of them, and when I try to talk about things that are important to me, he doesn't really respond.

In addition, I am his first serious relationship. He's convinced we're going to be together forever. He can also get kind of jealous (with an inclination toward violence. He'd never hurt a woman, but he would hurt other guys).

 

During the time we've been together, I've hung out with his friends a quite a bit. His friend "Mark" and I made a connection through common interests. "Mark" has a girlfriend, but he's felt distant from her as of late (much like I have with Alex). So, Mark and I have spent a lot of time talking recently, and I've started to have feelings for him. I suspect he may have feelings for me as well. I don't want to go into details, but just trust me when I say my suspicions are not unfounded. It's not "he smiled at me" or something silly like that, but for instance, the fact that he told me he felt distant from his girlfriend lately.

 

Anyway, I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt Alex and I don't want to lose Mark as a friend. I feel guilty, though, about my feelings for Mark.

 

On a side note, I recently moved for school. So I live a ways away from both of them. I am starting to adjust, but this experience is new to me. I have wondered if it's just all the change. But, I also worried that Alex and I wouldn't work from the get go. It wasn't just my bad experiences, but also this feeling like we were too different.

 

Anyone have any advice? What do you think?

[norajane]

First, deal with the Alex issue. Either you want to be with him or you don't.

 

Second, you never get involved with friends of your boyfriend. Period. That's just bad news and destined to fail. Especially if you're still dating your boyfriend. Especially if the friend has a girlfriend. But even if you break up with Alex and Mark breaks up with his gf, don't get involved. Alex will be a shadow over your relationship, always.

 

Finally, you've moved to start school. You're likely to get involved with all kinds of things you enjoy and meet other men you'd enjoy being with. Alex and Mark aren't the only guys on the planet.