Karlee Posted February 18, 2002 Share Posted February 18, 2002 I am planning a 40th Birthday Party for my boyfriend Dave and want to know what do you do when two relatives that are on the guest list hate each other and fight all the time. Dave's dad's girlfriend Agnes and Dave's brothers wife are constantly at each others throat. Just last week they started a fight in the coffeeshop and I do not want this at our home. Agnes is a compulsive liar and spreader of false rumors. But yet I get along with everyone and was wondering what do I do. Do I just invite everyone and hope and pray that they get along or do I just take Dave out for supper myself and then that will save me alot of hassle of worrying about it. For his birthday last year I invited everyone and we had a great time but then last year everyone was getting along great. I just don't want to pick and choose the people to come because I get along great with his family and they all love me so I just want some insight from the professionals out there...You know who you are... Have a Great Day People Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 18, 2002 Share Posted February 18, 2002 You can't control other people's behavior nor do you want their potential behavior to control what you do in life. Have the party, invite all the people you desire, and don't worry about it. Write up and pre-print a one-page program for a fight that may occur. In the event the two make a scene, pull out the program, which will explain the history of these two and why they don't get along. Pass it out to everyone at the party. That should take the edge off things. It's very sad that you would even have to fear that two adult human beings would be so classless as to screw up your party. It sort of puts the human race at its lowest level. I would also make sure that these two ladies don't have too much to drink. If people know Agnes is a compulsive liar and the spreader of false rumors, how could anybody take her seriously anyway. That doesn't speak well for Dave's brother's wife or for Dave's dad's taste in women. What is it with Dave's relatives anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
Karlee Posted February 18, 2002 Share Posted February 18, 2002 Basically Dave's biological mom died at a very young age 52 and his dad loved her dearly but he was so lonely when she died so about a month after her death he was with another woman and no one in the family really likes her because she is the new woman in his dad's life. And then there is the fact that Agnes is the most pathetic liar on the face of the earth, what she does not know she makes up. She glorifies her boring life with rumors and lies that she is something that she is not. That is the real reason that people do not really like her. I do not like the lies and rumors that she tells, but other than that we have a pretty good relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 18, 2002 Share Posted February 18, 2002 Why don't you find some exciting and meaningful things for Agnes to do with her life so she doesn't have to resort to lies and rumors to give meaning to her dull existance??? Link to post Share on other sites
Paulie Posted February 18, 2002 Share Posted February 18, 2002 I would talk to Dave's Dad, and ask him how he would like to handle the situation...he's privy to both warring parties, and frankly, I'd maybe prod him into finding a way to not invite his girlfriend. Paulie Link to post Share on other sites
Snicker23 Posted February 19, 2002 Share Posted February 19, 2002 Here is my advice to you. I am in a family where my father and my Uncle fight just as one sees the other and also I have a counsin that fights with my whole family except me, my grandfather,my brother,and his brother. When my grandmother passed away there was alot of fights who was doing what and where and how etc . . . Thing was they were told that they only have to be there for a short time and leave but in that time if they start or do anything I will give them something to start on we were there to feel the same pain that everyone else is there feeling. So my advice is invite everyone and just tell the two that they are welcome to come to the party and wish Dave a Happy Birthday and have some cheer BUT don't start no problems put them aside for the evening that is all you ask. Chances are if they care for you two there will be no problems. Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted February 19, 2002 Share Posted February 19, 2002 I suppose I would give Dave a phone call before hand. Or have your husband call him. Than Dave can pre warn his wife that Agnes may very well be at the party. Considering that a fight was just a week ago btw the two ladies may meen that one will have to stay behind. At least for the time being. A week is not long enough for the air to settle. Your husband should have a talk with his daddy to let him know what the situation is as well. As far as future gatherings a few months is ideal for these two ladies to be apart. But if by chance both ladies attend the Bday party than I would let the men handle them when they start taking off their jewelry. Dont worry about it, just enjoy yourself. Happy Birthday... I am planning a 40th Birthday Party for my boyfriend Dave and want to know what do you do when two relatives that are on the guest list hate each other and fight all the time. Dave's dad's girlfriend Agnes and Dave's brothers wife are constantly at each others throat. Just last week they started a fight in the coffeeshop and I do not want this at our home. Agnes is a compulsive liar and spreader of false rumors. But yet I get along with everyone and was wondering what do I do. Do I just invite everyone and hope and pray that they get along or do I just take Dave out for supper myself and then that will save me alot of hassle of worrying about it. For his birthday last year I invited everyone and we had a great time but then last year everyone was getting along great. I just don't want to pick and choose the people to come because I get along great with his family and they all love me so I just want some insight from the professionals out there...You know who you are... Have a Great Day People Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Mojo Posted February 19, 2002 Share Posted February 19, 2002 hi karlee, i had a problem like this once with a couple who used to create embarrassing scenes at parties after consuming alcohol. we (my group of friends and i) quietly slipped a little word in to them, each on their own, that if they ever create a scene at a party again and spoil it for anyone, then consider themselves never invited to a function again. and we meant it. i am talking hysterical, extremely embarrassing scenes. while we have no power whatsoever to control another persons emotions, we can at least lay down some simple rules based on respect. as grown women, they need to learn to have respect for other people's feelings, including the host and/or the guest of honour. they should learn to not create any scenes out of pure selfishness and act in a sociably acceptable manner. tell them if there is any trouble, you don't care who started it, but you are throwing them both out of your house. best wishes Link to post Share on other sites
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