Why does he act this way?? He could be MARRIED!

[Guest]

I work with this guy at a barbeque restaurant who barely speaks any English, and I speak Spanish roughly so we do communicate. We are around the same age and he is always so sweet and helpful and gentlemanlike. He always gives me direct eye contact and even when we are not talking he will just stare straight into my eyes, he also looks back at me when I walk away from a conversation and he turns his head. He touches my back and shoulders a lot and pinches my sides and is always joking around and trying to make me laugh and calls me "muy bonita" or "chiquita" and he tells my boss I am his "amor" in Spanish. But, he also has told me he thinks my friend is pretty. My friends have even noticed and tell me he looks at me a lot when I don't notice. He is one of the most genuinely kind people I have ever met and our connection is insane. When I look into his eyes I just feel "it". You know?? Chemistry?? the "sparks" and connection and everything. The only problem besides him only speaking Spanish is that I heard he could be married. This is from an unreliable source and he doesn't wear a ring which means nothing, I know. He definitely doesn't act married, but I am going to treat him as he is. I am a Christian gal so it would be against my morals and beliefs to cheat with a married man, so I would never DO it or consider it. Also, I am saving myself until marriage, so no I'm not interested in a sexual relationship with this guy. I just genuinely care about him..but I know that nothing can happen. Why does he do these things??! Thanks for any help/advice and God bless!!

 

Also..am I horrible for feeling attracted to him??

[Cheshire Cat]

Also..am I horrible for feeling attracted to him??

 

Obviously not... why should you??? :confused:

 

Assuming he is married until proven single and available sounds like a smart strategy to me.

 

Unfortunately language barriers can be a big problem when trying to get to know someone better.

[Tragic]

Unfortunately language barriers can be a big problem when trying to get to know someone better.

 

Have you ever got it right with that comment. Speaking from experience here, I have been involved with a man who doesnt speak english for 2 years. I didnt speak spanish at all when we first met.

 

He took full advantage of this, immersed me in his world, lied, tricked, manipulated and decieved me. I should mention that he seemed to be the cleancut, gentlemanly, wholesome type at first, and that I trusted him, and was lulled into a false sense of stabiltiy with him, only to find out much later that he was conniving and the complete opposite of the paragon of innocence he was trying to promote.

 

 

and he doesn't wear a ring

 

Most of them dont. Actually, most of the ones I know that are indeed very married dont wear a ring, though the women do.

 

When I look into his eyes I just feel "it". You know?? Chemistry?? the "sparks" and connection and everything.

 

Oh yes, do I ever know about chemistry...It was overpowering. But in the end, I learned, that chemistry comes and goes, just like his "nice guy" personna.

 

Just make sure to protect yourself emotionally, and dont get too involved until you know the full scoop. Chemistry is proved to be my undoing, and if I could go back, take it slow and actually investigate more than I did instead of behaving like a love starved sap, I might not have wasted my time so foolishly.

 

Please, if you are determined to see this through until the bitter end, investigate thoroughly. Dont just look at him starry eyed and expecting he is going to return those amorous feelings because he thinks you are "very pretty" or his "little girl" or you are his "love". Play it smart.