I feel so broken...

[Guest]

Hi, I really need some perspective right now, and this looks like the right place...any words you guys might have would be appreciated.

 

4 months ago, my de-facto partner and I split, although we were (and still are) living in the same house, with our 3 year old son. W split, bcaus my ex-patner is/was a problem drinker (serious issues of verbal abuse while drinking ovr the years), and a workaholic who seemed to me to find putting anything into our r/ship an inconvenience that got in the way of work...if he wasn't physically at work, he was home-but-working, unless he was asleep, I'm not kidding.. We fought constanty, and I was not liking the person it was turning me into. So I called a split, and we decided to remain in the same house so that our son had access to both parents.

 

Shortly after the split I became involved with a gentle, caring man who has come to care for me , and I for him, very much.

 

My ex is stilll having drinking issues...2 weeks ago got very drunk and spent the entire night, til 9am the next day verbally abusing me on the phone then in person...he wants me to break it off with my new man and come back, to keep our family together. In return, he promises to stop drinking, or follow a strrict moderation plan.

 

I still love my ex, always will, he is a geat father, and we've shared so much, both good and bad...he's not a bad man, we just seem toxic together...but I can't help but think, "What if this time, we actually can make it work, give our son both parents, no broken home..." but the thing is I've heard the promises that followed the drinking a hundred times before, and he still won't really admit he has a problem.

 

I don't know what to do...go back, give my son a complete family that has a high chance of being destructive and brings out the worst in his parents, or try slowly and carefully with the new man, who is more caring and supportive than anyone I've ever had a r/ship with.

 

I love them both in different ways, and it breaks my heart to think of losing either of them...more importantly, I've lost sight from here of what is best for my son. It's alll so complex, and I feel like every waking moment is hell...one moment my ex is begging for another chance an making promises of change, the next he's cold and distant and nasty..I don't know which version of him to trust, especially with the ongoing alcohol issues.

 

And all through this drama, my new friend is makng no demands, no pressure, is just there willing to look after my son and I and simply try to weather the storm and build a new life with me.

 

Please give me an outsider's perspective, if you have any questions, I'll gladly answer them.

 

Thanks in advance, it's appeciated.